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  • BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, IT IS THE FIRST NIGHT OF HANNAH

  • HANUKKAH, SO HAPPY HANUKKAH TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE.

  • I CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS BUT IN HONOR OF HANUKKAH TODAY I LISS I

  • COMPROMISED AND LISTENED TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC BY NEIL DIAMOND.

  • I LOVE HANUKKAH, IT IS THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS.

  • YOU KNOW, WE HONOR THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTEDS, THE LIGHTS, THE

  • FESTIVAL LIGHTS.

  • YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT-- I DON'T KNOW A MASSIVE-- IAN, HELP ME

  • OUT.

  • I DON'T KNOW A HUGE AMOUNT ABOUT IT.

  • >> YOU ARE PRETTY CLOSE.

  • >> James: YEAH?

  • >> YEAH, ANCIENT ISRAEL WAS OCCUPIED BY A GREEK SYRIAN

  • EMPIRE LED BY KING-- WHO DIDN'T LET US PRACTICE OUR RELIGION AND

  • WANTED US TO WORSHIP THE GREEK GOD SO THEY DES CRATED OUR TERP

  • EL AND THEN LIKE A BUNCH OF JEWS WENT UP TO THE HILLS AND LEAD BY

  • THIS GUY MACABEE JUST POPPED DOWN AND STARTED WASTING THEM

  • UNTIL THEY LEFT AND WE WENT DOWN TO THE TERCH EL AND WERE LIKE

  • OH, MAN THERE IS ONLY OIL FOR ONE DAY AND IT LASTED FOR EIGHT

  • DAYS SO IT IS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT LIGHT AND A LOT ABOUT US DOING

  • CALL OF [BLEEP] IN THIS.

  • >> James: THAT RESPONSE WAS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT, WE MIGHT

  • HAVE TO CANCEL MEGAN THEE STALLION.

  • LET'S LOOK AT HEADLINES.

  • WE HAVE EXCITING NEWS TO REPORT.

  • AT LONG LAST ALL 50 STATES HAVE NOW CERTIFIED THEIR ELECTION

  • RESULTS OR AS TRUMP CALLS IT, NO, THEY DIDN'T.

  • WEST VIRGINIA BECAME THE FINAL STATE TO CERTIFY THEIR ELECTION.

  • THEY MADE IT OFFICIAL LAST NIGHT.

  • WEST VIRGINIA IS BASICALLY LIKE THAT FRIEND WHO RS-- RSVP'S THE

  • DAY BEFORE YOUR WEDDING JUST TO MAKE IT ABOUT THEM AM YOU KNOW,

  • BUT THIS IS BIG NEWS.

  • EVERY STATE NOW IS CERTIFIED AND AMAZINGLY STEER KORNACKI REFUSED

  • TO STOP REPORTING RESULT UNTIL IT WAS ALWAYS OFFICIAL.

  • HE GOT A PHOTO HERE AT THE END OF HIM AT THE END OF HIS WORKING

  • DAY.

  • OF COURSE JOE BIED EVERYONE IS ALREADY MAKING PLANS TO MOVE

  • INTO THE WHITE HOUSE NEXT MONTH AND TODAY IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT

  • BIDEN PLANS TO QUOALT THOROUGHLY CLEAN AND DISINEFFECT ALL

  • FURNITURE, DOOR NOBODIES AND LIGHT SWIMPS BEFORE HIS HE AND

  • HIS TEAM MOVES IN.

  • TO BE FAIR HE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT CORONAVIRUS OR NOT.

  • I DON'T REALLY SEE THIS AS A BIG STORY.

  • I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANYBODY GO OH, WE JUST GOT THE KEYS TO OUR

  • NEW PLACE.

  • OH, CONGRATS, YOU CLOSED, YEAH, GOT THE KEYS, WE'RE NOT GOING TO

  • CLEAN T WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO IN.

  • WHAT DO YOU LIKE ON THE CLEANLINESS, HOW ARE YOU ON

  • CLEANLINESS?

  • >> Reggie: WELL, I GREW UP WITH MY MOTHER AS A HOUSECLEANER

  • FOR THE AIR FORCE BASE, SO SHE HAD TO DO WHITE GLOVE

  • INSPECTIONS, SO MY HOUSE GETS CLEANED TWICE A WEEK.

  • >> James: OH, GOOD FOR YOU.

  • I BOUGHT MY PARENTS-- WE NEVER HAD TO CLEAN, I BOUGHT MY

  • PARENTS A CLEANER TO GO IN THREE DAYS A WEEK.

  • I THOUGHT JUST TAKE THE LOAD OFF MY MUM, I GOT NEM A CLEANER.

  • AND MY MOM CLEANED UP BEFORE THE CLEANER CAME.

  • BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT THE CLEANERS TO THINK THAT SHE WAS

  • MUKY AND DIRTY.

  • AND I WAS LIKE.

  • >> I DO THAT TOO.

  • >> James: THEN MUM, THAT IS REALLY JUST A WASTE OF MY.

  • >> I DON'T WANT THEM COME IN THE HOUSE, THE DISHES AND YOU KNOW

  • SWRZ WELL, WHAT IS SHE DOING THEN, JUST COMING IN AND SORT OF

  • WANDERING AROUND THE HOUSE.

  • >> I REALLY LIKE TO, WE HAD COFFEE THE OTHER DAY AND SHE

  • HEADED OUTLINING-- TRUE, THEY'RE DISINFECTING EVERYONE.

  • I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS TO DONALD AND MELANIA'S OLD BEDK SORRY LET

  • ME DO THAT AGAIN, I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS TO DONALD AND MELANIA'S

  • TWO BEDS.

  • IT IS A BIG JOB SHOW THOUGH, A BIG JOB THOUGH, HERE IS HOW FAR

  • BIDEN IS TAKING IT, HIS NEW SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR WILL

  • BE ONE OF THE SCRUBBING BUBBLES.

  • I GOT TO LEVEL WITH YOU, AMERICA, THAT IS A REFERENCE I

  • KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

  • >> Reggie: NICE.

  • >> James: I HAVE NO IDEA.

  • I WENT ALONG WITH IT THROUGH THE MONO, SOMEONE WITH THE GRAPHIC,

  • THEY SHOWED ME THE GRAPHIC.

  • I'M SEEING THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME.

  • WHAT ARE THE SCRUBBING BUBBLES.

  • >> IT IS ANOTHER HANUKKAH THING.

  • >> James: GOOD NAME FOR A BAND THOUGH.

  • >> OH, SCRUBBING BUBBLES.

  • >> SCUBIN BUBBLES BUT WITHOUT A G, SCRUBIN BUBBLES.

  • >> PUFFY HAD A BAND CALLED FUZZ BUBBLE ONCE.

  • >> James: WHO DID.

  • >> PUFF, A BAND I AUDITIONED FOR ONCE, IT WAS CALLED FUZZ BUBBLE.

  • >> James: FUZZ BUBBLE, WHAT IS IT LIKE AS AN AUDITION FOR A

  • DRUMMER.

  • I GET IF YOU ARE A SINGER YOU SING A SONG, IF YOU ARE A

  • GUITAR, I GOT THIS.

  • BA BA BOUN.

  • I GET TRK HI, I PLACE-BASE, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT.

  • YOU KNOW, LIKE KEYBOARDS.

  • DRUMS, YOU JUST LIKE-- AND THEY GO WELL THAT'S NOT VERY

  • GOOD, WELL, YOU CAN'T HEAR THE REST OF THE SONG.

  • >> I THINK IT'S BEST TO JUST TRY TO BE AS SUPPORTIVE AS POSSIBLE

  • TO EVERYONE ELSE AND TO TRY TO HIGHLIGHT YOUR VERSATILITY AS

  • MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

  • AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

  • >> James: WELL, I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE HERE TO SAY

  • WE WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU WOULD DO THAT HERE ONE DAY.

  • (LAUGHTER) >> I WILL TRY, I WILL TRY.

  • >> I WILL CONTINUE TO TRY.

  • >> James: NOW DOES EVERYBODY REMEMBER THE WOMAN WHO WENT

  • VIRAL BECAUSE OF HER TESTIMONY AT THE HEARING IN MICHIGAN LAST

  • WEEK?

  • IF YOU DON'T HERE SAY QUICK REMINDER.

  • >> I KNOW WHAT I SAW.

  • AND I SIGNED SOMETHING SAYING THAT IF I AM WRONG, CAN I GO TO

  • PRISON.

  • DID YOU?

  • >> James: WELL, THAT LADY IS MELISSA CARONE AND WE HAVE AN

  • UPDATE, APPARENTLY IF THE SUPREME COURT DECIDES TO HEAR

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP'S LAST DITCH ELECTION-- TRUMP SAID HE WANTS

  • HER TO APPEAR AS A WITNESS AGAINST, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT

  • WENT SO WELL LAST TIME.

  • NOW HERE'S THE THING.

  • THERE ARE NO WITNESSES IN THE SUPREME COURT HEARINGS AM BUT I

  • FEEL LIKE A BRITISH LATE NIGHT HOST SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN

  • THAT TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

  • THE SINCE HER VIRAL APPEARANCE HAS COME OUT MELISSA CARONE HAS

  • HAD TROUBLE WITH THE LAW IN THE PAST AND WAS ONCE A PERFORMER AT

  • THE BADA BINGE STRIP CLUB BUT LET'S NOT BRING THE BADA BINGE

  • STRIP CLUB THROUGH THE MUD BY ASSOCIATES IT WITH RUDY

  • I LIKE THE IDEA THAT IF SHE TESTIFIES THAT SHE WILL GET TO

  • THE STAND, OKAY, COMING TO THE STAND, PLEASE WELCOME THE ALWAYS

  • ENCHANTING, IT'S MELISSA.

