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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> JAMES: HELLO, GOOD EVENING,

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO "THE LATE LATE SHOW."

  • THERE'S A BUZZ IN HERE.

  • IF YOU HAD SEEN US WALKING AROUND, THERE'S SPRINGS IN THESE

  • HERE STEPS, BECAUSE WE HAVE SOME BIG NEWS TO ANNOUNCE.

  • REALLY BIG, HUGE.

  • YOU KNOW, WE HAVE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME TO SAY THIS AT THE END

  • OF A STRESSFUL WEEK, AND WE CAN FINALLY SAY IT -- HENRY GOLDING

  • IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT IN STUDIO!

  • LIVE, HERE, RIGHT THERE!

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'LL ALSO BE CHATTING WITH

  • AUTHOR AND PROFESSOR OF AFRICAN AMERICAN STUDIES DR. MICHAEL

  • ERIC DYSON.

  • AND LATER ON, WE'VE GOT A PERFORMANCE FROM THE DELIGHTFUL

  • ELLA MAI, SO STICK AROUND.

  • I THINK THAT'S ALL THE NEWS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ONE OTHER THING, BEFORE I

  • FORGET, IT LOOKS LIKE JOE BIDEN WILL BE

  • THE 46TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

  • (CHEER BUTTON) WE THINK.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

  • I HAVEN'T SLEPT PROPERLY IN A LONG TIME, SO I CAN'T TELL IF

  • ANY OF THIS IS REAL.

  • I MEAN, IT'S A FRIDAY, WHY ARE WE EVEN ON THE AIR?

  • WE DON'T TAPE FRIDAYS?

  • WHAT'S GOING ON?

  • WHO ARE YOU?

  • WHAT?

  • THIS IS HOW MY DAY STARTED, MY WIFE GOT A TEXT AT 5:00 A.M.

  • FROM ONE OF THE MUMS AT OUR CHILDREN'S SCHOOL, AND I MEAN

  • THE LAPTOP IN THEIR BEDROOM.

  • THE TEXT SAID, TURN ON THE TV, THE ANNOUNCEMENT IS IMMINENT.

  • THAT WAS AT 5:00 A.M.

  • WE TAPED THE SHOW AT 3:00 IN THE AFTERNOON AND NOTHING'S CHANGED

  • SINCE THEN.

  • IT WAS 2:53, RIGHT, ROB?

  • >> 253.

  • 253 AT 5:00 A.M., AND EVERYONE WAS SAYING, IT'S THE

  • SAME.

  • I SAID, ARE YOU KIDDING?

  • THEY'RE ADDICTED TO THIS!

  • ARE YOU JOKING?

  • THEY'RE NOT TURNING OFF.

  • THEY'VE SAID THE SAME THING FOR 16 HOURS NOW.

  • THEY'RE CRAZY FOR THESE DUDES TAPPING A SCREEN!

  • DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SCREENS WHEN THE ELECTION IS

  • DONE, ROB?

  • >> PUT THEM AWAY FOR FOUR YEARS.

  • >> James: BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE ONE.

  • >> Reggie: IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN.

  • >> REG HAS ONE.

  • >> James: YOU HAVE ONE THAT'S ALSO PROBABLY A WATCH.

  • I WOULD LOVE ONE.

  • I WOULD BE LIKE, KIDS, GATHER IN.

  • THIS ROOM, THIS ROOM AND THIS ROOM HAVEN'T BEEN CLEANED.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND IF YOU LOOK -- IF YOU LOOK

  • HERE, NOW THIS IS COMING IN TO ME NOW, MAX, YOU LEFT YOUR

  • DINNER OUT, WHICH MEANS YOUR POCKET MONEY GOES DOWN TO --

  • IT'S COMING IN NOW -- THERE, 38%.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING

  • ON AND THIS ALL KICKED OFF THIS MORNING WHEN DECISION DESK HQ,

  • THEY WERE THE FIRST OUTLET TO CALL THE STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA

  • AND THEREFORE CALL THE ENTIRE ELECTION FOR JOE BIDEN.

