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  • [ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you so much.

  • Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome

  • to "The Tonight Show."

  • Let's get to the news and jokes.

  • Well, guys, yesterday,

  • President Trump did an interview with "60 Minutes,"

  • and it didn't go exactly as planned.

  • Take a look.

  • -President Trump abruptly ended a solo interview

  • with CBS's "60 Minutes,"

  • and the President did not return to the room

  • for a joint interview with Vice President Mike Pence.

  • President Trump sat down with CBS News' Lesley Stahl

  • for 45 minutes before getting up and leaving

  • and telling CBS that he thought they had enough material.

  • [ Light laughter ] -Ooh.

  • -Hm. -Yeah. Trump bailed early.

  • He was like, "I gave them 45 minutes.

  • What else did '60 Minutes' expect?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It's "60 Minutes."

  • What level of questions did he want?

  • "So, how long have you been so awesome for so long, dude?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • When Trump no-showed, Mike Pence was like, "I'll still talk."

  • Lesley Stahl was like, "Uh, I think we have enough footage."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "Yeah. Yeah, we got enough."

  • If you're keeping score, Trump's attacked

  • "60 Minutes," doctors, and the Postal Service.

  • At this point, seniors are like,

  • "Do you want us to vote for you or not?

  • Just tell us. We don't have to."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Seriously, if you're trying to win the senior vote,

  • you can't insult "60 Minutes."

  • That's like trying to win the youth vote by banning TikTok.

  • Oh, wait, he did that, too. [ Laughter ]

  • -Yeah, yeah. -Yeah, yeah.

  • Apparently, Trump was annoyed

  • 'cause his segment was going to air

  • after the one about a guy who carves rodeo stars out of soap.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Laughter continues ]

  • Oh, man.

  • There's a producer at "60 Minutes"

  • really laughing at that. [ Laughter ]

  • Well, after that, Trump held a campaign rally

  • in Erie, Pennsylvania,

  • where he sounded pretty thrilled

  • about the "60 Minutes" interview.

  • Listen to this.

  • -You have to watch what we do to "60 Minutes."

  • You'll get such a kick out of it.

  • You're going to get a kick out of it.

  • Lesley Stahl is not going to be happy.

  • -Yeah. Yeah. He looked like he really got a kick out of it.

  • Here he is immediately after the interview.

  • This is real.

  • -Yeah. [ Helicopter blades whirring ]

  • -Wow.

  • [ Whirring continues ] -Oh.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -He looks like Rudy Giuliani on his way

  • to the "Borat" premiere.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • ♪♪

  • -♪ Borat

  • -Uh. [ Laughter ]

  • But at that rally, Trump didn't seem too excited --

  • this is... [laughs]

  • this is real, by the way.

  • He didn't seem too excited to be in Erie, Pennsylvania.

  • Check this out.

  • -Before the plague came in, I had it made.

  • I wasn't coming to Erie.

  • I mean, I have to be honest.

  • There's no way I was coming.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Everyone in the crowd was like...

  • "Yeah, r-right?

  • There's no way he would have come to see us, right?"

  • That's quite a message, huh?

  • He's like, "I'm only here with you losers

  • in your loser town because I'm losing."

  • [ Laughter ] "So I guess

  • we're all a bunch of losers except for me.

  • I'm the winner."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It's like showing up at someone's party and saying,

  • "I'm only here because things are bad at home."

  • I just..." [ Laughter ]

  • "I don't even care if you talk to me."

  • "This whole place is a dumpster. Anyway, vote for me."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Well, guys, with less than two weeks left

  • until Election Day,

  • candidates are making their closing arguments

  • to really drive home their message.

  • Here's one from Trump.

  • ♪♪

  • -They said, "Would you like to wear a hat?"

  • I said, "There's no way I'm wearing a hat."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -"'Do you want to wear a hat?'

  • I said, 'There's no way I'm wearing that hat.'"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Chuckling ] Okay.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • Meanwhile, on the Democratic side today,

  • President Obama finally returned to the campaign trail

  • to support Joe Biden.

  • It's like that moment when you've canceled on your friend

  • so many times, you have to make up for it

  • by going to a really long brunch.

  • [ Laughter ] "So your kid's 5 now, huh?

  • That's cool." [ Laughter ]

  • Don't worry -- Trump has a response to this.

