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  • -James, can I get some thank you note writing music, please?

  • ♪♪

  • Wow.

  • ♪♪

  • Very autumnal.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, ballot boxes, for looking like regular mailboxes

  • that got buff during quarantine.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, pumpkin carving set, for being the least used thing

  • in my utensil drawer, right next to my bluetooth

  • meat thermometer. [ Laughter ]

  • I promised I was going to use that one.

  • Hmm.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, Harley-Davidson, making an electric bike

  • for being the most surprising product release since

  • John Deer's line of eco-friendly, organic eye cream.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, new Budlight Peppermint Patty Hard Seltzer,

  • for being a good option for people who are tired of

  • putting Listerine in their soda stream.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Oh, maybe I'll --

  • Don't knock it, all right?

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, quails, for being pigeons that do

  • makeup tutorials on YouTube.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, axe murderers, for being the only type

  • of murderer that needs a specialization.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Jake here is an axe murderer. Yeah.

  • Kyle's more of a knife murderer.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • He's one of those gun murderers.

  • We are down to our last one. -Aww.

  • -Sorry, folks, it just has to happen, you know.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [Southern accent ] You know, what?

  • I'll get here and I'll read my jokes.

  • And I'll just, I want to give you the best

  • thank you notes I possibly can.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And that's why, I had added this last one.

  • Because we were only going to do, was it nine?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • But no, for you, especially.

  • Because you're the best audience ever.

  • You're the best crew ever. And the best band ever.

  • One more thank you note!

  • Here we go. Here we go.

  • [ Drum roll ]

  • [ Drum roll stops ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, full moon on Halloween,

  • for being definitely not a bad omen

  • in the scariest year of our lives.

  • There you have it, everyone.

  • Those are our thank you notes right there.

  • I appreciate it.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Uh, guys, next week, is election day,

  • but hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers are already

  • voting early this week.

  • Now, the lines are long, some people are waiting for hours.

  • And we wanted to thank voters by doing something fun.

  • So, earlier today, our buddies over at Williamsburg Pizza,

  • and we handed out slices to people in line.

  • Also, everyone got a "Tonight Show" "I Voted" sticker.

  • Because you got to get the sticker, right?

  • yeah, but we thought we'd do one better and give everyone

  • a "Tonight Show" "I'm Voting" sticker, so they can wear that

  • while they wait and then swap the stickers out.

  • Yeah, anyways, let's check out how it went.

  • More "Tonight Show" after the break.

  • -♪ Mesmerizing, state of the art caffeine

  • Over your head like Omni-verse screen

  • ♪ I'm not the average savage that curse queens

  • ♪ I'm something from his worst dreams

  • First we handling first things

  • ♪ I'm subsurface unseen

  • Grat'll hold planet by purse strings MC's are earthlings

  • Not built to hurt things

  • Speaking the words of weaklings

  • Check it out

-James, can I get some thank you note writing music, please?

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B2 laughter sticker murderer tonight show full moon axe

Thank You Notes: Ballot Boxes, Halloween Full Moon

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/31
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