  • AND IT WAS, LIKE, THAT'S IT.

  • I MEAN, IT'S ALL WRAPPED UP.

  • THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE'LL EVER HEAR FROM DONALD TRUMP.

  • ( APPLAUSE ) DONE!

  • NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OTHER NETWORKS HAVE CALLED THE RACE

  • AND THIS TIME -- I TELL YOU WHO I FEEL BAD FOR.

  • I FEEL BAD FOR THE WHITE HOUSE AIDE WHO RIGHT NOW IS RUNNING

  • AROUND SWITCHING THE WHITE HOUSE TO ALL THE TVs TO A CHANNEL

  • THAT STILL SAYS IT'S TOO CLOSE TO CALL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE IN

  • THE WHITE HOUSE AT THE MOMENT.

  • IF YOU WORK IN THE WHITE HOUSE AND YOU HAVE BEEN THERE 25

  • YEARS, YOU MUST BE JUST WALKING AROUND LIKE, OH, TOUGH DAY.

  • AND THEN TURN A CORNER AND WAS LIKE -- (LAUGHING) -- SORRY,

  • IVANKA, IT'S A TOUGH DAY.

  • JARED, YOUR LUNCH IS ON ITS WAY.

  • (LAUGHING).

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT THIS H NEWS IS A HUGE CAUSE

  • FOR CELEBRATIONS, IF WE WERE ALLOWED TO HAVE CELEBRATIONS.

  • I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT THIS IS FOR JOE BIDEN.

  • I IMAGINE HE'S LETTING HIS HAIR DOWN AND GETTING INTO A LITTLE

  • MALARKEY.

  • AVIATORS ON, COUPLE OF ICE CREAMS, AND SAYING, GUYS, I KNOW

  • I SAID NO MALARKEY, BUT IT'S TIME FOR SOME MALARKEY.

  • >> Reggie: MALARKEY TIME.

  • >> James: DO YOU KNOW WHAT DECISION DESK HQ IS, REG?

  • >> Reggie: SOUNDS LIKE HEADQUARTERS FOR A SPECIFIC DESK

  • THAT, LIKE, ANNOUNCES THINGS OFFICIALLY.

  • >> James: THAT MAKES DECISIONS.

  • >> Reggie: YES.

  • >> James: IT SOUNDS LIKE THAT.

  • I THINK IT SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THOSE -- LIKE A POLITICAL

  • VERSION OF ONE OF THE -- YOU KNOW THE RANDOM CELEBRITY -- THE

  • THINGS THEY CALL LIKE, YOU KNOW, CELEBRITY BUZZ WORLDWIDE.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: AND THEY'RE LIKE AT THE BOTTOM OF A WEB SITE AND IT

  • HAS EIGHT SQUARES, YOU CAN'T MAKE ONE OUT AND IT JUST SAYS

  • SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS HOW MADONNA CHEATED DEATH!

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

  • OR SAID SOMETHING LIKE BILLY JOEL IN PARACHUTE ACCIDENT!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND YOU'RE, LIKE, THAT CAN'T BE

  • RIGHT, BUT I'LL CLICK ON IT, AND IT WILL SAY, BILLY!

  • CLICK THE NEXT SLIDE, AND JOEL!

  • LIKES PARACHUTES NEVER DIED.

  • NEXT ONE.

  • YOU KNOW THE SITES I'M TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?

  • FIVE SIGNS YOUR DOGS ARE COMMUNIST.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S IT.

  • BUT LOOK AT US, GANG!

  • THIS IS WHAT GOOD NEWS FEELS LIKE.

  • I'D ALMOST FORGOTTEN HOW TO SMILE.

  • >> Reggie: YEAH.

  • >> James: IS THAT MY SMILE?

  • CLOSE.

  • >> James: IS IT?

