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  • OUR FIRST GUEST IS A HUGELY POPULAR STAND-UP COMEDIAN,

  • ACTOR, AUTHOR, AND COMMENTATOR ON "CBS SUNDAY MORNING."

  • WHAT A JOY TO TALK TO HIM TODAY.

  • AND WE NEED HIM NOW MORE THAN EVER, PLEASE WELCOME MR. JIM

  • GAFFIGAN IS ON THE SHOW, JIM T IS NO NICE TO SEE YOU, IT HAS

  • BEEN A CRAZY DAY WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON.

  • HOW ARE THE GAFFIGANS HOLDING UP?

  • >> OH MY GOSH, YOU KNOW, I DON'T-- YOU KNOW, WE-- I GUESS

  • WE HAD THESE NAIVE EXPECTATIONS THAT ONCE 2021 WOULD START THAT

  • IT WOULD JUST BE ALL, YOU KNOW, GRAVY.

  • AND LIKE YOU KNOW, CONTEMPLATING WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO ONCE THE

  • PANDEMIC IS OVER.

  • BUT IT IS GETTING CRAZY AND CRAZY AND TODAY IS JUST ABSURD.

  • IT'S A LEVEL OF ABSURDITY AND LIKE EVERYONE, I WAS WATCHING

  • SAYING-- THINGS HAPPEN ON THE NEWS.

  • AND I WAS READING ALONG ON TWITTER.

  • AND WHAT I THOUGHT OF, WAS BECAUSE HERE I AM KIND OF RIDING

  • OUT THE PANDEMIC WITH MY FIVE CHILDREN.

  • I WAS THINKING HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO MY KIDS.

  • OR HOW IS HISTORY GOING TO EXPLAIN IT.

  • SO MANY PEOPLE WERE DOING SUCH AMAZING COMEN TEAR STUFF ON

  • TWITTER.

  • SO I JUST DECIDED TO, I TALKED ABOUT IT FROM A HISTORICAL

  • PERSPECTIVE, KIND OF LIKE YOU KNOW IN MY MIND, WE'VE ALL

  • WALKED THIS SLOW BUILD OF THIS CHAOS, YOU KNOW, AND SO WHAT

  • CAME TO MIND WAS THIS IDEA.

  • AND THEN THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS STORMED THE CAPITOL BUILDING,

  • AND THE REPUBLICANS STILL DID NOTHING.

  • DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

  • IT'S JUST THIS WEIRD THING.

  • YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT, EVEN WHEN YOU DID MAYBE I'M

  • AMAZED, I MEAN THATS WITH A LIFETIME AGO, YOU KNOW WHAT I

  • MEAN.

  • >> IT WAS A DECADE AGO.

  • YOU ARE RIGHT, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY

  • INSTANCES OVER THE PAST, CERTAINLY 12 MONTHS.

  • ACTUALLY FOUR YEARS, REALLY, WHERE I'VE HAD THE FEELING OR I

  • HAVE HAD THE CONVERSATION WITH MY LIFE, HOW DO WE EXPLAIN THIS

  • TO THE KIDS.

  • BECAUSE THEY'LL SEE SOMETHING GOING ON.

  • AND I THINK THAT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING WAY TO DO IT REALLY

  • IS TO THINK ABOUT IT AS BEING IN THE PAST.

  • AND THEN THIS HAPPENS, DO YOU KNOW, WHICH IS HOW YOU EXPLAIN

  • TERRIBLE ATROCITIES THROUGHOUT HISTORY TO CHILDREN.

  • AND.

  • >> YEAH, SO I DID, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO READ THESE, IT

  • IS FUNNY BECAUSE I WAS, YOU KNOW, BEFORE THIS I HAD DINNER

  • WITH MY KIDS AND I ENDED UP READING THEM TO THEM.

  • BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, WE'RE ALL KIND OF GOING THROUGH THIS.

