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  • ♪ ♪

  • ♪ >> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.

  • HE IS A TONY AND EMMY AWARD-WINNER YOU KNOW AS THE

  • HOST OF "THE LATE LATE SHOW" ON CBS.

  • HIS NEW MOVIE IS "THE PROM."

  • PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," JAMES CORDEN!

  • HELLO, JAMES CORDEN.

  • HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> HELLO, STEPHEN.

  • LOOK AT YOU.

  • >> Stephen: THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE, MID SUMMER, JULY, JUNE,

  • SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: YOU WERE IN, AS YOU MIGHT SAY, YOUR GARAGE.

  • >> AS YOU MIGHT SAY, GARAGE.

  • >> Stephen: EXACTLY RIGHT.

  • WE'RE BOTH RIGHT.

  • WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING BACK IN THE STUDIO?

  • WHAT'S THE CHANGE IN THE VIBE FOR YOU?

  • >> WELL, IT DOESN'T SMELL AS MANY FUMES AS IT DID WHEN I WAS

  • IN MY GARAGE, SO IT'S NICE JUST TO SEE PEOPLE AND ALSO --

  • >> Stephen: MY PEOPLE?

  • THERE'S A SMATTERING OF PEOPLE.

  • THERE'S, YOU KNOW, OUR CAMERA CREW, AND WHO ELSE WOULD YOU

  • RATHER LOOK AT?

  • THAT'S THE TRUTH, MARK, PEAT, EVERYBODY, IT'S GORGEOUS.

  • SO IT IS NICE TO BE HERE, IT'S STRANGE.

  • THOUGH I HAVE TO SAY, I'M REALLY GETTING USED TO IT, NOT HAVING

  • AN AUDIENCE AND ALL THOSE THINGS, ARE YOU FINDING THAT OR

  • ARE YOU MISSING AN AUDIENCE?

  • >> Stephen: IN MY MIND, I CAN IMAGINE EVERY JOKE WORKS.

  • >> YOU NEED TO GET ONE OF THESE.

  • I'VE GOT THIS BOX HERE.

  • IF YOU GIVE A JOKE NOW, ANY JOKE >> Stephen: TWO PEANUTS WERE

  • WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND ONE WAS A-SALTED.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> YOU SEE, LOOK AT THAT.

  • ETH ALREADY A WHOLE -- AND IF YOU TOLD A SLIGHTLY RISKY JOKE

  • ABOUT POLITICS, I WOULD BE LIKE --

  • >> OOOH!

  • >> Stephen: WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE OF THESE?

  • IT'S THE 11:30 SHOW.

  • WHY DOES 12:30 HAVE THIS BOX AND I DON'T?

  • I DON'T THE STATUS.

  • THANK YOU, JAMES, YOU GAVE ME SOMETHING TO BE MAD ABOUT.

  • >> THE TRUTH IS IT'S NOT JUST CBS SHOULD HAVE THIS, IT SHOULD

  • BE -- IT SHOULD BE -- >> WOW!

  • ALL THE NETWORKS!

  • >> THAT'S RUDY GIULIANI.

  • I HAVE A SMORGASBORD OF DIFFERENT SOUNDS.

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S THE ACTUAL RUDY GIULIANI.

  • >> OUTSIDE FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING, YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: CHRISTMAS, MY FRIEND, IS BUT A FEW WEEKS AWAY.

  • I DON'T KNOW IF WE WERE GOING TO DISCUSS THIS BUT MY EXPERIENCE

  • WITH CHRISTMAS IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY IS THAT IT'S

  • EXTRAORDINARY.

  • YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO DO IT.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: ON A LEVEL, AT LEAST YOU EMBRACE IT ON A LEVEL

  • THAT WE JUST DON'T.

  • WE THINK THAT WE PUT OUT THE LIGHTS AND GET OUR FOG ON BUT

  • YOU GUYS TAKE IT WAY MORE SERIOUSLY THAN WE DO.

  • DO YOU HAVE DEEP AND ABIDING FAMILY TRADITIONS YOU HAVE TO DO

  • EVERY YEAR?

  • I JUST HAD KATE WINSLET ON AND THEY SAID THEY DO THE WHOLE

  • FIGGY PUDDING HARD SAUCE AND EVERYTHING.

  • DO YOU DO THAT.

