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Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman- wait, what was that?
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That slight rustling sound behind you. Was it just the air conditioning, or the movement of a
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vengeful wraith? What is it exactly that's making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end?
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It's nothing, you say to yourself, only to feel the cold,sharp steel of a hook
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running along the naked skin on the back of your neck, tracing a pattern to your throat.
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“You called, I came. Now, come with me, to paradise!”
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The gravelly voice is the last thing you hear as a hook plunges into your throat.
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Candyman has struck again, and claimed one more curious victim.
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But hold up, let's pump the brakes and press rewind. So, you called out to an ancient
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ghost refusing to believe it was anything more than an urban legend, now the hook-handed wraith
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is after your very soul. How are you going to defeat and survive Candyman?
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Who- or what- exactly is Candyman?
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Like most vengeful wraiths, Candyman's origin tale is a tragic one.
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Born to a slave who became wealthy mass producing shoes during the Civil War,
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Daniel Robatille was a talented and slightly famous painter who toured the land.
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One day he was asked to paint a portrait of a wealthy white landowner's daughter,
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only to commit one of the gravest of sins for a black man in America during the turn of the
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20th century - falling in love. Pregnant with his child, the father sent a lynch mob after Daniel.
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Before killing him though, the mob used a rusty blade to saw off his right hand. Then, they beat
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and whip him before covering him in honey from a local apiary. The frenzied bees swarmed Daniel and
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stung him to death, but not before he was forced to look at himself in his beloved's fancy mirror.
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Years later, Daniel would rise again as a vengeful ghost, taking on the name
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'Candyman' as he was termed by local children due to his death by the bees.
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Now, anybody brave- or foolish- enough to utter his name five times in a mirror
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and then turn the lights off will meet death at the end of Candyman's hook-hand.
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Alright, we best get strategizing because Candyman is one of the most terrifying villains
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you've ever encountered. He's also one of the most relatable though, and his death the most
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tragic, but you better push all sympathy aside because Candyman will show you none.
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First, you're going to have to deal with your mirror situation,
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because unlike most spirits, Candyman needs to use a mirror to access the physical world. Of
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course unlike most spirits who can't physically harm people and need to possess a body to do so,
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Candyman can and absolutely will harm the crap out of you with his meathook hand.
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You need blankets, and a lot of them, because you're going to have to cover up every mirror
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in your house. With no mirrors to travel through, Candyman is stuck on his side of death,
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and unable to cross. But what if he's already here? How do you deal with Candyman then?
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Well, your most immediate concern is making sure that your insides stay, you know, on the inside,
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because Candyman is going to try to ventilate your guts with that meathook first chance he gets.
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You can go the prison route, and make yourself body armor out of phone books, but Candyman is
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crazy strong- strong enough to pick you up and fling you across the room with one hand.
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So you need something a bit more heavy duty. It's time to head down to your local museum,
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or just raid your fantasy nerd friend's house and get your hands on an authentic steel breastplate.
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Modern body armor is great for bullets, but it doesn't do so well against low speed impacts from
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knives and the like. For this, it's time to go old school- literally- because our medieval ancestors
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definitely knew a thing or two about keeping sharp bits of metal away from their insides.
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Now that you're somewhat protected from getting hooked to death, you've got another of Candyman's
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weapons to worry about- bees. Unless you want to go the way of Nicholas Cage in Wicker Man,
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you're going to need to find a way to keep the endangered, but lethal,
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buzzbois from stinging you to death.
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Wherever he goes, Candyman has access to swarms of bees he can send on unsuspecting victims-
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not unlike one of Bioshock's best plasmid powers. That's thanks to a whole hive of
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bees that live inside his hollowed out rib cage, which is a pretty metal place to have a beehive.
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While having a Big Daddy around right now would be a big help- not to mention the ability to shoot
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fire or ice at will- you're on your own, and you gotta find a way to protect yourself from those
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bees. A simple bee suit will do, though you better keep plenty of duct tape on hand because
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a slash from Candyman's hook-hand will open your suit and allow bees to swarm you to death.
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Of Course you could just kill Candyman's bee's directly by using any number of modern pesticides.
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What this will do to Candyman himself is largely unknown,
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but if humans are good at anything, it's definitely driving bees to extinction.
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Alright, you got your bee suit, your duct tape, and a 15th century breastplate to protect your
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gooey bits from getting hooked to death- now how do you beat an immortal vengeance-fueled wraith?
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Well, with Candyman you actually have two choices- you can either find and destroy
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the hand-held mirror given to him as a gift by his beloved, and thus set his spirit free
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to move on to the afterlife, or you can simply make people forget about Candyman.
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Candyman is actually, well, kind of a narcissist. He's the kind of guy that shows up at the dinner
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party and never asks you even once about your life, instead just going on and on all night about
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his rib-cage bee hive or how he was murdered for loving a woman of another race. Sheesh,
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we get it, you had a tragic life and now carry bees where your internal organs used to exist,
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but can you ask even just one single question about us?
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No, Candyman cannot, because Candyman is all about Candyman with a capital C. At some point in his
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unlife, Candyman grew to love the notoriety and fear that he spread through the community that he
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haunted, even going so far as to spur his own pseudo-religion complete with altars, murals, and
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devoted faithful. Candyman's love for himself grew to such levels, that his very power is now tied to
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people's fear of him- if not enough people fear Candyman, he's not able to manifest in our world.
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Don't get it twisted- we're not saying that you have to not fear Candyman,
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he'll definitely still turn your guts into garters even if you're not afraid of him.
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You have to get everyone else to not fear him, because only when he fades from the
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public consciousness, like all of Alec Baldwin's brothers, will he stop existing.
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Of course getting people to not be afraid of a six foot five killer with a hook for a hand and killer
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bees for organs is probably not an easy task- so maybe go for the mirror instead. This will require
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some digging to find where Candyman's remains are buried, but with some good old fashioned elbow
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grease and a whole lot of digging, you should find his casket and the mirror that keeps him alive.
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Then it's as simple as taking a rock to said mirror and goodbye Candyman,
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because without the mirror of his beloved to hold his soul in this world, Candyman can
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no longer return to the world of the living as a hook-handed, murder-bee plasmid power evil wraith.
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Ready for more You versus? Check out You Versus Freddy Fazbear, or click this other video instead!