  • >> Reggie: THAT'S LIKE A SCHOOL PICTURE SMILE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: YOU KNOW WHAT THIS

  • MEANS?

  • THIS MEANS TRUMP COULD BE THE FIRST ONE-TERM PRESIDENT IN 28

  • YEARS.

  • THE LAST PRESIDENT TO LOSE A REELECTION WAS GEORGE H.W. BUSH,

  • AND I KNOW THESE ARE THE KINDS OF HISTORICAL FACTS THAT YOU

  • COME TO ME FOR.

  • TRUMP COULD BE THE FIRST ONE-TERM PRESIDENT IN 28 YEARS.

  • COINCIDENTALLY 28 YEARS IS EXACTLY HOW LONG THIS WEEK HAS

  • FELT.

  • THIS ALSO MEANS THAT KAMALA HARRIS WILL BE THE FIRST FEMALE

  • AND THE FIRST PERSON OF COLOR TO BE ELECTED VICE PRESIDENT IN

  • AMERICAN HISTORY.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) INCREDIBLE!

  • ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!

  • ONE THING IS CERTAIN, HISTORY WILL REMEMBER HER NAME EVEN IF

  • FOX NEWS CONTINUALLY MISPRONOUNCES IT.

  • SO WE'RE GOING TO GET AMERICA'S FIRST FEMALE AND PERSON OF COLOR

  • VICE PRESIDENT WHICH IS A HUGE DEPARTURE FROM MIKE PENCE WHO

  • WAS AMERICA'S LEAST FEMALE AND PERSON OF COLOR VICE PRESIDENT.

  • IT'S AMAZING IN A COUPLE OF YEARS FROM NOW WE WILL ONLY

  • REMEMBER MIKE PENCE' NAME BECAUSE A FLY ONCE LANDED ON HIS

  • HEAD.

  • THAT WILL BE THE DEFINING MOMENT OF HIS TIME AS VICE PRESIDENT.

  • I GUARANTEE YOU, YOU WILL BE SOMEWHERE AND GO, WHAT IS IT,

  • HAD THE FLY ON HIS HEAD -- MIKE PENCE!

  • THAT'S IT!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND THE PRESIDENCY MAY NOT ONLY

  • BE TRUMP'S LAST LOSS.

  • FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS AGO HE'S BEEN GET PROTECTIONS ON TWITTER

  • BECAUSE HE'S HEAD OF STATE, BUT IF HE KEEPS TWEETING AS A

  • CIVILIAN HE COULD BE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM THE SITE.

  • A TWITTER-FREE TRUMP WOULD TAKEN GETTING USED TO.

  • TRUMP WITHOUT TWITTER, LIKE GUY FIERI WITHOUT HAIR GEL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, LOOK, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY,

  • FOR MANY OF US, A CELEBRATORY DAY.

  • BUT WE HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT FOR MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE

  • WATCHING, THIS IS A DAY THAT'S TINGED WITH SADNESS.

  • IT IS.

  • WE ARE A NATION DIVIDED AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE HAD TO SAY

  • GOODBYE TO SOMEONE THEY'VE GROWN VERY MUCH, I'M REFERRING TO

  • MSNBC'S ELECTORAL EXPERT, STEVE CKANAKI.

  • >> WE HAVE ONE IMPORTANT STEP.

  • WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS -- THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS LIKE BEING IN

  • CHURCH YOU DON'T WANT TO OFFEND THE CHURCH ELDERS HERE.

  • IT JUST CAME UP.

  • SO TO REFRESH THE SITUATION, SO EXCITING, SO ENTHUSIASTIC.

  • >> OH, BOY, LOOK WHT YOU JUST DID.

  • ♪ ♪

  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> James: WE'RE GOING TO MISS

  • YOU STEVE!

  • SEE YOU SOON BUDDY.

  • WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK WITH DR. ERIC MICHAEL DYSON.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> JAMES: HELLO, GOOD EVENING,

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Is It Safe to Say 'President Biden' Yet?

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/07
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