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  • >> Stephen: WELCOME, EVERYBODY!

  • COME ON IN.

  • IT'S "THE LATE SHOW."

  • I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

  • BIG NEWS -- AFTER BEING CHOPPERED TO WALTER

  • REED HOSPITAL ON FRIDAY, DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN RELEASED BACK

  • INTO THE WILD.

  • THERE HE IS, IMMEDIATELY TAKING OFF HIS MASK AND SALUTING THE

  • MARINES AND THE CAMERA CREW FILMING THIS CAMPAIGN AD.

  • WHO HAS TWO THUMBS THAT DOESN'T CARE IF YOU LIVE OR DIE?

  • THIS GUY!

  • MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO EVERYONE HE'S ABOUT TO INF

  • INFECT.

  • TRUMP MADE THE ANNOUNCEMENT HIMSELF, TWEETING, "I WILL BE

  • LEAVING THE GREAT WALTER REED MEDICAL CENTER TODAY AT 6:30

  • P.M.

  • FEELING REALLY GOOD!

  • DON'T BE AFRAID OF COVID.

  • DON'T LET IT DOMINATE YOUR LIFE.

  • WE HAVE DEVELOPED, UNDER THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, SOME

  • REALLY GREAT DRUGS AND KNOWLEDGE.

  • I FEEL BETTER THAN I DID 20 YEARS AGO!"

  • WELL, I'M GLAD THAT THE PRESIDENT IS FEELING BETTER, OF

  • COURSE, I WISH HIM CONTINUED GOOD HEALTH, AND IT GOES WITHOUT

  • SAYING: WHAT A TOOL.

  • "DON'T LET IT DOMINATE YOUR LIFE."

  • SO, THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LIVES, THEY EITHER DIDN'T HAVE

  • ENOUGH MOXIE, OR THEY DIDN'T LIVE IN A BIG WHITE HOUSE THAT

  • HAS 20 FULL-TIME MEDICAL STAFF AND GET CHOPPERED TO A SUITE AT

  • WALTER REED WHERE THEY RECEIVED A COMBINATION OF CUTTING-EDGE

  • TREATMENTS THAT LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE ON THE PLANET HAS

  • RECEIVED.

  • OKAY, THEN JUST MAKE THE SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: "DON'T LET

  • CANCER DOMINATE YOUR LUNGS!

  • SMOKING IS COOL, BECAUSE MY LUNG TRANSPLANT WAS SUCCESSFUL!"

  • SO WHAT DOES THIS TELL US ABOUT THE PRESIDENT'S HEALTH?

  • BECAUSE WE'VE ALREADY BEEN LIED TO SO MANY TIMES, THAT WE DON'T

  • ACTUALLY KNOW ENOUGH OF WHAT'S TRUE TO UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH

  • WE'VE BEEN LIED TO.

  • SINCE FRIDAY, WE'VE BEEN GETTING IRREGULAR UPDATES FROM THE

  • PRESIDENT'S PERSONAL PHYSICIAN AND MAN WHO IS EITHER A

  • NORMAL-SIZED DOCTOR WITH A GIANT MICROPHONE OR A VERY TINY DOCTOR

  • WITH A REGULAR MICROPHONE, DR. SEAN CONLEY.

  • ONE OF THE MOST CONCERNING SYMPTOMS OF COVID IS REDUCED

  • LUNG FUNCTION, AND CHECK OUT HOW CAGEY CONLEY WAS ABOUT WHETHER

  • TRUMP WAS GIVEN OXYGEN.

  • >> HE HAS NOT RECEIVED ANY SUPPLEMENTAL OXYGEN?

  • >> HE'S NOT ON OXYGEN RIGHT NOW.

  • THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> HE HAS NOT RECEIVED ANY AT ALL?

  • >> HE'S NOT NEEDED ANY THIS MORNING TODAY AT ALL.

  • THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> CAN WE JUST PIN YOU DOWN ON ONE THING?

  • HAS HE EVER BEEN ON SUPPLEMENTAL OXYGEN?

  • >> RIGHT NOW, HE IS NOT ON OXYGEN.

  • >> STEPHEN: HE'S SO BAD AT LYING!

  • IT'S LIKE IF YOUR WIFE ASKED, "ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH

  • JANET?" "HONEY, I HAVE NOT HAD

  • SUPPLEMENTAL JANET SEX THIS MORNING, THAT'S RIGHT."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE NEXT DAY, IT CAME OUT THAT

  • TRUMP HAD BEEN GIVEN OXYGEN, AND CONLEY EXPLAINED WHY HE WAS SO

  • EVASIVE.