  • MOVING ON, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS, A LIST WAS JUST

  • RELEASED OF 2020'S MOST MISPRONOUNCED WORDS.

  • APPARENTLY THE WORDS MOST COMMONLY MISS PRONOUNED THIS

  • AREA WERE FAUCI, KAMALA AND DA VINCI A AND SPECIFICALLY THE WAY

  • THAT I SAY KHAKIS.

  • NOW, I UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEANK YOU THINK I JUST

  • SAID KHAKI, WE CALL KHAKI, THAT TO ME THAT IS WHAT STEVE

  • KORNACKI WEARS YOU CALL THEM CABBINGEES, THAT IS

  • RIGHT-- KHAKIS.

  • >> WHAT IF LIKE YOUR WIFE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HER CAR KEYS

  • ARE AND SHE LEFT THEM IN HRKAC KHAKIS.

  • >> WELL, I THINK I HAD ENOUGH FORESIGHT TO NOT, YOU KNOW,

  • MARRY A LIFE PARTNER WHO WOULD WEAR CAR-KEY-- KHAKIS BUT FAUCI,

  • KAMALA AND DA VINCI, I DON'T WANT TO POINT FINGERS AT ANYONE

  • WHO MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THOSE MISPRONOUNCE YAITIONS THIS

  • YEAR BUT I DO THINK-- DA VINCI-- PLAYED A PART IN IT.

  • A LIST OF WORDS THAT AMERICANS MOST COMMONLY MISPRONOUNCE.

  • BUT AS A BRIT, WHO SPEAKS THE QUEEN'S ENGLISH, I MUST SAY, 90%

  • OF WORDS THAT YOU SPEAK IN AMERICA ARE MISPRONOUNCED, OKAY.

  • LIKE LET'S DO A LITTLE QUIZ, OKAY, IAN, REG, I WILL SHOW YOU

  • SOMETHING AND YOU SAY WHAT IT IS.

  • OKAY.

  • SO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, THIS, DO YOU KNOW, LIKE WHAT IS THAT.

  • >> YAG-HURT.

  • >> YOA GUTTER.

  • >> James: ARE YOU RIGHT, A YOGHURT.

  • >> ALL RIGHT.

  • >> I KNOW I'M IN THE EATING IT SO.

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT BHARKS ABOUT THIS ONE.

  • >> ZEBRA.

  • >> James: YES, IAN.

  • >> A ZEBRA.

  • >> James: IT A ZEBRA.

  • >> WE CALL IT JAZZ HOSER.

  • -- HORSE.

  • >> James: THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF PUFFY'S BAND, WASN'T IT, JAZZ

  • HORSE.

  • >> James: YES, AND FINALLY ONLY ONE LATE NIGHT SHOW FRANKLY

  • HIT COURAGE TO BRING YOU THIS NEXT STORY, KUNG FU EXPERTS IN

  • CENTRAL CHINESE FILLAGE ARE TRYING TO SAVE A TRADITION THAT

  • THEY ARE CONCERNED IS QUICKLY FADING AWAY, IT'S KNOWN AS IRON

  • CROTCH KUNG FU.

  • TAKE A LOOK, YOU MIGHT FIGURE OUT WHY.

  • (LAUGHTER) I MEAN THAT IS NUTS.

  • IF I HAD TO GUESS I THINK THE ART FORM MIGHT BE DYING OUT

  • BECAUSE NONE OF THESE GUYS CAN PROCREATE.

  • HOW DO YOU EVEN DISCOVER THAT YOU ARE GOOD AT THIS?

  • I THINK SOMEONE DID IT ACCIDENTALLY AND THEY ARE WORK

  • WALKING THROUGH AND THEY ARE LIKE NO, IT IS FUNNING IF YOU

  • CROTCH, IT WORKS FEAT BECAUSE THE MASTERS OF THIS TRADITION

  • ARE GETTING PRETTY DE PRESSED ABOUT THE LACK OF INTEREST IN

  • THIS SPORT.

  • THE GUYS ARE WALKING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF SAD SACKS.

  • BUT TO HELP RAISE AWARENESS THEY ARE ACTUALLY MAKING A MOVIE

  • ABOUT THAT GUY, IT'S CALLED CROTCHING TIGER, BALLS ARE

  • DRAGIN.

BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, IT IS THE FIRST NIGHT OF HANNAH

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Biden Is Planning a White House Deep Clean

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/12/15
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