  • AND WHATEVER -- HOWEVER WE DIGEST THIS OR THE LEVEL OF CAR

  • THAR SIS WE CAN GRASP ON TO IS WHAT WE ARE HOLDING ON TO.

  • AND THEN THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS STORMED THE CAPITOL AND THE

  • REPUBLICAN PARTY STILL DID NOTHING.

  • AND THEN SOMEONE COMMENTED THEN WHAT HAPPENED, DADDY.

  • THIS GUY JOE REYNOLDS, THEN WHAT HAPPENS, AND SO THEN I JUST KIND

  • OF PLAYED OFF IT.

  • THEN WHAT HAPPENED, DADDY, WELL, THEN TRAITORRIST COWARDLY

  • REPUBLICAN PRAISED THAT PEOPLE WOULD FORGET ABOUT THEIR

  • SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, DADDY, DID PEOPLE FORGET THAT REPUBLICANS

  • CAVED TO EVERYTHING TRUMP WANTED?

  • OUT OF FEAR OF FACING A PRIMARY CHALLENGE?

  • WELL, SON, THAT IS WHY WE TELL THIS STORY.

  • SO PEOPLE KNOW THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WAS REBRANDED.

  • THEY HAVE TO BE.

  • DADDY, WHAT IS REBRANDED.

  • >> IT IS WHEN A PRODUCT OR IN THIS CASE A POLITICAL PARTY IS

  • SO TOXIC THAT THEY MUST HIDE WHO THEY ARE.

  • WOW, THOSE REPUBLICANS WERE COWARDLY, DADDY.

  • >> YES, SON, THEY WERE, AND THEY STILL ARE, BUT THEY WERE ALSO

  • WILDLY AMBITIOUS, TED CRUZ, MARCO RUBIO AND JOSH HAWLEY ALL

  • KNEW BETTER, BUT THEY WERE CONSUMED WITH AMBITION.

  • AND AMBITION FOR WHAT, DADDY, TO BE PRESIDENT.

  • THAT'S RIGHT, SON, THEY WANTED TO TAKE OVER THE REPUBLICAN

  • PARTY WHEN TRUMP WENT TO JAIL.

  • OR THEY WANTED TO BE A BIG JOB ON FOX NEWS.

  • >> DADDY, WHAT WAS FOX NEWS, WAS THAT A NETWORK.

  • >> WELL, FOX NEWS WAS THE PROPAGANDA ARM OF THE REPUBLICAN

  • PARTY FILLED WITH CRAZY MEN AND MOSTLY BLOND WOMEN.

  • >> DADDY S THAT WHY PEOPLE MAKE DUMB BLOND JOKES.

  • >> HA HA HA, NOT ALL BLOBDS ARE.

  • >> I USED TO HAVE BLOND HAIR.

  • >> YOU HAD HAIR WHEN TRUMP WAS PRESIDENT.

  • >> A LITTLES WITH AND IT GOES ON AND ON.

  • AND IT'S JUST, IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS CATH ARTHIC TO KIND OF

  • DIGEST THIS CHAOS BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE KNOWN ALL THESE-- IT IS SO

  • WEIRD TO WITNESS THIS, AND SEE IT HAPPEN AND SEE THESE PEOPLE

  • THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIM IN CHECK NOT DO IT OUT OF WHAT I

  • BELIEVE IS FEAR.

  • AND IT IS JUST, IN THE END YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOME PRINCIPLES.

  • >> James: WHAT IS STRANGE, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT KIND

  • OF IN THE SORT OF MAYBE MONTH LEADING UP TO THE ELECTION, I

  • FIND MYSELF HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE AND THEY SAY THINGS

  • LIKE IT'S GOING TO GET REALLY UGLY.

  • YOU WATCH, IT'S GOING TO GET REALLY UGLY.

  • THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME REAL CIVIL UNREST.

