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  • Who doesn't love a good story about a criminal mastermind pulling one over on law enforcement

  • and sticking it to the man?

  • Well, for every one story of a brilliant criminal getting away with their audacious crimes,

  • there are countless other stories of truly dumb criminals failing spectacularly at their

  • attempts.

  • A homeowner in Johannesburg, South Africa returned home to find their house ransacked

  • and their valuables missing.

  • They immediately called the police to report the burglary and an officer arrived shortly

  • after to take the homeowner's statement.

  • The officer settled in on the sofa, and the homeowner took a seat directly opposite the

  • officer to begin recounting how they discovered that they had been robbed.

  • Just as the homeowner started to give their statement, they noticed something was out

  • of place.

  • There, under the very sofa on which the police officer was sitting, was a strange man, clearly

  • trying - and failing - to be invisible.

  • He was laying flat on his stomach, half under and half behind the sofa, with his head right

  • behind the police officer's legs.

  • It turns out that the homeowner had arrived home before the burglar had had a chance to

  • flee, and he had been hiding under their sofa as the homeowner called the police and waited

  • for them to arrive!

  • He was immediately arrested, the homeowner's valuables were returned intact, and the police

  • had a rare open and shut burglary case in the bag.

  • If you thought hiding under the couch was a dumb move, wait until you hear about the

  • Goldilocks Burglar.

  • In 2014, Martin Holtby and Pat Dyson, a retired couple from Lancashire, England, returned

  • home from a holiday to the surprise of a lifetime.

  • The first sign that something was amiss was the fact that their mail was not sitting on

  • the welcome mat, and their house was clean - suspiciously clean.

  • Pat clearly remembered that the house had been in a state of disarray when they rushed

  • out the door to catch their flights - the sink had been full of dishes and their kitchen

  • was a mess.

  • And yet, when they arrived back home, they found a tidy kitchen and clean laundry in

  • the dryer.

  • Had someone cleaned up for them as a 'welcome home' surprise?

  • Not exactly

  • The couple made their way upstairs to their bedroom and there, fast asleep in their bed,

  • was a strange man.

  • They quietly snuck out of the house and called the police, who arrived quickly and arrested

  • 28 year old Lukasz Chojnowski.

  • He had been living in their house for days, cooking himself meals and washing his dirty

  • underwear - he had even bought groceries and cleaned up the mess left behind by the couple.

  • The couple would later learn that their window cleaner had seen the burglar in their home,

  • but assumed he was their grandson, since he had appeared to be quite at home in their

  • place.

  • The burglar admitted to his crimes, and was given a 2 year conditional discharge and a

  • 200 pound fine.

  • None of the couple's valuables were missing, though Ms. Dyson did note that the burglar

  • had burned an old saucepan, but, she said, “that happens”.

  • The Goldilocks Burglar may not have been the brightest of criminal minds, but at least

  • he was courteous!

  • The same can't be said for these dumb criminals.

  • In the summer of 2012, 2 drunken Welsh tourists made quite the splash at Australia's SeaWorld.

  • 21 year old Rhys Owen Jones and 20 year old Keri Mules decided to take their vacation

  • on Queensland's Gold Coast to another level.

  • After indulging in quite a few drinks, they decided to break into the SeaWorld park for

  • some after hours fun, and left a trail of destruction in their wake.

  • The pair vandalized the park, jumped into the water and swam with the dolphins, and

  • set off a fire extinguisher in the shark enclosure.

  • After having their fun, the couple decided to take home a souvenir - a real live penguin

  • named Dirk.

  • When they woke up in their hotel room, hungover and confused, the pair tried their incompentant

  • best to care for Dirk, putting him in the shower and feeding him scraps of food.

  • After their hangovers subsided, Rhys and Keri realized how stupid they had been to take

  • the penguin, so they thought that the best course of action was to release him into a

  • nearby canal, where they were spotted by locals as they were wrangling the poor penguin out

  • of their vehicle.

  • The police arrived and they were each fined 1,000 Australian dollars and sent home in

  • disgrace.