  • >> I WAS TRYING TO REFLECT THE UPBEAT ATTITUDE THAT THE TEAM,

  • THE PRESIDENT, THAT HIS COURSE OF ILLNESS HAS HAD.

  • I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE ANY INFORMATION THAT MIGHT STEER THE

  • COURSE OF ILLNESS IN ANOTHER DIRECTION.

  • >> STEPHEN: YOU CAN'T STEER THE COURSE OF A DISEASE BY LYING

  • ABOUT IT.

  • THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED "MAKE A WISH" AND NOT "EVERYTHING'S

  • FINE, MARK RUFFALO JUST WANTS TO MEET YOU!"

  • WHILE THE DOCTORS WERE PRESENTING A ROSY PICTURE, THEY

  • ALSO REVEALED THAT TRUMP HAS BEEN PUT ON TWO DRUGS:

  • REMDESIVIR AND DEXAMETHASONE.

  • I'M NOT A DOCTOR, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN WHEN

  • YOU GET PRESCRIBED THE HIGH SCORE IN A SCRABBLE GAME.

  • HERE'S THE THING ABOUT DEXAMETHASONE: IT HAS SOME

  • PRETTY INTENSE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS.

  • >> THE DEXAMETHASONE IS KNOWN TO HAVE A MENTAL HEALTH SIDE

  • EFFECTS.

  • IT CAN CAUSE PSYCHOSIS, IT CAN CAUSE DELIRIUM, IT CAN CAUSE

  • MANIA.

  • >> STEPHEN: IT SAYS RIGHT ON THE LABEL: "WARNING: MAY CAUSE

  • DONALD TRUMP."

  • DEXAMETHASONE CAN ALSO CAUSE CHANGES IN MOOD, INCLUDING A

  • FEELING OF EXTREME WELL-BEING, AND TEMPORARY BURNING, PAIN AND

  • ITCHING AROUND YOUR ANUS.

  • FEELINGS OF EXTREME WELL-BEING AND A BURNING ANUS?

  • IT'S NOT COMMON, BUT WE'VE GOT A TESTIMONIAL FROM ONE PERSON

  • WHO'S TAKEN THE DRUG: ♪ AND IT BURNS, BURNS, BURNS

  • THE RING OF FIRE ♪ ♪ THE RING OF FIRE

  • >> STEPHEN: THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

  • ADDING TO THE CONFUSION THIS WEEKEND WAS TRUMP CHIEF OF STAFF

  • AND MAN BEING TOLD THE BOUNCE HOUSE IS FOR CHILDREN ONLY, MARK

  • MEADOWS.

  • AFTER TRUMP'S DOCTOR TOLD REPORTERS THAT THE PRESIDENT WAS

  • IN GREAT SHAPE, AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE TOLD THESE SAME REPORTERS

  • THAT ACTUALLY, "THE PRESIDENT'S VITALS OVER THE LAST 24 HOURS

  • WERE VERY CONCERNING AND THE NEXT 48 HOURS WILL BE CRITICAL

  • IN TERMS OF HIS CARE.

  • WE'RE STILL NOT ON A CLEAR PATH TO A FULL RECOVERY."

  • IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR PEOPLE TO FIGURE OUT THAT THIS

  • ANONYMOUS SOURCE WAS MEADOWS BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY WHITE

  • HOUSE OFFICIAL AT WALTER REED AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD

  • HAVE SO PROMPTLY BRIEFED THE PRESS POOL ON THE PRESIDENT'S

  • CONDITION.

  • AND, ON SATURDAY, HE GOT CAUGHT ON TAPE:

  • >> OBVIOUSLY THE CAMERAS ARE STILL ROLLIN', IF WE COULD GO

  • OFF THE RECORD WITH SOME OF Y'ALL AND GET AWAY FROM THE

  • CAMERAS.

  • >> STEPHEN: YOU'D THINK THE WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF COULD

  • BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

  • ACTUALLY, HOLD ON, CAN WE GO OFF THE RECORD HERE?

  • THANKS.

  • MARK MEADOWS IS AN IDIOT.

  • THE PRESIDENT EVIDENTLY WAS WATCHING, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO

  • SOURCES, "TRUMP WAS FURIOUS AT MEADOWS FOR CONTRADICTING THE

  • WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIAN."

  • (AS TRUMP) "MARK, I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS UPSET

  • SINCE I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH A FLAMIN' MUDFLAP."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) LIKE FRESH CALAMARI OUT OF THE

  • FRYER, MY FRIEND.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) YOU EVER SEEN PICTURES OF AN

  • ERUPTING KILOWAYA?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THIS ISN'T A PARTISAN THING.

  • FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR NATION, THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO KNOW HOW

  • TRUMP'S DOING.

