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-Like I said, one of our guests tonight is Colin Quinn,
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the great Colin Quinn,
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and he has a book out called "Overstated"
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where he basically roasts every state in the U.S.
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It's funny, and you can just read it in any order.
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It's a good book.
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Well, I wanted to put him to the test,
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so now it's time for "Overstated with Colin Quinn."
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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-♪ Overstated, overstated, overstated, overstated ♪
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♪ Yeah ♪
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-Colin, Colin, are you there?
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Oh, I see you. -Oh, yes.
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-Wow, yeah.
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Colin, I thought we could go through some states
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and you can give them a quick roasting.
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Does that sound okay? -Sure.
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-First of all, how are you doing?
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Are you okay?
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-Oh, I don't know why you would --
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You should have said that before...
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-I know, I know, I know, I know. I understand.
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I know, but I -- I admit -- Sorry.
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-Hey, you just started this.
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-I know, but it wasn't on the teleprompter.
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But, yeah, you look good. I hope you're okay.
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-Oh, it wasn't on the teleprompter.
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-It's not about being a big shot.
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That's the way it works.
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Acting like I'm trying to --
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-No, I wasn't calling you a big shot.
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I was saying -- I was making a dumb joke that,
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"It wasn't on the teleprompter. I couldn't read it."
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[ Laughter ]
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Sorry. -Oh, my God.
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I guess we started with the first roast already.
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Oh, my gosh.
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How about this, Colin? Arizona.
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What could you say about Arizona?
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-I call them the Instagram state
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'cause they're beautiful but empty.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Applause ]
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-How about -- How about Ohio?
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-Ohio's like the middle, like the nice --
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They're like your nice friend that waits in the car
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while you're hooking up with somebody in the house.
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They'll sit there and wait to drive you home.
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[ Laughter ]
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-Florida.
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-Florida's the hot mess that you want to hang out with
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but you always end up getting arrested with them.
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[ Laughter ]
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-Okay, last state. Pennsylvania.
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-I don't want to do Pennsylvania
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'cause you're gonna feel like it's an attack on you,
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but it's not.
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-Why?
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-Alright, I'll do it. But don't be paranoid, okay?
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My joke is, it's a state that kind of, like, started,
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it almost fell apart, then it came back strong.
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You might call it like the "Fever Pitch" of states,
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I call it. That's the nickname.
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[ Laughter ]
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I didn't make up that nickname. That's the state nickname.
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It's on the license plate.
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-Why would I even do this?
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How do I not take that personally?
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How do I not take that personally?
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How do I not take that personally?
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Give it up for Colin Quinn, everybody.