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  • Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

  • And welcome to the late Late Show.

  • I hope you all had a great weekend.

  • I know what you're thinking.

  • Where am I right now?

  • Well, I could tell you, because today I was told that I had come into contact with someone who recently tested positive for co vid 19.

  • I've taken a test.

  • That test has come back negative, but out of an abundance of caution, Um, for everyone that works on the show, I'm gonna host the show over Zoom Way more than 6 ft apart from anyone.

  • But my face will still be here in the studio.

  • Look at that.

  • I'm on TV while I'm on TV.

  • It's a classic.

  • It's a double TV on.

  • It's a shame, because I felt like we were really getting into a rhythm in the studio when we GMO can't wait to play.

  • James want to see it?

  • That's what I'm looking forward, Thio.

  • You wanna play, James?

  • Want to see it like this?

  • Yeah, Exactly.

  • James.

  • Want to see James seeing it.

  • James.

  • Want to see what James?

  • Yeah, that's it.

  • You've nailed it.

  • Also in the studio over there tonight.

  • Filling in for Ian is one of our writers.

  • Tom.

  • Hey, Tom.

  • How you doing?

  • I'm doing great, James.

  • Thanks for having me.

  • Oh, that's a good energy.

  • You started with a good energy, Tom.

  • Yeah, I wanted to mix it up for me in a little bit sore to do my own thing.

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • Is this your first time doing something like this on TV?

  • Absolutely.

  • This is my first time, but I'm a bit of a natural.

  • I e could tell that, you know, mhm up to I can feel it.

  • Hey, I think there's a very real chance by the end of this week, you'll just hosting the show e mean, the energy in this room is palpable.

  • You know, we'll get our agents involved, and we'll figure something out.

  • Now, Tom, I should tell you listen, Any time I need a little help with a joke, I'm just gonna need you to run up to the desk and hit the last button for me.

  • Is that okay?

  • You know, James, I'm here to provide fake laughs for you in whatever form you want.

  • You want me to hit the button?

  • That's that's even easier.

  • So that's that's perfect.

  • I mean, you You have been providing those laughs for many years.

  • Especially a lot of practice.

  • Yeah, but the show must go on on.

  • We're here and we're doing the show.

  • And we're so happy that you're watching tonight.

  • We'll be chatting with Dr Phil.

  • Then we have a performance from Kelsea Ballerini A hope you stick around to watch that Now.

  • I hope everybody had a great weekend, Reg.

  • How was your weekend?

  • Was it a good one?

  • Uh, yeah, Yeah, I saw the movie Flatliners from the eighties.

  • It was really great.

  • So you weren't dragged into a fake political conspiracy theory this weekend, Or was that just make?

  • I'll give you a little background.

  • Because over the past few weeks, right wing conspiracy theorists have been accusing Joe Biden of using a teleprompter toe answer questions during recent appearances.

  • Okay, but now they've gone so far as to claim that it happened on this show.

  • They say that the reflection in this screenshot proves that Biden was using a prompter.

  • Have a look.

  • What?

  • So you see that there And then this morning, President Trump re tweeted this now the first thing I want to say is that I'm just really hurt that this is only coming out now.

  • Joe Biden was on the show in April.

  • I'm also just glad the conspiracy theorists are focused on this instead of the fact that Joe Biden is actually the man towing the carpool karaoke car.

  • Yeah, but seriously, just to clear this up, none of this is true.

  • The teleprompter is for me now.

  • This is back from when we were doing the shows in my garret.

  • And that screen is what all of our guests who zoomed into the show could see.

  • Okay, that's it's very similar to the screen I'm using now.

  • Okay, so there, that's the actual truth.

  • So I'm sure actual hard facts will put this controversy to bed.

  • It seems to work with or any other conspiracy theory, So we'll move on Andi.

  • Over the weekend, the Internet blew up after the president of the United States bragged about how much Miami Cubans love him.

  • Here he is here.

  • Ondas.

  • You know, a little while ago I received the Bay of Pigs Award from the Cuban Americans in Miami.

  • Now here's the thing.

  • The Bay of Pigs Award that Trump said he won.

  • It doesn't exist.

  • There is no such award.

  • Okay, Now, for those of you who don't know, the Bay of Pigs was a humiliating disaster for the United States.

  • So you can see why President Trump would think that he would be the person to win that Trump didn't win a Bay of Pigs Award.

  • I think it's incredible that he's even so.

  • I mean, I didn't even know we could do this.

  • Wretch, Can we just make up awards?

  • Is that something we could do now?

