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  • Kamala Harris is not gonna revoke my pussy-hat

  • because I want to go to Homecoming with Brandon Swain.

  • I really can't wait to see you.

  • I'm definitely coming home for fall break.

  • I don't trust you,

  • and I never will trust you.

  • You have Farrah lite over there,

  • so why don't you go hang out with her?

  • Today I identify as a woman.

  • He's afraid.

  • You cannot post those photos.

  • How are we supposed to help her

  • if she never asks for it?

  • You act like this is new.

  • I know, but it's getting worse.

  • Look, I know Cowher wouldn't post those photos of his own mother,

  • and obviously you didn't,

  • which means that your new partner has gone rogue.

  • [Farrah] How do you have time for official school business

  • with all this aggressive posting?

  • These posts aren't gonna lead to

  • an actual working partnership.

  • -I say we expose him. -That would expose us.

  • -Who cares? -I care... a lot.

  • [indistinct chatter]

  • -Thank you so much. -Mm-hmm.

  • Hey, is your mom gonna come

  • to the pre-party again like last year?

  • -I literally forbid her. -Why, what happened?

  • Oh, she walked around the school parking lot

  • with a camera and a mic asking everyone,

  • -"Who are you wearing?" -No, she didn't.

  • Yeah, her and another mom have this YouTube channel

  • called "Around the Town with Andrea and Joyce."

  • It's beyond mortifying.

  • So, did you guys buy your tickets yet?

  • Well, my date bought mine. You might've heard of him.

  • [Farrah and Hurley] Brandon Swain.

  • You are such a loser.

  • -I know! -[chuckles]

  • I bought myself one because I know

  • nobody in this school's going to ask me.

  • Oh, because they're scared to.

  • I mean, look at you.

  • Hmm. Did you ask anyone yet?

  • I probably will.

  • You know that means you're gonna have to buy a ticket

  • -from one of the Graceys. -Mm.

  • -[phone vibrating] - [Farrah] When I was little,

  • my dad and I would spend hours

  • building these crazy domino mazes in our basement.

  • [phones buzzing and chiming]

  • I always remember crying when it came to

  • pushing over that first domino.

  • I could never do it.

  • [phones buzzing]

  • -Oh, no. -Holy shit.

  • [Farrah] So my dad would always have to be the one

  • -to give it a nudge. -[phones buzzing]

  • Dude, it's cool if you're gay.

  • I'm not... [chuckles]

  • I'm not gay.

  • I'm-- I'm not gay!

  • Hey!

  • Tripp!

  • Tripp!

  • Wait!

  • -Tripp! -What?

  • What do you wanna tell me?

  • That everything's gonna be okay?

  • Is that what you wanna tell me?

  • 'Cause it's not.

  • That post violates me in so many ways.

  • I know. I get it.

  • No, you don't! You don't get it!

  • What do you care? We're not friends.

  • We don't have to be friends

  • for me to give a shit.

  • [scoffs] Look...

  • I get to decide things

  • that happen to me on my own time...

  • and it's not up to some anonymous kid

  • to push me into something before I'm ready for it, okay?

  • This can't happen to me right now.

  • Tripp!

  • [car engine starts]

  • [tires screeching]

  • Hey.

  • [sighs] I can't believe

  • The Crotch would post something like that.

  • It is by far the worst thing The Crotch has ever posted.

  • They're screwing with a kid's life here.

  • What do you think, Farrah?

  • It's indefensible.

  • [theme song playing]

  • In a manner of speaking

  • ♪ I don't think we'll be speaking

  • At all

  • [drumline music]

  • Did I get called to the principal's office

  • because I did something wrong?

  • Or is this mother-son stuff?

  • Combo platter.

  • I thought we agreed not to mix

  • the two things, especially--

  • We did, and I have never

  • asked you to be anything more than

  • just another student in this school.

  • But now I need help from my son

  • who also happens to be a student.

  • Okay, what do you need?

  • I need to find The Crotch.

  • You've already asked me if I know who it is

  • like a thousand times.

  • I know, but you are more

  • of a watcher than a doer,

  • so I thought maybe, you know,

  • you've seen things that other people haven't.

  • I haven't seen anything, Mom.

  • Okay, then help me find him.

  • How?

  • I know how you are around people,

  • so I wouldn't ask you this

  • if it wasn't really important.

  • But can you just dig around the school a little?

  • Maybe talk to some people,

  • see what's happening?

  • You're asking me to be a mole?

  • No, I'm not asking you to be a mole.

  • I'm just asking you to dig around a little and see...

  • Yeah, yeah. Mole, I guess, would be more accurate.