  • WHICH IS WHY IT'S SO INFURIATING THAT DR. CONLEY HAD THIS TO SAY

  • YESTERDAY.

  • >> I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THE SPECIFICS OF HIS CARE.

  • >> STEPHEN: THEN WHY ARE YOU THERE?!

  • I DON'T GET TO GO ON TV AND SAY, "I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THE

  • SPECIFICS OF MY JOKE TONIGHT."

  • PLUS, I DON'T ENDANGER THE NATION BY DOING MY JOB POORLY.

  • AT MOST I ENDANGER THE SALES OF CHARMIN.

  • CHARMIN.

  • ENJOY THE GO.

  • ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE BEEN ON THE DEXAMETHASONE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT

  • I MEAN.

  • WARNING: CHARMIN IS FLAMMABLE.

  • ALSO, AND THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHEN

  • THE PRESIDENT WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED.

  • HE ANNOUNCED A POSITIVE TEST ON TWITTER AT 1:00 A.M. FRIDAY

  • MORNING.

  • BUT WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE PRESIDENT'S TREATMENT ON

  • SATURDAY, CONLEY SAID THIS: >> JUST 72 HOURS INTO THE

  • DIAGNOSIS NOW.

  • >> STEPHEN: WAIT-- THAT WAS SATURDAY MORNING, 72 HOURS WOULD

  • BE WEDNESDAY MORNING, SO HE SPENT TWO FULL DAYS DOING EVENTS

  • UNMASKED, INDOORS, SPREADING HIS VIRUS.

  • ARE YOU SURE YOU MEAN 72 HOURS?

  • SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT HERE: >> WHEN WAS THE POSITIVE

  • DIAGNOSIS MADE?

  • YOU SAID 72 HOURS.

  • THAT WOULD PUT IT AT WEDNESDAY.

  • >> YEAH.

  • SO, THURSDAY AFTERNOON, FOLLOWING THE NEWS OF A CLOSE

  • CONTACT IS WHEN WE REPEATED TESTING.

  • >> STEPHEN: OH, "REPEATED TESTING?"

  • YOU MEAN TO MAKE SURE HE WAS A SOCIOPATHIC DISEASE VECTOR?

  • GOOD.

  • THE WHITE HOUSE WAS QUICK TO CONTRADICT THE DOCTOR'S

  • CONTRADICTION, RELEASING A STATEMENT SAYING, "CONLEY MEANT

  • THAT TRUMP WAS ON DAY THREE OF THE ILLNESS.

  • THE DIAGNOSIS WAS MADE THURSDAY NIGHT, MAKING SATURDAY THE THIRD

  • DAY INTO HIS DIAGNOSIS.

  • SO, THEY'RE LYING.

  • BECAUSE THEY LIE.

  • THEY LIE ABOUT COVID TESTING SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE

  • TRUMP TOLD AT LEAST ONE WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL WHO TESTED

  • POSITIVE, "DON'T TELL ANYONE."

  • THAT EXPLAINS THE CARDS TRUMP'S BEEN SENDING TO HIS STAFF.

  • "GET WELL SOON.

  • "NOT THAT YOU NEED TO, BECAUSE YOU'RE FINE, REMEMBER?"

  • THE PRESIDENT TRIED TO PROVE HOW HEALTHY HE WAS THIS WEEKEND BY

  • RELEASING THIS PHOTO OF HIM "AT WORK."

  • SOME POINTED OUT THAT THAT PIECE OF PAPER SEEMS TO BE BLANK.

  • BUT TO DEFEND THE PRESIDENT, THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S NOT

  • WORKING.

  • BECAUSE A BLANK PIECE OF PAPER IS HIS COVID RESPONSE PLAN.

  • TRUMP ALSO RELEASED A COUPLE OF VIDEOS, INCLUDING THIS ONE,

  • ABOUT HOW THIS EXPERIENCE HAS AFFECTED HIM:

  • >> IT'S BEEN A VERY INTERESTING JOURNEY, I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT

  • COVID.

  • >> STEPHEN: REALLY?

  • YOU'RE LEARNING IT NOW?

  • (AS TRUMP) "FOR THE LAST EIGHT MONTHS, I'VE

  • HEARD ABOUT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE GETTING INFECTED WITH COVID.

  • HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS DYING.

  • BUT HOW COULD I KNOW THOSE PEOPLE WERE REAL IF THEY WEREN'T

  • ME?

  • BUT NOW THEY ARE.

  • MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO ALL OF MYSELF."

  • TRUMP HAD A FUN METAPHOR FOR HOW HE LEARNED ABOUT COVID:

  • >> I LEARNED IT BY REALLY GOING TO SCHOOL.

  • THIS IS THE REAL SCHOOL.