  • AND THEN THE ELECTION HAPPENED AND OBVIOUSLY IT TOOK LONGER

  • THAN PERHAPS PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO.

  • AND BY THE SUNDAY WHEN BIDEN WAS ANNOUNCED, IS IT GOING TO, IT

  • SORT OF DIDN'T.

  • AND THEN NOW WITH THE RUNOFF IN GEORGIA, SEEING WHAT HAS

  • HAPPENED TODAY, PART OF ME FEELS LIKE, WELL, WHO COULD HAVE

  • PREDICTED THIS, OH, THAT'S RIGHT, EVERYONE.

  • LIKE WE KNEW THAT IT WAS-- IT WAS COMING AT SOME POINT.

  • IT WOULD JUST SORT OF BUBBLE UP IN THAT WAY, YOU KNOW.

  • >> WELL, I THINK IT'S INCREDIBLE BECAUSE I'M NOT A POLITICIAN, I

  • USED TO DO STANDUP COMEDY, I WOULD LIKE TO RETURN TO IT

  • EVENTUALLY ONE DAY, I LIKE TO ACT.

  • BUT THE THING IS, THE REASON I'M NOT A POLITICIAN IS BECAUSE I AM

  • A COWARD.

  • THE REASON I RESPECT THE MILITARY IS BECAUSE OF THEIR

  • BRAVERY.

  • AND THE POLITICIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO STAND UP FOR THE PRINCIPLES

  • THAT THEY BELIEVE IN.

  • THEY WANTED TO SERVE THE GREATER GOOD.

  • AND SO I AM NOT SAYING THAT POLITICIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE

  • PERFECT BUT LIKE AT LEAST DO SOME OF IT.

  • YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE I UNDERSTAND THAT THESE PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO

  • BE PRIMARIED OR THEY WANT TO BE ABLE TO GO TO THEIR COUNTRY CLUB

  • AND NOT BE HARASSED.

  • BUT LIKE YOU GOT TO DO YOUR JOSH.

  • YOU GOT TO DO YOUR JOB.

  • IT'S LIKE ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT ARE PROTESTING, I DON'T

  • NECESSARILY BLAME THEM.

  • I BLAME THE INABILITY OF PEOPLE JUST TO STAND UP TO WHAT WE KNOW

  • IS A BULLY.

  • AND IT IS WEIRD, AS A PARENT AND BEING TRAPPED WITH MY FAMILY FOR

  • TEN MONTHS, IT ONLY HEIGHTENS THE RESPONSIBILITY.

  • IT'S LIKE OUR KIDS ARE WATCHING.

  • IT'S LIKE, IT'S NOT AS IF HISTORY IS NOT GOING TO REVEAL

  • THAT TRUMP WAS WILDLY CORRUPT, THAT THESE REPUBLICANS THAT

  • WHATEVER, THAT MITCH MCCONNELL SPEECH WAS THE RIGHT THING TO

  • DO, THAT IT WAS RIGHT FOR ROMNEY TO STAND UP AND SAY WHAT HE SAID

  • IT IS LIKE HISTORY IS GOING TO SHOW THIS.

  • SO ARE YOU DOING IT SO YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR APPETIZER AT A

  • COUNTRY CLUB?

  • IT IS LIKE HOW SHORT SIGHTED CAN YOU BE.

  • ANYWAY, THAT IS WHY I AM RUNNING FOR SENATOR.

  • NO, I'M NOT.

  • I DON'T WANT TO BE A POLITICIAN.

  • IT IS WEIRD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU AND I, NOT ONLY ARE WE, YOU

  • KNOW, WE'RE KIND OF LIKE YOUR BRITISH VERSION OF ME AND--

  • THERE IS PART OF ME THAT I FEEL THERE IS A CERTAIN, I DON'T

  • WANT TO YOU KNOW LIKE-- I LIKE OBSERVING POLITICS.

  • I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED.

