Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • -Our next guest has released his latest comedy special,

  • "Out To Lunch," for free on YouTube.

  • Please welcome the very funny Mark Normand!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Hey, hey. Comedian Mark Normand here.

  • We're in New York City,

  • great town for comedy, but not anymore.

  • The clubs are closed. So we got to get creative.

  • Let's try this floating comedy club.

  • [ Applause ]

  • Comedy!

  • [ Foghorn blows ]

  • Hey, hey, folks!

  • Here we are on the Staten Island Ferry

  • in New York City.

  • Whoo! [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Thanks for coming out. This is good times.

  • Good to be here.

  • This is kind of like being on the Titanic,

  • except it's the economy that's sinking.

  • Yeah, yeah, these are crazy times.

  • I can't believe we're all here

  • 'cause some guy made love to a bat.

  • Speaking of bats, they actually shut down the production of

  • the movie "Batman" because Batman got corona,

  • which doesn't shock me too much,

  • 'cause the wrong part of his face is covered.

  • Man, corona's starting to feel like the "check engine" light.

  • At first, it's scary, but after a while, you're like,

  • "Screw it.

  • I got to go to work."

  • This has been a wild year.

  • 2020. This is the only year my therapist has ever recommended

  • I start living in the past.

  • I watch the news every day. It's a big bummer.

  • I think everybody knows that.

  • How about that Fauci? He's cute.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Fauci -- he's like a COVID groundhog.

  • Every time I see him, I'm like,

  • "Aah, we got six more weeks of pandemic."

  • Oh, he's so little. I love him.

  • Yeah, the NBA. That's weird, too.

  • There's no one in the seats. How eerie is that?

  • No one in the seats at the NBA games.

  • I got an idea.

  • All those racist statues you tore down?

  • Let's put them in the seats.

  • I think that would motivate the players.

  • You know, LeBron's like, "Is that Robert E. Lee?

  • Alright, we got to win this one."

  • Yeah, everybody needs a break right now.

  • I went to the hot-dog-eating contest in Brooklyn.

  • It was nice, but I got to say,

  • the hot dog is the perfect symbol for America,

  • because it's enjoyable, but once you find out how it was made,

  • you're like, "Ooh!

  • I didn't want to know."

  • We all got to come together.

  • A lot of tension out there.

  • I have no hatred towards any group.

  • You know, we're all the same color on the inside.

  • Well, except for smokers.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • Everybody's upset about something.

  • Everybody's very sensitive right now.

  • My buddy's a vegan. Ooh!

  • I'm walking on eggshells around this guy.

  • He really hates that.

  • Yeah, I went to a strip club in Texas.

  • Man, it's so weird. The women have to wear masks.

  • It's crazy.

  • I had to go get a private dance, you know,

  • and the stripper was like, "Hey, tell me a joke."

  • I'm like, "Look, I'm not at work.

  • You are."

  • I brought my girlfriend to a pet shop.

  • You got to get a dog these days.

  • That will make you feel better.

  • Brought my girlfriend to a pet shop.

  • Geez Louise!

  • The pet shop -- that is the strip club for women.

  • A woman in a pet shop is like a horny guy at a strip club.

  • She just walks in.

  • She can barely handle it like, "Oh, my God.

  • I want to touch them all."

  • I had to be like, "Hey, relax.

  • Some of these are broken homes. They might bite you."

  • Yeah, she was just going down the line like a horny guy.

  • "That one's beautiful. That one's gorgeous.

  • That's my favorite. I like that one the best."

  • You know?

  • The manager was like, "Hey, that's Roxy.

  • Everybody likes Roxy. Yeah, yeah. Bring over Roxy."

  • Yeah, now they go to a private area.

  • They put her on her lap. They're having a great time.

  • She's like, "I swear to God, Roxy's in love with me."

  • I'm like, "No, she's just looking for a better life."

  • Thanks a lot. I'm Kevin Hart. Enjoy the second wave.

  • Thank you, New York! Have a good night.

  • Comedy!

  • [ Sea gulls squawking ]

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Mark Normand.

  • For more info, visit marknormandcomedy.com.

-Our next guest has released his latest comedy special,

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 TheTonightShow comedy strip club applause shop club

Mark Normand Stand-Up

  • 1 0
    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/11
Video vocabulary