  • >> WE DON'T DO THE SAUCE BUT I AGREE THAT BRITAIN IS A

  • PARTICULARLY BEAUTIFUL TIME AT CHRISTMAS.

  • I THINK ONE OF THE REASONS, WE DON'T HAVE THANKSGIVING.

  • SO MY BIGGEST MYSTERY IS WHY ANYONE CHOSE TO PUT THANKSGIVING

  • JUST THREE WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

  • LIKE, I WOULD HAVE SPREAD THAT OUT.

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHOSE FAULT THAT IS, HONEST TO GOD?

  • IT'S ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S, HE DECLARED THE FIRST THANKSGIVING.

  • >> THAT'S ENOUGH TO FORGET HIS WHOLE PRESIDENCY.

  • WHAT ELSE DID HE DO?

  • I MEAN, COME ON.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT DO THE KIDS WANT THIS YEAR?

  • THEY WON'T BE WATCHING.

  • WHAT IS THE BEST GIFT BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE YOUNG ONES AT

  • CHRISTMASTIME.

  • MINE ARE LIKE 6-2 AND COULD BENCH ME.

  • THEY'RE HUGE NOW.

  • WHAT DO THE LITTLE ONES WANT THIS YEAR.

  • THE BABY YODA, SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

  • >> MY SON WHO IS 9 WANTS MUSIC EQUIPMENT, HE'S REALLY INTO THE

  • GUITAR AND DRUMS, SO HE'S AFTER THINGS LIKE A LOOP PEDAL, WHICH

  • I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO.

  • I THINK THAT'S A GREAT GIFT.

  • AND MY DAUGHTERS, IT'S, YOU KNOW, ALL OF THE SORT OF SIMILAR

  • KIND OF JoJo SEE WA.

  • >> Stephen: I'VE HEARD THE NAME BUT I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH.

  • IT'S ON ME THAT I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THAT.

  • >> I ENVY YOU GREATLY.

  • >> Stephen: YOU DID A TRUMP PARODY OF MAYBE I'M AMAZED AT

  • THE PIANO.

  • IT WAS -- NOT ONLY WAS IT FUNNY, BUT IT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFULLY

  • DONE.

  • I REALLY ADMIRED YOUR JOB WITH THAT.

  • IT WAS REALLY FANTASTIC.

  • IT WAS CALLED "MAYBE I'M IMMUNE" FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T

  • WATCH IT.

  • GO TO CBS ALL ACCESS AND WATCH IT.

  • IT'S VERY REASONABLY PRICED FOR A MONTHLY MEMBERSHIP, YOU KNOW.

  • BUT I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT A VERY SPECIAL CALL SHORTLY THEREAFTER.

  • >> I DID.

  • THAT'S THE GREATEST THING ABOUT MAKING THESE SHOWS WE MAKE NOW

  • IS YOU PUT SOMETHING OUT THERE, AND IT LIVES, THEN, FOR THE NEXT

  • DAY TORE THE NEXT WEEK OR HOWEVER LONG PEOPLE FIND IT AND

  • TALK ABOUT THINGS AND THE NEXT DAY PAUL McCARTNEY CALLED ME,

  • WHICH IS AMAZING, AN AMAZING MOMENT IN ITSELF FOR ANYBODY.

  • >> Stephen: YOU CAN STOP THE STORY RIGHT THERE AND IT WOULD

  • BE PRETTY GOOD.

  • I REALIZE THAT.

  • PLEASE GO ON.

  • >> BECAUSE HE SAID HE JUST REALLY ENJOYED IT AND HE REALLY

  • LIKED IT.

  • WE WERE TALKING AND HE SAID HE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE

  • GOT SENT THE YouTube LINK ON A TEXT FROM WILLIE NELSON, WHICH I

  • WAS, LIKE, WELL THAT'S IT NOW, I'VE PEAKED, THE REST IS

  • DOWNHILL FROM THAT.

  • >> Stephen: HOW DID WILLIE GET IT?

  • WELL, BARBRA STREISAND SENT IT TO HIM.

  • >> I LIKE THE IDEA OF WILLIE NELSON COPYING AND PASTING A

  • YouTube LINK INTO A TEXT.

  • I LOVE IT.

  • >> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, YOUR CAR POOL KARAOKE WITH SIR PAUL

  • IS EXTRAORDINARY, AND I THINK 4.2 BILLION PEOPLE HAVE SEEN IT

  • AT THIS POINT, BUT YOU HAD A HISTORY WITH HIM BEFORE THAT, I

  • UNDERSTAND.