  • I AM A FAN OF DEMOCRACY, I'M A FAN OF PEOPLE THAT SERVE,

  • PEOPLE, THE MILITARY, THESE POLITICAL LEADERS THAT GIVE

  • THEIR LIVES TO SERVE THEIR COMMUNITY.

  • I HAVE RESPECT FOR THAT BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

  • I WANT THE NEWS TO BE BORING AGAIN.

  • AND IT IS ALMOST AS IF, AND I'M SPEAKING TO YOU, IT IS LIKE WE

  • KEEP GETTING DRAGGED INTO THIS.

  • STAND NOT KIND OF IN MY PERSONALITY,.

  • >> James: NOT IN ANYWAY.

  • THAT IS HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME.

  • I MEAN LOOK, WE'RE DOING THIS SHOW IN MY GARAGE BECAUSE OF AN

  • ABSOLUTE LACK OF LEADERSHIP AND CLEAR MESSAGING, THAT IS WHAT IT

  • IS DOWN TO.

  • ALL OF IT.

  • YOU WOULD THINK, YOU WOULD THINK THAT, IT WAS INTERESTING YOU

  • SAYING THAT, ABOUT THE MITCH MCCONNELL, THE RUBIO, THE TED

  • CRUZS.

  • YOU WOULD THINK THAT THEY WOULD LOOK AT, YOU KNOW, SOMEONE LIKE

  • STACEY ABRAMS AND WHAT SHE HAS MANAGED TO DO.

  • AND THE VOLUME OF SUSPECT THAT IS COMING HER WAY AND RIGHTLY

  • SO.

  • AND SHOULD CONTINUE TO DO SO BECAUSE OF DECADES FOR WHAT SHE

  • HAS DONE FOR, YOU KNOW, ON THE GROUND, GROUND ROOTS POLITICS.

  • YOU WOULD THINK IN A WAY THEY WOULD LOOK AND GO OH, I

  • SHOULD-- I SHOULD BE MORE LIKE THAT, THAT-- I SHOULD HAVE-- I

  • SHOULD STAND FOR SOMETHING.

  • >> RIGHT?

  • IT'S-- FOR ME IT'S JUST MADNESS BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE THE 74

  • MILLION PEOPLE THAT VOTED FOR TRUMP, I DON'T THINK THEY WANTED

  • THIS.

  • THEY DIDN'T WANT PEOPLE STORMING THE CAPITOL.

  • BUT THEY WERE PRESENTED WITH A DECISION AND THEY CHOSE WHAT

  • THEY THOUGHT WAS THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS.

  • I DISAGREE COMPLETELY.

  • BUT IT'S JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, IT BOTHERS ME, IT KIND OF LIKE,

  • DURING THIS PANDEMIC I HAVE HAD TO BECOME THIS MORNING PERSON

  • WHERE I HAVE TO WAKE EVERYONE UP.

  • I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT BUT THAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY AS A

  • PARENT.

  • AND THE FACT THAT LIKE YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT THIS, USE MY SOCIAL

  • MEDIA TO KIND OF TAKE THESE SWIPES AT THESE COWARDS.

  • I WANT TO DO FOOD JOKES.

  • I WANT TO, YOU KNOW, TALK ABOUT BEING LAZY.

  • I WANT TO ROMANT SIZE THE DORM ANSI OF WHAT I ASPIRE TO.

  • BUT IF NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,

  • IT'S STRANGE.

  • YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE PANDEMIC HAS CHANGED ME COMPLETELY.

  • I AM SOMEBODY WHO RAILS AGAINST VEGETABLES AND THEN DURING THE

  • PANDEMIC I GREW A GARDEN.

  • I AM SOMEBODY WHO CRITICIZED AND MADE FUN OF HIKING BUT DURING

  • THE PANDEMIC IT IS THE MOST SAFE FORM OF EXERCISE OUTSIDE YOU CAN

  • DO.

