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  • I've talked about this before,

  • but I think it bears repeating.

  • You've probably noticed a lot of late night hosts out there

  • they just come out and they tell some monologue jokes,

  • All right?

  • That's fine for them.

  • But this guy, I like to innovate, okay?

  • I'm sorry other hosts, that's just the way I roll.

  • You see, I found a way to tell great topical jokes

  • here at the top of the show that add excitement, sex appeal

  • and a little 80s nostalgia.

  • It's a great new way of devised

  • we're gonna do it again tonight, check it out.

  • (clears throat)

  • Well, it was reported today that there are 240 U S schools

  • named for confederate leaders.

  • Yeah, the Confederate leaders include Robert E. Lee,

  • Stonewall Jackson and Kid Rock!

  • Breaking news, we have a world peace now

  • Thanks to Conan's Epic Burn

  • Did you ever think that you could laugh while you learn? ♪

  • What was that?

  • What do you mean, what was that?

  • I'm trying to save the world with laughter, Andy.

  • Oh.

  • Hey, Fox News is laying off the people

  • who do hair and makeup or, as Fox News calls them reporters!

  • Conan's world Just caused a truth-quake

  • Crushed the bad guys in a blink

  • He has jokes that make you smile and make you think

  • I don't know how that made me think, that joke.

  • Okay Andy, just go with it, all right?

  • Go with it, it's working. Okay, all right.

  • Recent polls revealed that Joe Biden

  • is struggling with Latino voters.

  • Today, Biden reminded a Latino group

  • that he voted against the Mexican-American war.

  • Sleepy Joe just got destroyed now direct hit from C O B ♪

  • He's crying on an Amtrak train the power of comedy

  • This is actually my least favorite song

  • written for the movie St. Elmo's Fire.

  • Thanks Andy, I'll keep that noted.

  • Okay.

  • One more, scientists have discovered

  • a noxious gas on Venus, that's a sign of life.

  • Of course, here on Earth, the noxious gas

  • is a sign of a nearby Arby's.

  • Uh oh, you've got punchline fever temperature of 103 ♪

  • Comedy's the antidote and Conan's the vaccine

  • (sighs)

  • Well, looks like no snarky comment from Andy on that one.

  • Andy doesn't like this song but

  • No one asked what Andy likes

  • Cut to him right now look, he's not paying attention

I've talked about this before,

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B1 INT andy conan confederate noxious latino fox news

Conan Is Saving The World With Laughter - CONAN on TBS

  • 2 1
    林宜悉   posted on 2020/10/28
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