  • Tomorrow, Dean Cain will be greeting people

  • outside a Des Moines Jiffy Lube.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • How about another closing argument from Trump?

  • Do we have one?

  • ♪♪

  • -Does anybody have a little sunblock?

  • I'd love to use it right now.

  • I'm always preaching to my kids, sunblock, sunblock,

  • and here I am like an idiot.

  • ♪♪

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -"They want me to wear a hat.

  • I said, 'I'm not wearing a hat.'"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "You guys like...?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • What?

  • [ Chuckling ] What's going on?

  • Here's some entertainment news --

  • normally, around this time of year, we start seeing

  • all the classic Charlie Brown holiday specials on TV.

  • But this season, it's going to be a little different.

  • Take a look.

  • -For the first time in more than 50 years,

  • Charlie Brown's holiday specials

  • will not be broadcast on network TV.

  • From now on, iconic shows like

  • "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown"

  • and "A Charlie Brown Christmas"

  • can only be seen on Apple TV+.

  • -Boo. Boo. -Boo.

  • -Nothing like teaching kids the true meaning of the holidays

  • by forcing them to cough up money

  • to watch a 54-year-old cartoon. [ Laughter ]

  • Even worse, they told Charlie Brown

  • it was going to be on TV

  • and then pulled it away at the last second.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • [ Muffled gibberish ]

  • It's kind of a weird move.

  • I mean, who was like, "I was holding out on buying Apple TV,

  • but now...I have no choice.

  • I cave." [ Laughter ]

  • "I've got to -- got to see my Charlie Brown holiday specials."

  • [ Light laughter ]

  • "I was saving up to send the kids to school..."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "No.

  • No school.

  • Charlie Brown's school."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Some more TV news --

  • last night was an all-new episode of "The Bachelorette."

  • I love "The Bachelorette," man. -Whoo! Whoo!

  • -It seemed like one of the group dates got off to a rough start

  • when nobody asked Clare to go -- to go talk one-on-one.

  • You know they have to do the one-on-ones?

  • Watch this. It's awkward.

  • -[ Sighs ]

  • [ Sighs ] So... should we get the night started?

  • -I think we should. -Yeah.

  • -We should. -Yeah?

  • Alright. Does anybody want to...

  • [ Clears throat ] -Yeah. Let's do it.

  • -...step up to the plate?

  • -I would love to -- I would love to go chat with you.

  • -Okay. -Yeah.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -"So, um..." [ Laughter and applause ]

  • "...guys, uh -- right? -- you want to get it --

  • you want to get it going here or, uh...

  • You know, anyone can, you know, just jump in when you feel it."

  • [ Laughter ] "Anyone?

  • In no particular order, of course."

  • [ Laughter ] "I'll close my eyes.

  • Whoever grabs my hand first is the one."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "Just forget the hand thing. Let's just, you know, decide.

  • Pointing at you."

  • "I'd like to start a chat."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Actually, that wasn't the most awkward moment of the night,

  • 'cause, later on, all the guys played

  • a game of strip dodgeball.

  • Take a look.

  • ♪♪

  • -Whoo-hoo!

  • -Blue team, take off your shorts.

  • -Blue team! Off with your shorts.

  • ♪♪

  • -Demar is out.

  • So, player, this is it for the blue team.

  • They're taking the walk of shame home.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -[ Voice breaking ] I'm sorry. I'm a little emotional.

  • Um, naked dodgeball is how my grandparents met.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Hey, do we have any more closing arguments from Trump?

  • We have one more.

  • ♪♪

  • -Women.

  • I like women.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Ah!

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -And finally, get this -- a town in Canada

  • has decided to change its name.

  • Check out what it's been called until now.

  • -The Canadian town has rid itself of its toxic name.

  • -For 120 years, it was officially called Asbestos.

  • It was proudly named for its asbestos mine,

  • but after years of ridicule, the city has been rebranded.

  • [ Laughter ] -Yeah.

  • Now the only asbestos town left

  • is at the New Jersey Six Flags.

  • [ Laughter ] -Yeah.

  • -Yeah, the new name will really help its reputation

  • according to the town mayor,

  • Steve Hepatitis.

[ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you so much.

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Trump Ditches Pence at 60 Minutes Interview | The Tonight Show

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