  • Yes, if you're human.

  • You could do that, Tom.

  • What sort of award should I be eligible for?

  • I mean, I would gladly nominate you for some sort of Nobel Late night host fries something like that.

  • Yeah.

  • You know, orange shell.

  • Mhm.

  • That's a shame you started.

  • So yeah, came out?

  • Yeah, I think I think I used all the energy up right.

  • Right at once.

  • And I'm just petered out about half halfway.

  • But there is no Bay of Pigs Ward.

  • So for that reason, Trump hasn't won one, But he has been awarded the coveted moons over my hammy award by several Denny's restaurants in the tristate area.

  • Get out wars.

  • If you can finish the dish in under five minutes now, guys, Did you see this?

  • Earlier this morning, President Trump endorsed the idea of a four hour presidential debate moderated by podcaster Joe Rogan, which makes complete sense.

  • Joe Rogan often talks about doing the psychedelic drug Ayahuasca and Joe Biden and Trump talk like they're doing the psychedelic drug ayahuasca So it doesn't all make sense.

  • But a debate hosted by Joe Rogan, It would be kind of called to have a debate with the two presidential candidates.

  • Just smoke a joint and spend four hours talking about UFOs.

  • Yes, Reggie, you've done.

  • You've done Joe Rogan's podcast.

  • What do you think?

  • He How do you think he'd Fairuza moderator?

  • I think it would be cool.

  • I just texted him today and said like it would be really, I would love to see that because you know, he's got He's his own thing.

  • So it would be very, very interesting.

  • But aliens for sure?

  • Yeah, I also I do think I do think he's kind of the right person because I think, unlike I think, Trump is kind of odd to say yes, this is right because I think unlike lots of moderators, I think Joe Rogan would just sort of be like, No, I think that's true.

  • Yeah, like on both sides?

  • Totally.

  • I mean, that's the great thing.

  • That's why I like going on his show.

  • He's just kind of like he just says what he says, and I'm kind of that way, and I like, I think it would be great.

  • I think it would really allow you to see the character of both the people.

  • Yeah, that's that's why I like going on a show to I've seen a lot, a lot of the same stuff, very similar stuff.

  • That's true.

  • Meanwhile, President pull campaign mode.

  • Yesterday, Trump ignored objections from local officials and held a massive indoor rally in Nevada.

  • Trump wasn't too concerned about hosting a super spreader event because he just kept saying, Hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

  • But while Trump was the headliner, it was actually Vice President Mike Pence, who really shined in Vegas system, for instance, on Trump, supporters were excited to be there.

  • Have a look at this here they are rushing into the event e love that everyone's doing that sort of half jogging, half walking speeds like when someone holds the door open for you.

  • But you're still, like, 30 ft away.

  • You're like, No, you're good.

  • You don't have to.

  • Oh, okay.

  • You are.

  • Yep, I'll pretend to run.

  • And just this morning, Fox and friends started its broadcast with video of the crowd from Trump's Nevada rally chanting We love you at the president.

  • This is how they started the show.

  • Mm.

  • That's some of the most aggressive subtitling I think I've ever seen.

  • Is that Microsoft Word art Good on Trump.

  • In many ways, I guess between them chanting We love you and Him winning the Bay of Pigs Award.

  • He really has had a great weekend.

  • And here's an amazing story.

  • Postcard was delivered to a woman in Michigan almost 100 years after it was sent in the mail.

  • The card was postmarked in the year 1920.

  • So good luck with the mail in voting booth.

  • Back of the card, it says, I hope this finds you well.

  • Oh, my God.

  • I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't.

  • Can you believe that 100 year old postcard?

  • Although it is less exciting when you see what's on the front of the postcard on Finally, Did you guys see this?

  • Scientists have discovered a possible sign of micro biotic alien life in the clouds of Venus.

  • That's right.

  • Alien life in the clouds of Venus.

  • How many times have we said this wretch?

  • Check the clouds of Venus.

  • Why are they checking the clouds of Venus for alien life?

  • Every show, every show.

  • Now, on the surface of Venus, the temperature is more than 800 degrees.

  • It's covered by clouds of sulfuric acid on the atmosphere is almost completely made of carbon dioxide so slightly more livable than Los Angeles right now.

  • But this is exciting.

  • And if I will say, I don't want to me, that's just my own, you know, advancement.

  • But the timing of this is great for me because the clouds of Venus is actually the name of my new signature fragrance.

  • I got this.

  • Oh, yeah, 100%.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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There Is No Special Joe Biden Prompter

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/30
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