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  • >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

  • YOU KNOW, I SPEND HOURS TRAINING AND COSTUMING THE MOST TOPICAL

  • QUEBECOIS NEWS ACROBATS, AND BEJEWELED STORY HARLEQUINS

  • THAT MAKE UP THE FABULOUS, FEAST-FOR-THE-SENSES "CIRQUE DU

  • SOLEIL" PERFORMANCE THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

  • BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES IT'S NICE TO JUST ROUND UP SOME

  • AGED-OUT GYMNASTS, SLAP SOME LYCRA BODYSUITS ON THEM, AND

  • DRIVE THEM AROUND THE COUNTRY FOR THE RAMSHACKLE HOBO CIRCUS

  • OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!"

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, PEOPLE LOVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ROYAL

  • FAMILY, SO THIS PHOTO HAS GONE VIRAL TODAY OF "PRINCE

  • WILLIAM PEERING LONGINGLY INTO A LONDON KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN."

  • APPARENTLY, HE'S BORED OF ENGLAND'S FAST FOOD CHICKEN

  • CHAIN, "LEFTENANT SAUNDERS' CHESHIRE-BOILED BIRD

  • TASTIES."

  • IT'S DIGIT-SNOGGING SATISFACTORY.

  • OF COURSE, I FEEL KIND OF BAD FOR HIM.

  • HE SO CLEARLY WANTS TO GO IN, BUT HIS ROYAL STATION PREVENTS

  • IT.

  • (AS WILLIAM) "OH, TO BE A LOWLY PLEBEIAN BUT

  • FOR A DAY, THAT I MIGHT SAVOR THE ELECTRIC GREEN COLESLAW AND

  • CREST THE SNOWY PEAKS OF A 32-OUNCE MOUNTAIN DEW!"

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, SPEAKING OF ROYALTY, BRUCE WILLIS HAS

  • RETURNED AS JOHN MCCLANE IN AN AD FOR "DIE HARD" CAR

  • BATTERIES.

  • THE MOST ON-THE-NOSE USE OF A CLASSIC ACTION MOVIE FOR

  • ADVERTISING SINCE "RAMBO: FIRST BUD," AND "JOHN VICKS VAPORUB."

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, AIR NEW -- 72 PEOPLE DIED IN THAT

  • COMMERCIAL.

  • QUALITY KILLS, THOUGH.

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, AIR NEW ZEALAND IS OFFERING SOMETHING

  • THEY CALL A "MYSTERY BREAK," WHERE CUSTOMERS BOOK THEIR

  • FLIGHTS AND HOTEL WITHOUT LEARNING OF THE ACTUAL

  • DESTINATION UNTIL TWO DAYS BEFORE DEPARTURE.HO

  • STILL LESS MYSTERIOUS THAN SPIRIT AIRLINES, WHERE YOU KNOW

  • YOUR DESTINATION, BUT NOT WHAT BODILY FLUID SOILED THE SEAT

  • FROM THE LAST CUSTOMER.

  • THAT JOKE BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

  • I'M SORRY, HONEY, I -- ANYWAY.

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN AN HISTORICAL DEVELOPMENT FOR THE

  • CATHOLIC CHURCH, "POPE FRANCIS JUST BECAME THE FIRST POPE TO

  • ENDORSE SAME-SEX CIVIL UNIONS."

  • THANK YOU, YOUR HOLINESS.

  • YOU'VE FINALLY LED THE CHURCH INTO THE FUTURE OF 1997!

  • SPOILER ALERT: ROSS AND RACHEL EVENTUALLY GET TOGETHER.

  • IT'S KIND OF CUTE.

  • FRANKIE MADE THE COMMENTS IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY, IN WHICH HE

  • SAYS "HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE IN A FAMILY.

  • THEY ARE CHILDREN OF GOD.

  • YOU CAN'T KICK SOMEONE OUT OF A FAMILY, NOR MAKE THEIR LIFE

  • MISERABLE FOR THIS.W DOCUMENTARY SAYS "HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE HAVE THE

  • RIGHT TO BE IN A FAM WHAT WE HAVE TO HAVE IS A CIVIL

  • UNION LAW; THAT WAY THEY ARE LEGALLY COVERED."

  • HE'S RIGHT.

  • THE ONLY WAY GAY PEOPLE SHOULD BE MADE MISERABLE IS THEIR

  • STRAIGHT FRIENDS DRINKING TOO MUCH AND INSISTING ON TELLING

  • THEM ABOUT THAT ONE TIME IN COLLEGE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) TWO TIMES.

  • NOW, AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE, THE POPE REVERSING COURSE ON GAY

  • CIVIL UNIONS HAS RUFFLED A FEW FEATHERS IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH,

  • YES, AND SOME OF THE CLERGY WORE FEATHERS.

  • SUCH AS A DIRECTOR FOR THE NEW YORK ARCHDIOCESE, WHO SAID THAT

  • THE POPE "HAD MADE A SERIOUS MISTAKE."

  • UM, PERHAPS THE ARCHDIOCESE HAS FORGOTTEN THAT WE CATHOLICS HAVE

  • THIS LITTLE THING CALLED "PAPAL INFALLIBILITY."

  • IF YOU'RE NOT INTO THAT, YOU JOINED THE WRONG CLUB.

  • THAT'S LIKE JOINING THE ROCKETTES AND SAYING "I'LL DO

  • THIS, BUT I'M NOT INTO SEQUINS OR KICKING.

  • MIGHT PULL A HAMMY."

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO SMELL LIKE SIR ANTHONY

  • HOPKINS WITH THE NEW "ANTHONY HOPKINS EAU DE PARFUM."

  • AND WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE, SIR ANTHONY?

  • >> FAVA BEANS AND A NICE CHIANTI.

  • ( RAPIDLY SUCKING IN AIR ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A

  • PERFORMANCE BY MATT BERNINGER.

♪ ♪

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B2 quarantine pope anthony hopkins catholic church homosexual

Quarantinewhile...Now We Know What Anthony Hopkins Smells Like

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/23
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