  • AND YOU CAN DO IT WITH YOUR KIDS.

  • AND YOU KNOW IT'S LIKE I DID FIVE MINUTES ON WINTER

  • ACTIVITIES AND HOW RIDICULOUS THEY ARE AND MADE FUN OF

  • CANADIANS FOR HAVING OUTDOOR FESTIVALS.

  • AND YOU KNOW, IN EARLY DECEMBER I BOUGHT A PAIR OF CROSS COUNTRY

  • SKIS BECAUSE I AM ESSENTIALLY, I'M DISMANTLING MY WHOLE ACT.

  • >> James: HANG ON, WHY WOULD YOU BUY CROSS COUNTRY SKIS.

  • >> BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WAITING OUT THIS PANDEMIC WITH MY

  • FAMILY.

  • AND TO GET OUT AND TO HAVE SOME KIND OF, SOME TIME ALONE.

  • IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT IT IS STRANGE.

  • AND THERE IS SOMETHING PEACEFUL ABOUT IT, HAVE I ONLY DONE IT

  • TWICE.

  • I DID IT AS A TEENAGER AND DES PIESED IT.

  • BUT LIKE I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS, LIKE IF THIS PANDEMIC GOES ON

  • FOR ANOTHER THREE MONTHS I WILL PROBABLY BE A VEGETARIAN.

  • I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

  • >> James: BUT THE CROSS COUNTRY SKIING MAKES NO SENSE TO

  • ME.

  • BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT'S SLOWER THAN WALKING.

  • I FEEL LIKE THE SKIS DOWN HILL I UNDERSTAND.

  • SOMEONE AT ONE POINT WENT WE NEED TO GET DOWN THERE FAST.

  • >> WELL, IF WE SLIDE DOWN ON THESE IT WILL BE FASTER.

  • BUT KRS COUNTRY SKIS IT JUST SEEMS TO ME TO JUST BE GOING-- ,

  • IS EXHAUSTING.

  • >> IT IS THE ELLIPTICAL T IS THE NORDIC TRACK, THAT IS WHAT CROSS

  • COUNTRY SKIING IS, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING KIND OF PEACEFUL AND

  • YOU KNOW, DURING THE PANDEMIC, YOU KNOW, I NORMALLY TRAVEL

  • CONSTANTLY.

  • I'M NORMALLY GOING OUT TO DINNER AFTER A SHOW, THAT IS MY BIG

  • REWARD, EATING 10,000 CALORIES.

  • AND SO I HAVE BEEN KIND OF HEALTHY.

  • AND SO CROSS COUNTRY SKIING IS A GREAT FORM OF EXERCISE.

  • OF COURSE THE SNOW ALL MELTED SO YOU KNOW, WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT

  • MUCH OPPORTUNITY FOR IT BUT IT IS A GOOD FORM OF EXERCISE TOO.

  • BUT I'M LOSING MY MIND.

  • >> James: IT GETS YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE, BECAUSE YOU LIKE I, I

  • HAVE THREE CHILDREN, YOU HAVE FIVE CHILDREN, HOW IS THAT WITH

  • THE ONLINE SCHOOLING?

  • HOW IS THAT GOING IN YOUR HOUSE.

  • >> WE'RE DONE WITH CHRISTMAS BREAK.

  • AND WE'RE DOING DISTANCE LEARNING BECAUSE WE WANTED IT TO

  • BE AS HARD AS POSSIBLE.

  • AND ALSO MY WIFE IS HIGH RISK.

  • AND AS SHE DESCRIBES IT, I'M A FAT OLD GUY, SO I AM HIGH RISK

  • TOO.

  • AND SO IT IS SO ABSURD, LIKE WHEN WE-- WAS HAPPENING I

  • REMEMBER BACK THE PREVIOUS YEARS WHERE IT WAS LAKE ARE THE KIDS

  • GOING TO MAKE IT UP TO MIDNIGHT.