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  • my friend Ana Laura actually recently recommended the book, Unlock your Boundaries, Build better relationships through consent, communication and by expressing your needs by Faith G.

  • Harper.

  • And it was revelatory.

  • Hallelujah, baby, Let's dive right in.

  • There are seven types of boundaries.

  • One physical.

  • Don't touch May to property.

  • Don't touch my stuff.

  • Three.

  • Sexual, Don't Touch Me or My stuff and sexual can also include the language and ideas around sexuality.

  • For instance, how someone decides to talk to you about sex for emotional relational boundaries, which we respect by how we care for others and by making space for them to have their own emotional experiences.

  • Five.

  • Intellectual boundaries your thoughts, beliefs, ideas and how they are respected.

  • Six.

  • Spiritually your belief systems and finally, seven time boundaries demands made on you, or that you make on others involving time.

  • Every boundary also has three versions rigid, where nothing gets through that boundary ever permeable, where everything you get through that boundary all the time and finally flexible, which, of course, is the ideal boundary because it comes from us listening to our internal voice, the one that wants to both protect us and have us experience growth.

  • The book asks you to really examine how boundaries were first demonstrated and modeled for you.

  • So where did your boundaries actually come from?

  • As a kid, I often got the message that I should have permeable physical boundaries.

  • Give your aunt a hug on.

  • I could definitely see me reenacting these dynamics with my own kids.

  • Kiss me on your lips, kiss me, kiss me on your lips.

  • After figuring out the origin of your boundaries, Harper asked us to really examine how we respect those belonging to other people.

  • So this requires you to really think about sometimes that you have possibly violated somebody else's boundaries.

  • Like, you know, when I violate my brother's intellectual ones.

  • Everything you think is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

  • I didn't even finish talking.

  • You didn't need Thio and I have definitely not respected some emotional relational boundaries back in my youth.

  • Dude, you're overreacting.

  • Okay?

  • Whatever happened doesn't justify this reaction.

  • But the book is an excellent way to really look at our relationships to boundaries and get a more comprehensive understanding of where they came from, if they're working and how to build better ones.

  • Harper's final Nugget of knowledge is to ask us to get clear on our values and then create boundaries around them.

  • So if your value is honesty, make a boundary fade.

  • Do this, just make me look fat.

  • Yes, thank you so much for respecting my white lie boundary, babe.

  • No problem, babe.

  • Learning how to honor the boundaries of others and ourselves will lead to healthier relationships, better interpersonal communication and more fulfillment.

  • I'm Anaconda and thank you so much.

  • The audible for sponsoring today's video audible helps you get more stories and information through the gift of found time, allowing you to listen while commuting, cooking or exercising.

  • A recent Pew study actually found that 27% of adults have not heard a single book in the past year that is up 19% since 2011.

  • Lack of time was cited as the main reason why so, with audible, you'll have no excuse.

  • I've teamed up with Audible, and they're offering a 30 day audible trial.

  • You can choose one audiobook and two exclusive audible originals that you can't hear anywhere else, absolutely free.

  • You can visit audible dot com slash anna or text Anna to 505 100.

  • I just finished this book, Your boundaries, which really helped me realize which boundaries of mine are very rigid or permeable and just allow me to create more flexibility in my life, which has already led to more authentic and like, sort of feeling loved in relationships and feeling loved with myself, with friends and with family.

  • And also like a little certain someone that I'm like romantically involved with.

  • Whatever you don't get to know, you can start listening with a 30 day audible trial and choose one audio book and to audible originals absolutely free at audible dot com slash anna or by texting a N N a to 505 100.

my friend Ana Laura actually recently recommended the book, Unlock your Boundaries, Build better relationships through consent, communication and by expressing your needs by Faith G.

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Unf*ck Your Boundaries

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/28
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