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♪ >> James: GOOD EVENING, LADIES
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AND GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
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I MEAN I THINK THIS IS, I THINK THIS IS THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
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YOU MIGHT, HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH ME, HONESTLY, MY BRAIN IS
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STILL RECOVERING AFTER WATCHING LAST NIGHT'S PRESIDENTIAL
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DEBATE.
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I FEEL LIKE I'M STILL SHIVERING, YOU KNOW?
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HONESTLY, THE WHOLE DAY TODAY IT FEELS LIKE MY LIFE IS BEING
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PRODUCED BY JORD AFN PEELE.
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I SHOWERED MORE TIMES LAST NIGHT THAN I HAVE IN THE PAST SIX
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MONTHS.
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>> I COULDN'T GET IT OFF ME.
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BUT WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW PLANNED FOR YOU THIS EVENING.
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BIG NEWS, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY CLINTON IS GOING
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TO BE HERE TO TALK US THROUGH LAST NIGHT'S DEBATE.
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THINK OF IT AS A GIANT THERAPY SESSION.
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THAT'S THE THING.
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STICK AROUND FOR THAT, REG, DID YOU WATCH THE DEBATE LAST NIGHT,
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DID YOU SEE IT.
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>> Reggie: OH MEI ME LORD, I WAS-- THAT WAS TOUGH, THAT WAS
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REALLY TOUGH.
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>> James: I WAS WATCHING IT WITH MY SON.
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AND I WAS THINKING, MY SON IS NINE AND HIS YOUNGE-- YOUNGER
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SISTER HAS JUST GONE TO BED AND I WAS THINKING THIS IS NOT GREAT
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BECAUSE THERE IS THE EXACT BEHAVIOR WE TELL YOU NOT TO DO.
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IF YOU MISSED THE DEBATE, HERE SAN ELOQUENT SUM ACHES BY SOME
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OF AMERICA'S TOP JOURNALISTS.
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>> THIS WAS SUCH A HOT MESS.
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>> THAT WAS THE WORST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE HAVE I EVER
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SEEN.
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>> A NIGHT OF CHAOS, AND INTERRUPTION, WHERE.
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>> BULLYING.
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>> THIS WAS EMBARRASSING FOR ME.
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>> CLEARLY THIS DEBATE WAS AN EMBARRASSMENT FOR THE UNITED
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STATES OF AMERICA.
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>> THAT WAS A HOT MESS, INSIDE A DUMPSTER FIRE INSIDE A
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TRAINWRECK.
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>> THAT WAS [BLEEP] SHOW.
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>> TERRIFYING NIGHTMARE ONLY THIS IS THE REAL THING.
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>> IT IS JUST SHOCKING CONSIDERING EVERYTHING ELSE THIS
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YEAR HAS GONE SO WELL.
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THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S BEING CALLED THE WORST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE OF
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ALL TIME BUT REMEMBER THERE'S STILL TWO POR DEBATES TO GO.
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SO WHO KNOWS.
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IF IT GETS THE CHANCE TO HANG ON TO THAT RECORD.
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I DON'T EVEN THINK WORD DEBATE IS ENOUGH, I THINK THEY HAVE TOK
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PANNED IT.
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I THINK IT MAY BE THE WORST THING EVER THAT OURED ON
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TELEVISION.
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AND ON THIS SHOW WE ONCE PLAYED A GAME CALLED ARE YOU MART
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SMARTER THAN A WHOOPI GOLDBERG IMPERSONATOR.
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(LAUGHTER) DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
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>> OH YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT.
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I THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP EVERY NIGHT.
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>> I THINK ABOUT IT AND I SOMETIMES THINK I THINK ABOUT
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THE LEVEL OF THINGS THAT HAD TO HAPPEN FOR THAT TO END UP ON
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TELEVISION.
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LIKE WE ALL PITCH BAD THINGS FROM TIME TO TIME.
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BUT WE HAD A WHOOPI GOLDBERG IMPERSONATOR HERE AND I THINK
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CHRISTIAN SLATER HAD TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT,
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GUILLERMO, CHRISTIAN SLATER HAD TO ANSWER QUESTIONS AS TO
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WHETHER HE WAS SMARTER THAN A WHOOPI GOLDBERG IMPERSONATOR.
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>> I PUT THIS OUT OF MY MIND FOR SURE.
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>> YEAH, I WILL BE HONEST, YOU WON'T FIND IT ON YOUTUBE.
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AND MOST VIEWERS AGREED THAT THE DEBAE LAST NIGHT WAS NOT
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PLEASANT BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A CBS NEWS POLL EIGHT OUT OF TEN
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AMERICANS THOUGHT THE TONE OF DEBATE WAS NEGATIVE.
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THE OTHER TWO WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET THEIR DAD'S APPROVAL.
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NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, ERIC.
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INCREDIBLY, 17% OF PEOPLE POLLED ACTUALLY THOUGHT THE DEBATE WAS
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POSITIVE.
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THOSE 17 PERCENT ARE ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO STILL THINK GENDER
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REVEAL PARTIES ARE FUN.
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TRUMP WAS SO AGGRESSIVE AND RUDE THAT AT ONE POINT BIDEN COULDN'T
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HELP BUT BE PRETTY RUDE HIMSELF.
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>> WOULD YOU.
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>> WAIT A MINUTE THE FINAL WORD.
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>> WELL IT'S HARD TO GET ANY WORD WITH THIS CLOWN, EXCUSE ME,
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THIS PERSON.
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>> LET ME TELL YOU-- .
