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  • Whenever I have a crush on someone, I instantly become detectives.

  • You heard me.

  • I become several detectives.

  • The most transaction history indicates lives.

  • Relationship is at least a year old, and they live together.

  • Linked in profile shows no more than three months.

  • Gaps between jobs, upward mobility and consistency are evidence.

  • Bingo Bango found their old address really how the transaction history revealed ex Girlfriend's name, which led to her instagram when she posted several photos inside of an apartment that they shared, which had four consecutive window walls facing the West based on the timeline of his linked and he lived in Echo Park at the time.

  • So I looked up Zillow and Redfin listings for that area and search window walls looked at the interior photos of those listings and bam previous addresses.

  • 123 Future Street.

  • Uh huh.

  • Now I know this example seems like I'm exaggerating for the sake of comedy, but I'm not.

  • I am incredibly good at stalking to the point that several of my friends will come to me when they're dating someone new as a preliminary background check.

  • And I know I'm not the only one who is like this.

  • Several of my girlfriends could be moonlighting as private investigators.

  • We all have this knack for finding things that are not readily available in a typical Google search.

  • And recently I was wondering if this quality makes me a bad person.

  • So of course I did what I always do when I hate an aspect of myself.

  • I go to my therapist and for the record, my therapist is the queen of reframing.

  • If I say I'm too sensitive, she challenges you're compassionate.

  • If I'm use that have too many feelings, she proposes.

  • You have emotional depth.

  • Oh, yeah, well, I'm aggressive or assertive and overshare vulnerable Internet stock like a mother flat makes you hyper vigilant, actually, quite like a detective.

  • I've never felt more scene.

  • Now I do want to clarify.

  • She has explicitly stated that I will never do the disservice of just being a cheerleader.

  • It doesn't serve either of us for me to just blindly validate you when I see areas toe work on our blind spots that you may need to be aware of.

  • We will consciously work on that, and any good therapist will have the same viewpoint.

  • They should not be there just cheer you on blindly while you engage in bad behavior.

  • But she illuminated something about my stocking.

  • For me, hyper vigilance is a survival mechanism developed in Children in order to help them make friends and fit in.

  • Since you came from a military family and your environment change so frequently, you needed to be able to read a room to make friends quickly to fit into new cultures, to survive in your family honor that it helped you.

  • Okay, she just, like, blows my mind constantly because one of the biggest revelations she's given me is that every part of yourself that you may hate or that you think it's too much or that feels broken.

  • It exists because it was a survival mechanism you had as a kid.

  • And the great thing is, once we're aware of that, we can let it go or use it in a more healthy way.

  • Soto, all of your fellow detectives out there now we know we are detectives because of childhood trauma or just regular trauma.

  • We either needed to be detectives to survive, or we've been hurt before and are now trying to protect ourselves.

  • But what about you.

  • What qualities do you have that could use?

  • Um, reframing?

  • Tell me all about your childhood trauma.

  • In the comments below, I'm Anaconda and thank you to privacy for sponsoring today's video.

  • If you're introverted like myself, you may spend a lot of time shopping online.

  • And if you do a lot of shopping online, you've probably had your identity stolen a few times literally.

  • Last month I found fraudulent charges and had to cancel my card.

  • Re enroll in all my auto payments, and I was like, This is enough is enough.

  • This happens to me so much, but that is where privacy comes in.

  • Privacy allows you to generate a brand new virtual card number for every single purchase that you make online.

  • Protecting your actual card number from hackers and identity thieves.

  • The service is easy to set up, has military grade encryption does not sell your information, and they make their money from merchants, making it completely free for you to use.

  • You could make a many cards as you want and set maximum spending limits for each of them.

  • It's super easy.

  • There are only two steps to getting the perks of privacy.

  • One create an account to, like a checking account or debit card.

  • Bingo Bango, baby, you are done if you wanna make the process even faster when you're shopping, you can also install a browser extension.

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Whenever I have a crush on someone, I instantly become detectives.

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Why Girls Are Detectives

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/12/15
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