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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

  • WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

  • YOU KNOW, FOLKS, EVEN FROM A DISTANCE I CAN SENSE YOUR

  • EXCITEMENT BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR THE NEXT INSTALT OF AMERICA'S

  • FAVORITE GAME SHOW, "THE COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."

  • AND THE AWARD FOR BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN

  • "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE" GOES TO... I'M SO EXCITED.

  • I'M SO EXCITED.

  • MERYL STREEP!

  • HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE HERE WITH MERYL STREEP.

  • MERYL, THANKS SO MUCH FOR AGREEING TO BE PART OF TONIGHT'S

  • QUESTIONNAIRE.

  • NOW WE GET INTO THE HEAT OF THE MEAT.

  • THIS IS THE ACTUAL 15 QUESTIONS ON THE "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE"

  • THAT HELPED REVEAL EXACTLY WHO A PERSON IS.

  • ALL RIGHT?

  • IT-- IT'S GOING TO BE PAINLESS, I PROMISE YOU.

  • >> OKAY.

  • >> Stephen: IF AT ANY POINT YOU SAY, "I DON'T WANT TO DO

  • THIS," WALK AWAY.

  • JUST WALK AWAY FROM THE CAMERA, MERYL.

  • MERYL STREEP, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH?

  • >> PASTRAMI.

  • >> Stephen: ON?

  • >> RYE.

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S THE CORRECT ANSWER.

  • WHAT'S ONE THING YOU OWN THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?

  • >> EVERY PIECE OF CLOTHING IN THERE!

  • ESPECIALLY THIS SHIRT, WHICH I'VE WORN ON SEVEN INTERVIEWS.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SHIRT?

  • >> NOTHING, BUT PEOPLE ARE SICK OF IT.

  • BUT I HAVE NOTHING ELSE.

  • AND I WAS THINKING OF WEARING A PLAID SHIRT, AND NOW YOU ARE

  • WEARING A PLAID SHIRT, SO IT'S A GOOD THING I DIDN'T.

  • >> Stephen: IT'S SIMPLE.

  • IT'S SILKY.

  • IT'S GOOD FOR THE HOLIDAYS BECAUSE IT'S CRANBERRY.

  • >> EXACTLY.

  • >> Stephen: IT FITS NEW ENGLAND WELL.

  • OKAY, WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?

  • >> OOOH!

  • BLACK WIDOW SPIDER.

  • WHICH YOU CAN IDENTIFY FROM THE LITTLE WHITE, SPIKY EGG POD.

  • YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: BLACK WIDOW SPIDER.

  • OKAY.

  • AND THE LITTLE-- THE HOUR GLASS ON ITS BELLY, TOO.

  • >> YES, NO, BUT THE WAY YOU CAN TELL THE NEST IS IF THAT-- IT

  • LOOKS LIKE A CORONAVIRUS, BUT WHITE.

  • >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

  • >> THAT'S THEIR -- >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

  • >> EGG SACK.

  • >> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES?

  • >> APPLES.

  • >> Stephen: OF COURSE.

  • AND THE REASON BEING, YOU CAN'T PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON AN ORANGE.

  • >> PEOPLE HAVE, THOUGH.

  • IN MY FAMILY.

  • >> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR

  • AUTOGRAPH?

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHO?

  • >> RICHARD NIXON.

  • >> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT?

  • >> AND I GOT IT.

  • AND IT WAS ON A MILKY WAY WRAPPER.

  • AND I WAS 12, AND MY DAD TOOK ME TO SAN FRANCISCO AND HE WAS IN A

  • PARADE.

  • AND I RAN ALONGSIDE THE THING, AND I REACHED FOR THE WRAPPER

  • AND HE WROTE HIS NAME ON IT.

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU STILL HAVE IT?

  • >> NO!

  • >> Stephen: I WROTE RICHARD NIXON WHEN I WAS.

  • 1972... WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD.

  • I HAD AN IDEA THERE SHOULD BE CONTINENTAL FLAGS.

  • WE HAD STATE FLAGS.

  • WE HAD CITY FLAGS.

  • WHY NOT CONTINENTAL FLAGS FOR UNITY OF NATIONS.

  • SO I WROTE-- WHAT'S-- WHAT'S TRUDEAU'S DAD?

  • PIERRE TRUDEAU.

  • I WROTE PIERRE TRUDEAU, I WROTE RICHARD NIXON AND WHOEVER AT THE

  • TIME WAS THE PRESIDENT OF MEXICO.

  • I GOT A LOVELY LETTER BACK FROM NIXON'S OFFICE SAYING, "THE

  • PRESIDENT LOVES YOUR IDEA," AND HE SENT A SIGNED BOOK OF PHOTOS

  • OF NIXON WITH CHILDREN.

  • ( LAUGHING ( DO I HAVE IT?

  • NO!

  • OKAY.

  • LET'S SEE.

  • WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?

  • >> OH... I THINK WE SEE EVERYONE WE LOVE, AND WE THEN GO BACK AND

  • INFLUENCE THE LIVES OF EVERYONE WE'VE LEFT BEHIND.

  • >> Stephen: I LIKE THAT.

  • FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE.

  • >> YOU'VE STUMPED ME.

  • >> Stephen: THE CORRECT ANSWER IS "THE RIVER WILD."

  • ( LAUGHS ) OKAY, DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE

  • SMELL?

  • >> APPLE PIE.

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A LEAST-FAVORITE SMELL?

  • >> HE'S SITTING RIGHT THERE.

  • I CAN TURN IT RIGHT THERE.

  • HE PRODUCES THAT SMELL.

  • BUT HE ISN'T DOING IT NOW, SO...

  • >> Stephen: EXERCISE, IS IT WORTH IT?

  • >> YES, IT IS.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • FLAT OR SPARKLING?

  • FLAT OR SPARKLING.

  • >> SPARKLING.

  • >> Stephen: MOST-USED APP ON YOUR PHONE.

  • >> OH, THE PODCAST.

  • >> Stephen: SURE ONE MORE TIME WITH THE GESTURE, PLEASE.

  • AT CBS WE HAVE TO BLUR THAT, I THINK.

  • WHAT PODCAST ARE YOU LISTENING TO, AND SEND ME SOME LINKS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, YOU GET ONE SONG TO LISTEN

  • TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

  • WHAT IS IT?

  • >> OH HAJERO, JONI MITCHELL.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF?

  • >> THREE.

  • >> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

  • >> VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY LONG.

  • >> Stephen: MERYL STREEP, EVERYBODY.

  • NOW YOU KNOW HER.

  • THANKS AGAIN, MERYL.

  • WHEN WE COME BACK, GEORGE CLOONEY REMINDS YOU WHICH FRUIT

  • IS A GREAT SOURCE OF BONGS.

  • ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

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Meryl Streep Takes "The Colbert Questionert"

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/11
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