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>> James: NOW I DON'T THINK THIS IS FAIR, OKAY, I WANT TO
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STICK UP FOR CLOWNS HERE.
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BECAUSE, I DO.
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CLOWNS THEY GET-- SOME-- CLOWNS ONLY MAKE SOME PEOPLE CRY, YOU
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KNOW.
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>> Reggie: TRUE.
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>> James: AND THAT WASN'T THE ONLY TIME BIDEN GOT FRUSTRATED
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BY TRUMP'S CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS.
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AT ANOTHER POINT HE SAID THIS.
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>> YOU ARE IN VOTE NOW, VOTE AND LET YOUR SENATORS KNOW HOW
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STRONG YOU FEEL.
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>> ARE YOU GOING TO.
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>> VOTE NOWRKS MAKE SURE YOU LET PEOPLE KNOW, YOUR SENATORS.
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>> I'M NOT GOING TO ANSWER THE QUESTION.
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>> WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION.
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>> THE QUESTION IS SHALL DID SHALL.
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>> THE QUESTION.
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>> RADICAL LEVEL.
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>> WILL YOU SHUT UP, MAN.
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>> Reggie: YES, YES.
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(APPLAUSE).
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>> James: AND IT WORKED, IT WORKED, TRUMP WAS INCREDIBLY
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QUIET AND RESPECT FOR-- RESPECTFUL FOR THE REST OF
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THE DEBATE.
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I WOULDN'T BE SUR PRIESED IF HE IS STILL AT THE PODIUM NOW,
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DOESN'T KNOW EVERYONE HAS LEFT AND HE IS STILL JUST TALKING.
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THE FORMER VICE PRESIDENT JUST TALKED TO TRUMP.
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HE TALKED THE TRUMP THE SAME WAY YOU TALK TO YOUR BROTHER, LIKE
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WHEN HE WON'T STOP ASKING QUESTIONS WHILE YOU ARE TRYING
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TO WATCH THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I
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MEAN, THIS ISN'T THE TECHNICAL CHALLENGE, IT IS THE SHOW
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STOPPER, I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU.
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I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU BEFORE.
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THERE IS THE-- WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP, MANK I'M TRAYING TO
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LOOK AT A ZIGGY STARDUST CAKE.
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BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE ONLINE PRAISED BIDEN FOR SAYING, ONE
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PERSON WILL EVEN SWEET TWEETED WILL YOU SHUT UP, MAN, IS THE
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LINE OF THE NIGHT.
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AND THEN I SO FEEL FOR MILLIARY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M POSITIVE
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SHE WANTED TO SAY THAT AND SHE COULDN'T.
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TO WHICH HILLARY CLINTON ACTUALLY RESPONDED, YOU HAVE NO
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IDEA.
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I THINK I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
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>> Reggie: YEAH.
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>> James: AND WE'LL FIND OUT A LITTLE LATER TONIGHT WHEN WE SIT
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DOWN WITH SECRETARY CLINTON AND HAVE A CHAT.
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ONE OF THE MOST OUTRAGE MOST-- OUTRAGEOUS MOMENTS WAS
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WHEN TRUMP FAILED TO CONDEMN WHITE SUPREMACY AND FOX NEWS
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CRITICIZED TRUMP FOR NOT TAKING A STAND.
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>> DONALD TRUMP PROVED THE BIGGEST WAY UP IN THE HISTORY OF
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DEBATES BY SAYING NOT CONDEMNING WHITE SPREMMIST.
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I DONE KNOW IF HE DIDN'T HEAR IT BUT HE HAS TO CLARIFY THAT RIGHT
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AWAY, THAT IS LUKE ARE YOU AGAINST EVIL.
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WHY THE PRESIDENT DIDN'T JUST KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK I'M NOT
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SURE.
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>> James: I'M PRETTY SURE.
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YOU KNOW, AT LEAST IT'S A HUNCH.
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YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD WHEN FOX NEWS IS TELLING YOU COME ON,
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SIR, JUST SAY ARE YOU NOT RACIST.
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TRUMP WOULDN'T CONDEMN WHITE SUPREMACY GROUPS EVEN WHEN THEY
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PRESSED HIM.
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I MEAN FOR A GUY ON HIS THIRD MARRIAGE I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO
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BE THIS LOYAL PEOPLE WERE SO DISTURBED BY WHAT HAPPENED
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DURING LAST NIGHT'S DISASTER A SPECIFIC GOOGLE SEARCH SPIKED
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SIGNIFICANTLY IN AMERICA RIGHT AFTER THE DEBATE.
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AND THAT SEARCH WAS MOVE TO CANADA.
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AND MOST OF THAT SEARCHING WAS DONE BY CHRIS WALLACE.
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THE SEARCHES WITH MOST POPULAR IN MASSACHUSETTS, OHIO AND
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MICHIGAN WHICH IS SOME BICK BATTLEGROUND STATES.
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MEANWHILE THE GOOGLE SEARCH MOST POPULAR IN FLORIDA WAS STILL CAN
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MY ALLIGATOR GET A JET SKI LICENSE.
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FOR THE MOST PART LAST NIGHT'S DEBATE WAS A COMPLETE WASTE OF
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TIME.
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BUT ONE THING WE DID LEARN FOR SURE IS THAT JOE BIEDERN, JOE
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BIDEN KNOWS WHERE THE DEAL IS.
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>> NOW HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
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>> YOU THE WORST PRESIDENT AMERICA HAS EVER HAD SWRZ AND
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THAT IS THE DEAL.