  • THIS ISN'T THE "LET'S READ THE BOOKS" SCHOOL.

  • >> STEPHEN: (AS TRUMP) "I'VE LEARNED SO MUCH.

  • TURNS OUT, THE VIRUS WAS INSIDE ME THE WHOLE TIME.

  • AND THE REAL TREASURE WERE THE FRIENDS WE INFECTED ALONG THE

  • WAY."

  • BUT, BOTTOM LINE, TRUMP WANTS US TO KNOW THAT HE COMPREHENDS THE

  • GRAVITY OF THE DISEASE: >> AND I GET IT.

  • >> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT, MR. PRESIDENT.

  • YOU GET IT.

  • THEN MELANIA GETS IT.

  • THEN CHRIS CHRISTIE GETS IT.

  • EVERYBODY GETS IT.

  • HE MIGHT GET IT, BUT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT, BECAUSE SHORTLY

  • AFTER MAKING THAT VIDEO, HE DROVE AROUND IN A HERMETICALLY

  • SEALED S.U.V., ENDANGERING EVERYONE WITH HIM, WAVING AT

  • SUPPORTERS, WHO WERE AN UNUSUAL BUNCH.

  • REPORTERS HAD THIS ENCOUNTER: "I'M HERE TO PRAY FOR TRUMP,"

  • SAID AN ELDERLY VIETNAMESE WOMAN WHO DECLINED TO GIVE HER NAME.

  • SHE WAS HOLDING A MASSIVE SHOFAR-- A RAM'S HRN USED IN

  • JEWISH RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES-- THAT SHE BLEW REPEATEDLY

  • CALLING OTHERS TO PRAYER.

  • YES, TRUMP HAS A HUGE FOLLOWING AMONGST THE COVETED "ELDERLY

  • VIETNAMESE JEWS" DEMOGRAPHIC.

  • AS THEY SAY AT MOMENTS LIKE THIS, "HANOI, VEY."

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP ISN'T THE ONLY PROMINENT REPUBLICAN TO TEST

  • POSITIVE FOR COVID.

  • SO HAVE HOPE HICKS, KELLYANNE CONWAY, CHRIS CHRISTIE, R.N.C.

  • CHAIRWOMAN RONNA MCDANIEL, REPUBLICAN SENATORS MIKE LEE,

  • THOM TILLIS, RON JOHNSON, AND TRUMP CAMPAIGN MANAGER BILL

  • STEPIEN.

  • THE G.O.P. CHANGED ITS SYMBOL TO THIS.

  • DON'T WORRY, DR. CONLEY ASSURES ME THAT ELEPHANT IS NOT

  • CURRENTLY ON OXYGEN AND HAS NOT FELT THIS GOOD IN 20 YEARS.

  • THE LATEST TRUMP OFFICIAL TO FALL ILL IS WHITE HOUSE PRESS

  • SECRETARY AND BARBIE WHO WHISPERS THREATS WHILE YOUR

  • CHILDREN SLEEP, KAYLEIGH MCENANY, WHO TWEETED, "AFTER

  • TESTING NEGATIVE CONSISTENTLY INCLUDING EVERY DAY SINCE

  • THURSDAY, I TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID-19 ON MONDAY WHILE

  • EXPERIENCING NO SYMPTOMS."

  • HERE'S THE THING: KAYLEIGH KNEW SHE HAD BEEN IN CLOSE CONTACT

  • WITH HOPE HICKS, AND HAD A HIGH LIKELIHOOD OF BEING

  • INFECTED.

  • BUT AFTER KNOWING THAT, KAYLEIGH MCENANY REPEATEDLY SPOKE TO

  • REPORTERS WITHOUT A MASK ON.

  • SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO GIVE JOURNALISTS A SCOOP!

  • (AS MCENANY) "COME HERE-- I'VE GOT AN

  • EXCLUSIVE: YOU'RE GOING TO GET SICK VERY SOON!"

  • AND IT'S NOT JUST TRUMP STAFFERS, THREE JOURNALISTS

  • WORKING AT THE WHITE HOUSE HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID-19.

  • THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION IS A HOT ZONE.

  • COMING THIS FALL FROM AARON SORKIN, "THE INFEST WING."

  • WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

  • JON BON JOVI IS HERE.

  • BUT WHEN WE RETURN, THE PRESIDENT RETURNS TO TWITTER.

  • STICK AROUND.

>> Stephen: WELCOME, EVERYBODY!

Subtitles and vocabulary

B1 INT trump stephen president covid conley white house

Trump Says "Don't Let It Dominate Your Life," Returns To The White House Still Infected With Covid

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    林宜悉   posted on 2020/10/23
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