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  • Happy dysfunctional family day.

  • So this year, because of COVID,

  • I'm sure a lot of us are doing Zoomsgiving.

  • ("Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" by Mozart)

  • (all clamoring)

  • But even if it wasn't the end of times,

  • I'm not sure I would be seeing my family anyway.

  • Two turkey years ago, I got into a crazy fight with my dad.

  • - I know.

  • Anna, come join the family for fun.

  • - Dad, I told you that my Inuyasha episode

  • is gonna be done in 15 minutes and I'll join you then.

  • - The family is at the table now,

  • ready to have fun and play poker.

  • Come join us.

  • - Well then maybe you should have listened

  • to me two minutes ago and then walked over

  • in 17 minutes because then I would be there.

  • - You're gonna come over here and you're

  • gonna play Texas Hold 'Em with your brother

  • and your mother--

  • - Dad, I'm hanging out with my boyfriend right now.

  • - Don't you wanna be close to your family?

  • - My therapist says you can either be close to your family,

  • or you can be happy.

  • So I spent last Thanksgiving with my friends

  • and their family.

  • And you know, I think the holidays are really hard

  • 'cause we go back to our most primal dynamic.

  • I don't know about you,

  • but when I'm with my family for any extended period of time,

  • I revert back into being a full on teenager.

  • Last year, because of our fight,

  • I had the pleasure of viewing

  • my friend's family's dysfunction and it was fascinating.

  • So first off, my best friends are identical twins

  • and they're are Indian and Argentinian,

  • So not only can their own family sometimes

  • not tell them apart, but they also love

  • to push the Asian agenda.

  • - Melissa, congratulations on your marriage.

  • - Oh, I'm Melissa.

  • - Oh, Melissa, congratulations on your marriage.

  • Michelle, are you still single?

  • - Nope, Auntie, I've been dating someone

  • for years, actually.

  • - (gasps) But not married.

  • - Nope. Not married, Auntie.

  • - (sighs) Melissa, no children.

  • - No, I never wanted children, Auntie.

  • I never did and never will.

  • - (sighs) And you're both still not doctors?

  • - Nope, we're artists, Auntie.

  • - Ah, so you must be starving then.

  • Oh, come eat up.

  • Eat up, you pathetic, childless, poor, starving girls.

  • Come, but don't eat too much.

  • I don't want you getting plump.

  • - Well, Happy Thanksgiving. - Happy Thanksgiving.

  • - It was great seeing you. - So good seeing you,

  • once a year, yeah.

  • - And watching all these familiar dynamics play out

  • in front of me, that wasn't personal to me,

  • was really eye-opening.

  • I was like, "Wow, it's like they have

  • the same cast of characters from my family."

  • They have the self-appointed leader of fun.

  • - Hello everyone and now it's time for karaoke.

  • Everyone will sing the songs in the order I have chosen them

  • and the songs I have chosen.

  • Melissa, Desperado by the Eagles.

  • Maddie, Single Ladies by Beyonce.

  • Anna, I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.

  • Shouldn'ta ditched us last year for your boyfriend.

  • Good luck.

  • - The incredibly conservative aunt.

  • - Now let us bow our head and pray as a family.

  • As a family that believes marriage

  • is between a man and a woman, Regina,

  • and who believes children should have more children, Cody.

  • And that those children should become doctors

  • and lawyers and not artists, Maria.

  • Otherwise they will live in shame, amen.

  • - The relative so old you're not sure

  • if they're sleeping or if they're dead.

  • (suspicious music)

  • - Oh my god, I'll give him CPR!

  • He's okay, guys, it's okay, he's fine.

  • Yeah, I, no, you're good.

  • - The cousin clearly suffering from mental illness.

  • - Guys blizzard people are here.

  • They have infiltrated the government.

  • They are gonna destroy the world as we know it,

  • the apocalypse is nigh.

  • - Well actually, maybe that cousin knows something

  • that we don't cause that all

  • feels really highly accurate right now, doesn't it?

  • And after seeing my friends' Thanksgiving,

  • I felt pretty good.

  • And I was like, "Wow, every family

  • has their own dysfunction."

  • And I think that's normal.

  • Maybe idealistic nuclear families exist somewhere,

  • where everyone gets along and laughs

  • and no one fights during their Monopoly games

  • that they've been forced to play.

  • But I don't think so.

  • And also there's really no point in wishing that I had that

  • 'cause family is the first thing we get born into

  • where we have no control.

  • We only get the joy of navigating whatever has been dealt.

  • So for this Thanksgiving,

  • pretty sure not gonna see my family

  • and pretty thankful for that.

  • (snaps)

  • I'm Anna Akana and thank you to the Patreons

  • who supported today's video.

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  • Happy Turkey Day.

Happy dysfunctional family day.

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B1 family melissa auntie thanksgiving privacy anna

I'm not spending thanksgiving with my family

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/29
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