  • YOU ACTUALLY WORKED WITH HIM ON A CHARITY EVENT.

  • >> WE DID A SKETCH, IT WAS A REALLY BIG COMEDY NIGHT IN

  • BRITAIN, HAPPENS EVERY TWO YEARS FOR COMIC RELIEF.

  • IN FACT, THE SKETCH THAT PAUL WAS IN WAS ACTUALLY THE KIND OF

  • SKETCH THAT WE USED AS THE KIND OF JUMPING OFF POINT FOR CAR

  • POOL KARAOKE, IN A WAY.

  • IT STARTED A CHARACTER I HAD WRITTEN IN A SITCOM WAS SINGING

  • IN A CAR WITH GEORGE MICHAEL.

  • THE WAY TO GET THE SKETCHES IS THERE'S PRIME MINISTER IN THE

  • SKETCH AND KAREN NIGHTLY AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE BUT THE WAY TO GET

  • THE SKETCHES TOGETHER IS YOU GO AND GET THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON

  • AND THEN EVERYBODY ELSE WILL FALL IN LINE.

  • SO IN BRITAIN THAT'S PAUL McCARTNEY, THEN THE EX-PRIME

  • MINISTER AND THEN EVERYBODY AFTER THAT.

  • I NEVER MET PAUL BUT WE ARRANGED A TIME TO SPEAK ON THE PHONE,

  • AND I HAD MY WHOLE PITCH READY BECAUSE, LOOK, HE'S PAUL

  • McCARTNEY.

  • HE DOES DON'T THESE THINGS KIND OF RANDOMLY, THEY'RE ALL VERY

  • PRECISE AND THOUGHT ABOUT.

  • I EXPLAINED THE SKETCH THAT HE WAS THE BIG REVEAL AT THE END OF

  • THE SKETCH.

  • I SAID THIS CHARITY IS RAISING MONEY ON THIS FRIDAY NIGHT TO

  • GET A -- TO PAY FOR A VACCINE FOR CHILDREN TO PREVENT THEM

  • GETTING MALARIA, AND THAT VACCINE COSTS $4, AND AFTER THIS

  • SKETCH GOES OUT, PEOPLE CAN DOWNLOAD AND BUY THIS SKETCH FOR

  • THE EQUIVALENT OF $4.

  • AND, SO, WHETHER YOU WANT TO ADMIT IT OR DON'T WANT TO ADMIT

  • IT, THAT IT'S A FACT THAT, IF YOU DO THIS SKETCH, SOME

  • CHILDREN WON'T DIE, BUT IT'S UP TO YOU.

  • AND HE WENT, BLOODY, OH, JAMES, I'VE HEARD SOME PITCHES IN MY

  • TIME.

  • I SAID, THAT'S NOTHING, MY WIFE WAS PREGNANT AT THE TIME AND MY

  • NEXT THING WAS TO SAY IF YOU SAID NO TO THAT, I WAS GOING TO

  • SAY I WOULD NAME MY UNBORN SON AFTER YOU.

  • HE SAID, DONE, I WILL DO THE SKETCH IF YOU DO THAT.

  • WE DID THE SKETCH.

  • A FEW MONTHS LATER, AND MY SON WAS BORN AND WE NAMED HIM MAX

  • McCARTNEY CORDON.

  • CORDEN.

  • I SENT PAUL A PICTURE AND HE SAID I WAS JOKING.

  • THREE DAYS LATER, AND THIS IS A MEASURE OFO WHAT KIND OF MAN HE

  • IS, THIS BEAUTIFUL SORT OF CASHMERE BLANKET ARRIVED AND

  • EMBROIDERED IN THE CORNER IT SAYS "TO MAX, FROM ONE

  • McCARTNEY TO ANOTHER, LOVE YOUR UNCLE PAUL."

  • AND I WAS, LIKE, OH, MY GOD.

  • IT'S ASTONISHING, HE ALWAYS KNOWS HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL

  • GREAT.

  • HE DOES.

  • >> Stephen: JAMES, WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.

  • YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES.

  • STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.

  • WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK JAMES ABOUT THE RUMORED

  • LEGENDARY CAT'S BUTT HOLE CUT.

  • YOU THINK I'M KIDDING BUT I'M GOING TO.

♪ ♪

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