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  • Uh huh.

  • We are seven days from finding out which old guy wins the right to sleep on taxpayer funded plastic sheets.

  • Let's go to the tuning out the news decision Death, where a team of analysts and statisticians have been painstakingly lifting Nate Silver's graphics in 87 of 100 scenarios.

  • Bite and wins.

  • That's a 12% chance that the day after the election you will have a 12% blood alcohol level.

  • Voters appear extremely motivated to have a president not working around the clock to kill them.

  • With nine days before Election Day, more people already have cast ballots in this year's presidential election than voted early or absentee in the 2016 race.

  • Republicans must be disappointed that when you mismanage a country so badly that there's nothing to dio, people fill that free time just by waiting around to vote.

  • Yeah, for sure.

  • Now, John, where are we in this race?

  • Besides wondering if a just God would let Trump win reelection?

  • Well, I think that what you pointed out with Nate Silver Fivethirtyeight basically 88% chance that Biden wins.

  • I probably my God would send me tell me it's not that hot.

  • On the other hand, if you're a Democrat, uh, and somebody told you.

  • Look, look, you're gonna bungee jump and you know, seven out of eight times you will be just fine.

  • You'd be pretty nervous up there on that bridge.

  • Thanks, John, for putting that in terms Americans can understand.

  • Like jumping off a bridge Now, President Trump made three stops in the Deliverance Quarter of Pennsylvania with his inspiring message to the Koven stricken masses.

  • I'm tired of hearing about it.

  • Kobe, Kobe, Kobe.

  • That's all they talk about.

  • The fake news.

  • Kobe, Kobe, Kobe.

  • That's all they talk about.

  • It's so true.

  • People are sick of seeing this pandemic on TV.

  • The plot is repetitive and it is depressing.

  • Now listen, Coronavirus needs to mix up its programming.

  • John I, for one, would like to see a guest appearance by Queen Connie Britten in someone's lungs.

  • I just don't agree with President Trump that after November 4th, even if he loses, we're not going to hear about oh bit where it's the story of our time.

  • Well, the rial story of our times is Emily in Paris, about a savant advertising guru who had put Don Draper to shame but Cove.

  • It is a close second.

  • Let me just say this.

  • He's killing Americans in so maney fresh and innovative ways.

  • I think he's within his rights to criticize the media for getting stuck on this one issue.

  • I mean, haven't we had enough talking about this disease that has changed life as we know it?

  • People are completely ignoring the biggest story.

  • Halloween stores are refusing to carry my homemade costume called Tow Truck Guys.

  • Toothless buddy.

  • Also, we all know who is responsible for this virus.

  • Saddam Hussein and his sons, Uday and coups.

  • And finally, Jared Kushner reassured the Republican base that the president believes black people are a monolith.

  • One thing we've seen in a lot of the black community, which is mostly Democrat, is that, uh, President Trump's policies are the policies that can help people break out of the problems that they're complaining about.

  • But he can't want them to be successful more than they want to be successful.

  • Look, nothing really wins over a group of people like a seemingly constipated man shot, implying that they don't know what's good for them.

  • John.

  • Now, how will this last minute influx of support from black Americans who like being condescended thio affect the polling.

  • Well, you know, I would say especially people, whether they're white or black, like being condescended to by somebody that inherited wealth that Jared Kushner did.

  • You know, as a black woman, this is a really insulting implication, and it will absolutely make me think twice about my secret vote for Trump before I absolutely still go through with it.

  • Wow, that's really brave of you to say thank you.

  • Now, despite the White House's tireless efforts to do nothing at all, the coronavirus continues to ravage the staff.

  • It has now infected at least five aides or advisers to Vice President Pence, who were already suffering from the far worst disease.

  • Having to hang out with Mike Pence John Is the coronavirus task force staff contracting coronavirus a blow to the Trump campaign?

  • Or do we live in an upside down hell scape or nothing matters?

  • Well, you saw President Trump in that clip earlier.

  • 90 coronavirus, chronic coronavirus cov ko Kobe.

  • That's all anybody wants to talk about.

  • The reason we talk about is that everybody keeps getting it, including Vice President Pence's staff.

  • Well, hold on.

  • We're saying this like it's a bad thing here.

  • This is a positive for pence and the Emmy winning film Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman.

  • You know he got the virus from the monkey.

  • And so So Mike Pence can now say he is just like Dustin Hoffman and can count the toothpicks like No problem doesn't.

  • Hoffman doesn't get the virus in the movie, but I think your point still holds Tyler.

  • Nice turn now to the other queen, propping up Joe Biden's body like a scarecrow.

  • Here's Kamala Harris being asked if she thinks that Trump is racist just for having racist policies, friends and personal beliefs.

  • Do you think the president is racist?

  • Yes, Ideo Yeah, I dio.

  • I'm not sure that's gonna play in the most racist country on Earth.

  • When I hear about Trump's racism, my heart breaks for the Republican Party.

  • Before Trump, we were not the party of racism.

  • We were the party of the war on drugs and school segregation.

  • Very different.

  • Now, John, do you think it's effective for buying to rely so heavily on Obama and Harris to get across this message of I am nothing.

  • I think it's a smart for him to outworn among the African American community.

  • Hillary Clinton is not president today because she didn't bring out African American voters in the numbers that she needed, and that made the difference in swing states.

  • I just want to point out that Kamala Harris is running mate, is unknown to political scientists and theorized to be a man named Billy Johnson who's 8 ft tall, wears a white tuxedo and can warble like a songbird.

  • Get out and vote for Billy Johnson mhm.

Uh huh.

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Tooning Out Election 2020 Panel: 7 Days Until Election

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/27
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