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  • Here we are, gang.

  • This is it.

  • Election Eve.

  • The big day is finally here in, like, what?

  • 20 minutes?

  • It'll be election day.

  • I don't think I could take it Honestly.

  • I was listening to the radio on the way in.

  • In the car away they were talking about was the election.

  • I had to turn it off.

  • You know what I listened to three times?

  • Back to back.

  • True story.

  • Mariah Carey's All I want for Christmas is Geo.

  • I'm not joking.

  • I listened to it the whole ride in during a midnight rally in Florida last night.

  • When the issue of co vid on Dr Fauci came up, the crowd chanted Fire pfoutch e on.

  • Then Trump hinted that he may just do that.

  • E don't tell anybody, but let me wait till a little bit after the election.

  • So there we have it.

  • Donald Trump won't listen to the nation's top infectious disease expert, but he will listen to the chance of an angry mob.

  • I mean, trump spaces like once, I don't have to worry about reelection.

  • I'm really gonna this whole thing up.

  • On a rally this afternoon in Pennsylvania, Trump talked about athletes not standing for the national anthem and how the n ba ratings dropped this year on.

  • He used the opportunity to take a shot at LeBron James, after which the crowd started chanting LeBron James sucks.

  • Lot of craft.

  • You just know there's at least one guy in that crowd who's a legitimate basketball fan.

  • Like guys.

  • I was with you on fire.

  • Bounty.

  • I was here four years ago, shouting Lock her up!

  • You know I'm with you on hunters emails, but this is a bridge too far.

  • He's the greatest of his generation.

  • But this is just what the American voters need to hear.

  • The day before the election, the president name dropping various celebrities job Every time I see it kisses my ass.

  • Oh, Mr President.

  • Enough to be that guy.

  • You see that guy with like you ever been jump on Joey's and ask, Is that okay, Dave?

  • What did you just shout?

  • I don't know.

  • I'm just I'm caught up in it.

  • I kind of feel like that guy has been sitting on that for a while.

  • Yeah, Yeah, I like the music, but that guy kiss his ass.

  • E always got Lady Gaga, lady gaga.

  • It's not today, Trump said.

  • Lady Gaga is not good, but here's the pink in 2000 and 10, Trump tweeted.

  • I saw a Lady Gaga last night and she was fantastic.

  • And I think that's Big Reverend when I say the thought of Trump dancing at a Lady Gaga concert is incredibly disturbing.

  • You can, right?

  • Okay, I love, I do.

  • I do like and I do respect that.

  • He only dances from the waist up.

  • There is zero leg movement in any.

  • Even when he does that one.

  • You know that one.

  • Nothing from the waist down.

  • And he's like, I know this is weird, but if I move the legs, I could look stupid.

  • Trump really attacked everyone today.

  • LeBron James Bond Jovi and, of course, is most hated rival of all LeBron Jodi.

  • Just this afternoon, the Trump campaign went ahead and unilaterally claimed victory in several states.

  • Donald Trump tweeted.

  • Additionally, we hereby claim the state of Michigan.

  • Now you know it's serious when he's using hereby thighs.

  • This is formal legal twitter, but Trump might be right.

  • He really might.

  • It states very clearly in the Constitution finders, keepers, losers weepers.

  • I mean Is this how it works here?

  • You could just declare victory anytime you want on anything.

  • Because if that's the case, there's a couple of Emmys I would love.

  • Thio, Reg, you ever won a Grammy?

  • You've got one, buddy I hereby claim for electoral vote purposes.

  • You won a Grammy while we're at it.

  • Rest of the band's Academy Awards.

  • Done.

  • Congrats, guys.

  • Congrats.

  • Reporting was also delayed in Georgia's largest county after a water pipe broke in accounting room.

  • Basically, even the building was so stressed it popped a forehead vessel votes in the county, which leans heavily Democratic, were delayed for hours while they tried to fix the leak.

  • And I don't understand why it took so long.

  • The plumber looks competent enough.

  • Okay, We still don't know who the next president of the United States will be.

  • And I don't know where I am.

  • I need to know like I need to know where I'm gonna be.

  • Like, um, I gonna be angry for the next four years, or I'm gonna be feeling just Yeah, sure, Whatever.

  • Fine E.

  • We're still waiting for results from a handful of key states, including Nevada, a state which could possibly put Biden over the top.

  • Nevada has all night casinos, all night buffets, all night wedding chapels.

  • But when it comes to counting votes, let's all get a good night's sleep, guys and come back tomorrow, shall we?

  • Way.

  • That's it.

  • I think that's all the news.

  • 01 other thing.

  • Before I forget, it looks like Joe Biden will be the 46th president of the United States.

  • E Imagine what?

  • I'm excited.

  • Davis is for Joe Biden, but I hope right now he's letting his hair down on just getting into a little malarkey.

  • E.

  • I bet he's got in.

  • I mean, the wedding aviators on a couple of ice creams.

  • And when guys and I said no malarkey, it's time for some malarkey.

  • It's amazing.

  • In a couple of years from now, Way will only remember Mike Pence's name because of Fly once landed on his head like that will be the defining moment of his time as vice president.

  • Like, I guarantee you, you'll be somewhere with What's this?

  • There was a day day.

  • What was it you know, you know, death, the flying, his head, my bets.

  • That's it.

  • For the last four years, Trump has been getting special protections on Twitter.

  • He could find himself suspended or even permanently banned from the site.

  • This might be worse for Trump than losing the election Trump without Twitter.

  • That's like Guy Fieri without hair gel.

  • Mhm.

  • It's amazing.

  • A retailer in the UK has introduced a Christmas themed cronut on it trended on Twitter today because of the name that they decided to give it.

  • Here's the pastry here it featuring Santa's felt region on.

  • They're calling this Santa's yum nut.

  • What?

  • I'm not joking.

  • I am not joking.

  • What is it?

  • It's a belt buckle.

  • And what are you gonna call it?

  • Santa's Yum nuts.

  • Sounds like Santa's turned into a bit of a ho ho ho.

  • Would you eat sand?

Here we are, gang.

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Election confusion, LeBronJovi, President Biden(?) - Last Week's Laughs

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/10
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