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  • - I think of myself as brave.

  • The Sorting Hat even acknowledged I was.

  • - Ah, what bravery.

  • You'd be great in Gryffindor. - Nope, Slytherin.

  • - Are you sure?

  • You'd fit right in. - Listen,

  • you dusty old headpiece.

  • I look fantastic in emerald green

  • and I was born in 1989,

  • which is the year of the snake,

  • so I am Slytherin and Slytherin only.

  • - Yeah, I think you just proved your point.

  • Slytherin!

  • - And I gave birth to the most courageous creature

  • to grace this earth.

  • (grunting and moaning)

  • - One more push. - You can do it, baby.

  • You can do it.

  • You've got this. (yelling)

  • - His back left leg is detached from his hip,

  • he's prone to bladder infections,

  • and he's got an enlarged heart

  • that will require years of medical attention.

  • - Oh.

  • - Oh my God he's beautiful.

  • What should we name him?

  • - His name is Congress.

  • Congress The Brave.

  • That's his full name, and don't you forget it.

  • My point is I pride myself

  • on identifying as a brave person.

  • And even if I'm afraid, I usually take that as a sign

  • that I should go and do it anyway to be courageous.

  • I mean, I did stand up for like a decade,

  • which I think you know takes a lot of balls

  • to get up on stage and make a total fool of yourself.

  • I'm Japanese Hawaiian so I'm historically self-destructive.

  • (audience moaning and groaning)

  • Wow, too soon.

  • I didn't think that joke would bomb.

  • - Oh my God, geez.

  • - Get off the stage. - Get off the,

  • yeah, go away.

  • - Okay, all right, tough crowd.

  • But no matter how brave we are,

  • I have found that there's one question

  • we are terrified to ask

  • when we're emotionally invested in the answer.

  • It makes us feel so vulnerable,

  • so open to hurt, so terrified and paralyzed,

  • and it is.

  • - So like, what are we?

  • (monitor beeping)

  • - Scalpel.

  • - What are you looking for?

  • (laughing)

  • - Doc, where do you see this going?

  • Where are we headed?

  • What does our future look like?

  • - Gigawatts.

  • - New connection and intimacy leaves us so vulnerable

  • to disappointment and hurt and rejection.

  • So I met someone I really like,

  • I thought he was great at talking about trauma.

  • And we had all these great conversations.

  • He had a great sense of humor.

  • And he seemed to be emotionally available,

  • consistent, reliable, and responsive,

  • which are the telltale signs of secure attachment.

  • Hey, gold flags, anyone?

  • But I am a preoccupied anxious attachment baby girl,

  • which means that when I meet someone

  • and I can see it going somewhere

  • I am now just riddled with full blown anxiety

  • and fear of abandonment.

  • And it triggers all of my deepest insecurities.

  • I was having a panic attack with my therapist,

  • and she said.

  • - What do you think about just asking him

  • where he sees this going?

  • Or if he's looking for a committed relationship?

  • - No, absolutely not.

  • No, I don't wanna do that.

  • What is wrong with you?

  • - Well, maybe-

  • - Do you want me to die?

  • And if you're like me and this stage of intimacy

  • makes you wanna throw up in your mouth,

  • then swallow it back down 'cause you're a champ,

  • I'll relay what the Oracle says.

  • - Having this level of open communication

  • about what you need to feel safe,

  • in this case knowing where something is headed,

  • knowing what's on the table, knowing how someone feels,

  • that's important for the kind of

  • committed relationship you're looking for.

  • And the way that someone responds to that

  • is going to inform you of so much.

  • Because if they say-

  • - I'm looking for someone who will give me

  • all the emotional and physical benefits of a girlfriend

  • without me having any accountability or responsibility

  • to show up as a partner.

  • - That's gonna tell you a lot.

  • Alternatively, they may say something that you wanna hear.

  • - I'm just looking for someone who will

  • go to the courthouse with me right now,

  • lock it down, turn it around,

  • put a ring and a dress on it, baby girl.

  • - I don't know, that's a little too soon.

  • - Something along those lines.

  • Either way, I know it's terrifying to ask for what you need,

  • but that's what this question is.

  • It's getting information you need

  • so you can find the committed relationship

  • you're looking for.

  • - And look, yeah, it's disgusting and terrifying.

  • And I wanna shrivel up and die just thinking about it,

  • but I did it.

  • I did it.

  • I had written this video before I was gonna do it.

  • And then I did it.

  • And I didn't get the answer I wanted.

  • It sucks.

  • But now I don't have to waste my time and energy

  • on someone who doesn't deserve me in their life,

  • or that's what my therapist says anyway.

  • I'll try to believe it.

  • Anyway, yeah, good luck with this question yourself.

  • I'm Anna Akana, and thank you to the patrons

  • who supported today's video

  • and thank you to NordVPN

  • for sponsoring today's episode.

  • As you guys may remember from my

  • Instagram Story meltdowns last month,

  • I was in Canada to film a show,

  • and because of COVID I had to quarantine for two weeks alone

  • and then stay there for the entire duration of filming.

  • And I was incredibly sad that so many

  • of my favorite entertainment platforms were not available,

  • but fret, not my friends, NordVPN lets you access Netflix,

  • Hulu, Prime Video, and HBO Max,

  • no matter where you are in the world.

  • It even worked when I was filming in China,

  • which is incredibly impressive.

  • You can have up to six simultaneous connections

  • with their super fast servers.

  • There's no data logging

  • and double data encryption for increased anonymity.

  • If you ever have an issue

  • they have 24 seven customer support.

  • And I definitely needed that in Canada

  • so I could watch those sweet, sweet NXIVM documentaries.

  • Go to NordVPN.com/Anna and get the special holiday deal.

  • Every purchase of a two-year plan will get you

  • four additional months for free.

  • That's NordVPN.com/Anna,

  • and use code Anna at checkout.

  • Happy New Year, even though we all died in March

  • and 2020's gonna live on.

- I think of myself as brave.

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B1 slytherin nordvpn anna brave courageous baby girl

One question we're all afraid to ask

  • 17 4
    林宜悉 posted on 2020/12/31
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