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  • you ever have the realization that Oh, I'm depressed every day?

  • You know something that has come to my attention lately in my therapy work has been miss attunement.

  • So Miss Attunement is the experience of not being heard, seen or understood for who you are.

  • And according to my therapist, it's one of the most stressful experiences we can have.

  • Disappoint.

  • Yeah, but not surprised.

  • Obviously, our first experience of Miss Attunement is in childhood, which is always comes back to childhood, doesn't it?

  • The Harvard Center on the Developing Child says Miss Attunement effects Children's brain architecture.

  • When a caregiver consistently a tunes to a baby's needs, Neural networks are built in the brain that support the development of communication and social skills.

  • But when there's consistent miss attunement, a baby lives in a state of constant stress, creating significant emotional and psychological issues.

  • Fun really makes you think about all the bad baby advice that's been prevalent for generations like Hey, let your baby cry until he or she or they self soothe.

  • Sorry, entire generation of parenting books.

  • You created a community of Children who grew up to be adults who stopped expressing their needs, rejected their needs and essentially shut down and disconnected from their needs because we learned boomers aren't safe and they've just abandoned and blame you every chance that they get disappointed but not surprised.

  • What does this look like in adulthood?

  • Well, are you someone who constantly fills up your schedule over, works yourself and gets overwhelmed and exhausted, but refuses to attune to your need for downtime?

  • Are you in social situations that make you uncomfortable?

  • But you often refuse to attune to your need to stand up for yourself and leave.

  • Do you pride yourself on needing as little as possible?

  • Do you stay in toxic relationships, friendships or familial situations to the point that it's a detriment to yourself?

  • Do you feel empty, helpless, hopeless, stuck on scene and misunderstood?

  • Well, then, congrats.

  • Join me in Miss Attunement.

  • Okay, so about this first meeting Yeah, I'm so excited to start this support group for people who are so unable to show up for themselves.

  • Yeah, I should have seen that coming.

  • The good news is all it takes to unravel.

  • This deeply embedded pattern is to consistently attuned to yourself.

  • So this is where a re parenting work really comes in showing up for yourself, asking yourself what you need, learning that you can be seen and understood.

  • It's really hard and annoying at first, but after you do it long enough that it starts to become like a habit and ingrained in your brain, you'll have no problem saying stuff like attention, everyone.

  • As you know, I love you all very much.

  • However, for the sign, it is now 9 p.m. And I need you to exit my home Good night Goodbye and good luck.

  • Get out now I'm Anaconda and thank you so much to square space for sponsoring today's episode.

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you ever have the realization that Oh, I'm depressed every day?

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Why You're So Sad All The Time

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/23
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