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  • Well, it's almost here again, isn't it.

  • Christmas. And, er...

  • Like every year, I find myself

  • confronted with the annual conundrum of

  • what presents to buy everyone.

  • What presents to buy family and friends.

  • Er, well fortunately I don't really have any friends.

  • So, er, that's half the battle won already.

  • But still, there's still family to take care of.

  • And so far I've spent the last 20 minutes

  • working on this bespoke Christmas scene.

  • The good news is, in Japan,

  • when you want to buy things, but don't know what it is you want to buy

  • there's an amazing shop to get the job done.

  • It's called Don Quijote

  • and it's a huge, giant emporium.

  • A giant discount gift store

  • where you can find pretty much anything.

  • Except dinosaurs and self-worth.

  • You can especially find bizarre, poorly branded items.

  • After all, this is the shop where I first discovered

  • Black Man underwear.

  • A questionable brand of underwear

  • whose target market I am still struggling to comprehend.

  • But if you need ideas and inspiration for things to buy

  • that ultimately you neither need, nor really want

  • then Don Quijote is the best place to start.

  • So...

  • let's go and see what we can find.

  • Let's get some inspiration for Christmas presents.

  • Off we go.

  • If you're the type of person who likes to wear

  • only premium fancy dress products,

  • Don Quijote has got you covered.

  • Who needs expensive Nintendo license products

  • when you can get...

  • Red Capman!

  • Which is basically Mario, except there's just an R

  • on the hat, instead of an M.

  • If you're more of a Luigi person,

  • then, er, don't worry.

  • There's Green Capman as well!

  • Also with a G.

  • Now, maybe you're a girl, and you're thinking

  • "I don't want to go as Red Capman."

  • "I don't want to go as Green Capman, either."

  • Don't worry.

  • There's Red Caplady as well!

  • Fun for everyone!

  • Nobody gets left out.

  • Look at the enthusiasm etched on her face.

  • Vending machine costume. Look at that.

  • That is pretty good, actually.

  • Oh, it's got the exact quote you would use

  • if you were wearing this costume.

  • And, there's another one.

  • Of course there's another one.

  • Post Box.

  • It's a tough one, isn't it.

  • Would you rather go to a party dressed as a post box

  • or a vending machine.

  • I live the, um, level of distain

  • by the people wearing these costumes in the photos.

  • It doesn't look like he's enjoying it on any level.

  • He just looks really angry.

  • I suppose I would be if someone tried to

  • post a letter into my face as well.

  • In the run up to Christmas,

  • Don Quijote is a great place for stocking fillers.

  • I don't suppose there's going to be

  • much demand for these anymore.

  • I'm surprised there was in the first place, though, to be honest.

  • Nothing says "Christmas spirit"

  • like a reindeer gimp mask.

  • But look at the picture on the back.

  • Look at this guy's face!

  • This is the worrying reality of what this would look like.

  • How could you conceivably think about wearing this?

  • Imagine you go on a date with a guy

  • and you go back to the apartment

  • and things go well, clothes come off.

  • And the guy pulls down his

  • trousers or pants

  • to reveal

  • Sappy Underwear.

  • Why would anyone buy

  • underwear with the word "sappy" written

  • on the top. Like...

  • people like to brag about

  • wearing Calvin Klein underwear

  • But, Sappy? Really?

  • Why did someone decide this was a good idea?

  • ...to have as a name on boxers? I don't know.

  • Sappy!

  • That's the one word you don't want.

  • Finally, a hat that speaks to me!

  • Look at that.

  • "Evolution Motor!"

  • "Two-wheeled motor vehicle power by an engine!"

  • I love it when hats describe vehicles.

  • I look at this, and I think,

  • "It's not a lollipop."

  • "This is a bloody murder weapon."

  • Look at that, you could take someone out with that.

  • I don't know why that thought is going through my mind.

  • Coins!

  • This is a piggy bank that takes 500-yen coins.

  • It takes up to 600 coins.

  • And, if you filled it up to the top,

  • that's 300,000 yen.

  • $3,000.

  • I can't imagine just having $3,000

  • in a Coink, like on the shelf, though.

  • That'd take a pretty big level of dedication

  • to have that kind of money just sitting around.

  • When I think piggy bank, I think small change.

  • Personally, the Coink...

  • missed the point.

  • As per usual, the best English

  • comes on sanitary products.

  • In this case, a toilet seat cover.

  • Which just says,

  • "Let's choose the favorite color from a lot of colors."

  • "For your best life-styling and spending

  • in your sanitary space."

  • I suppose if you are going to spend a lot of time

  • in your sanitary space,

  • You do want to be sitting on your favorite color.

  • That's not a good color though, is it?

  • It looks like... again...

  • dirty...

  • It just looks dirty and horrible.

  • I don't know why anyone would buy that.

  • Oh my god, there's more.

  • It's the full set.

  • The full Sappy set.

  • Sappy fullback!

  • Look at that!

  • "Undercover of the complete body."

  • The underwear just aren't enough.

  • You have to get the full set.

  • This is a robot assistant.

  • They're used in lots of shops across japan.

  • No.

  • Most advanced robot in Japan.

  • He's utterly useless.

  • Don Quijote.

  • The same shop where you can find walking sticks,

  • boots and shoes,

  • and a fucking snowplow.

  • All in the same section!

  • Just for fun!

  • The best thing about Don Quijote

  • everything is overwhelmingly priced.

  • I'm not even making...

  • "Overwhelming price."

  • Genuinely.

  • And I think that just about sums up the store, really.

  • Whenever I'm walking around

  • anyone of the aisles, I feel pretty

  • fucking overwhelmed

  • by how much stuff there is.

  • All the colors, the music, the noises,

  • the signs... is just overwhelming.

  • Overwhelming price, overwhelming shop.

  • So that's Don Quijote,

  • and I can't leave here without a selfie.

  • Yeah.

  • Well, that was interesting.

  • Not really sure what to buy anyone for Christmas still, though.

  • I saw lots of things, but nothing really caught my eye.

  • Ah, fuck it.

  • Sappy and Coink for everyone.

  • Yeah. Maybe I'll get the

  • Sappy fullback.

  • And, uh...

  • I've got to get five or six Coinks.

  • I'll get the green one.

  • I like the green one the best.

  • Yeah.

  • This is gonna be a great Christmas.

Well, it's almost here again, isn't it.

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Japan's Greatest Store | Don Quijote

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    Summer posted on 2020/10/15
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