  • Whatever you think about Tripp,

  • he doesn't deserve his personal life

  • exposed like that, and neither did we.

  • The Crotch has no moral compass.

  • Colin, please help me.

  • -Okay. -Thanks.

  • -What's in the bag? -Supplies.

  • We are not leaving Cowher's trailer until we have a plan.

  • You know, it'll take me a little bit of time, but I could probably build

  • a security system that'll lock him out.

  • -[Cowher scoffs] -Of course,

  • that'll just piss him off.

  • -And then he exposes us. -Or worse.

  • And the fact this kid's a psycho

  • creates the same problem with every plan.

  • No, the only clean way out is to find something

  • on Dipankar that's worse than what he has on us.

  • So to get out you have to become a worse psycho?

  • That sounds promising.

  • It's not the only way, okay?

  • Wh-- Why don't we just let him have The Crotch?

  • I mean, what are we fighting for anyway?

  • Hot indexes and school gossip?

  • No, at this point it's so much more than that.

  • He broke you and Hannah up,

  • posted those photos of your mom,

  • and now the Tripp thing? This kid has no conscience,

  • and he has access to every computer in school.

  • Who knows how he's gonna escalate this.

  • Whether it's him or us, it's only a matter of time

  • before The Crotch blows up in our faces.

  • Too many people know about us now to stay hidden.

  • -No offense. -No, I get it.

  • I already wish I didn't know about all this.

  • No, I'm not gonna let it blow up in our face.

  • We can fix this.

  • Oh, nice speaker. Did Q make you that?

  • Quartermaster? Makes the gear for James Bond.

  • What, not a fan?

  • If you wanna try to fix it, go ahead, okay?

  • I'm tired of sneaking around and hiding.

  • -Cowher. -No, I'm serious.

  • I'm out.

  • Now what?

  • With or without Cowher, the plan is still the same.

  • We need to find something that threatens Dipankar.

  • Look, I know this is a big ask,

  • but this is the drive with all The Crotch files on it

  • since it became a thing.

  • It's a lot, and I haven't even seen all of it,

  • but now that we have it, maybe we can find something

  • -that takes Dip down. -You got it.

  • You can trust me.

  • Deal 'em up!

  • You think I'd know better

  • than to play cards with you.

  • Oh, you think you would.

  • [chuckles]

  • So I saw that Tripp post today.

  • So, is Cowher like a crazy person?

  • Or is he just getting out of control, or...

  • No, he's okay. I talked to him.

  • He may have ruined that kid's life.

  • I said I talked to him.

  • I'm not trying to upset you.

  • I'm just thinking maybe

  • he's not the guy you thought he was

  • when we gave him The Crotch.

  • Look, I hear what you're saying,

  • and I'm taking care of it, okay?

  • Fine.

  • I'll drop it. Just thought you'd wanna

  • talk it through with someone you trust.

  • I thought I heard the words,

  • "Okay, I'll drop it" come out of your mouth.

  • Why do you make it so hard for people to help you?

  • Because you're not trying to help me.

  • You're trying to remind me that you did it better

  • when you were The Crotch.

  • I'm sorry. That came out

  • a little harsher than I intended.

  • -No, it didn't. -Will...

  • -You say exactly what you mean. -Will!

  • You know, you're gonna need help someday.

  • And all the people that care about you,

  • they're not gonna be there

  • 'cause you pushed 'em all away.

  • [song playing, man singing in French]

  • [door closes]

  • [sighs]

  • Hey, what's wrong with you?

  • I was up way too late last night.

  • Why, what were you doing?

  • Just fooling around on the computer.

  • Can we-- Can we, uh,

  • get our steps in at a slower rate, please?

  • Yeah, of course.

  • Yeah, can-- can I--

  • -can I ask you something? -Hmm.

  • Do you ever feel like Farrah isn't always

  • being upfront with you?

  • No more than usual.

  • [scoffs] See, that's what I mean.

  • Okay, it didn't use to bother me,

  • because I was always on the inside with her,

  • -but now it's-- -[engine revving]

  • [Hurley gasps]

  • Tripp?

  • [tires screeching]

  • -[car crashes] -[both gasp]

  • -Tripp! -Oh, my God!

  • Tripp went to the hospital.

  • I blame The Crotch.

  • I'm boycotting The Crotch.

  • It almost killed the dude.

  • This Crotch dude better hope

  • I never find out who he is.

  • Hey.

  • Hey.

  • I can't believe you guys were so close.

  • I'm really glad you're okay.

  • Yeah, we are.

  • Tell me you had nothing to do with this.

  • What?

  • I am with you every single day.

  • If you want