  • Thankfully, Dirk was rescued and returned to SeaWorld unharmed.

  • It's never fun to hear about crimes against animals, but this next dumb criminal should

  • make you feel a bit better.

  • This thief got more than he bargained for when a simple robbery went horribly wrong.

  • The amateur thief had noticed a parked car with the back windows rolled down, and decided

  • it was too tempting to pass up the opportunity for an easy score.

  • He stealthily walked towards the car, and as he passed by, he quickly reached through

  • the back window and snatched a heavy tote bag from the back seat.

  • Little did the thief know that the car belonged to Brad McDonald, a professional snake wrangler,

  • and that the windows had been down because Brad had left his latest catch in the car

  • while he ran some errands.

  • The dumb criminal hadn't found an easy score - he'd grabbed a bag full of highly venomous

  • snakes that Brad had just captured from an underground car park in Sydney.

  • That's what you get for being greedy!

  • If that's not enough of a reminder to be careful who you rob, then this next story

  • might just hit the point home.

  • Just before Christmas in 2004, Jason Shinkarik's Winnipeg home was robbed.

  • The thieves stole everything from clothing, jewelry and watches to cologne and electronics.

  • They also stole every drop of liquor in the house, and even took Christmas presents from

  • under the tree.

  • To add insult to injury, the thieves even stole Jason's duffle bags to carry away

  • their haul.

  • Jason was devastated, but the small business owner knew he had to carry on with his life,

  • so the next day he went to work at his shop - Pawn Derosa Trading.

  • That very same day, 3 men in their 20s appeared at the shop looking to pawn a variety of valuable

  • items.

  • When the men placed the bags full of goods on the counter, Jason was shocked to recognize

  • his very own duffle bags!

  • He confronted the men, who ran away, but when the police caught up with them days later

  • - thanks in large part to Jason's helpful and detailed descriptions - they were charged

  • with breaking into Jason's home, as well as 3 other homes in the neighborhood, and

  • sentenced to 3 months in jail.

  • Christmas is supposed to be a time for giving, but some dumb criminals just can't get it

  • right.

  • This one might just be even dumber than Jason's robbers.

  • After a 20 year old college student in Washington was booked for underage drinking, he spent

  • a lonely night in a local police cell before being released the next morning.

  • After his release from the drunk tank, he was caught on camera attempting to steal gifts

  • from under the Christmas tree in the police department's lobby on his way out.

  • After he realized that one box was empty, one held a box of tissues, and another was

  • a box of tampons, the would-be thief fled, leaving the gifts and wrapping scattered in

  • the station parking lot.

  • Getting caught on camera is definitely one way to get spotted, but the way this dumb

  • criminal got caught will really shock you.

  • Milton J. Hodges attempted to rob a Lowes hardware store in Orlando, Florida, but was

  • chased out of the store by staff.

  • The failed thief bolted through the parking lot, ran across a busy street and jumped a

  • fence to escape capture, but he wasn't in the clear yet.

  • He had landed smack dab in the middle of the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort and Spa, and as

  • one of the only people wearing clothing, needless to say he was easily spotted by police and

  • arrested.

  • You almost have to feel bad for criminals with dumb luck, but when a criminal obviously

  • thinks they are smarter than the police, like this next dumb criminal, then they deserve

  • what they get.

  • Calgary police arrived at the home of a woman who claimed she had been robbed.

  • She was hysterical as she showed the officers the smashed window where the supposed thief

  • had entered, and she tearfully gave her statement to the police, describing the jewelry and

  • electronics that she claimed had been stolen.

  • Just as she was getting really worked up, her phone rang.

  • It was her French-speaking father, and officers listened as the woman calmly spoke to her

  • father in French.

  • What she hadn't realized was that one of the officers, Charanjit Meharu, spoke 6 different

  • languages, including French, and that he could understand every word of her conversation,

  • meaning he clearly heard her admit to her father that her entire story was a lie, and

  • it was all a scam to get money from her insurance company with a fraudulent claim.

  • Needless to say, somestolen” (n: sarcasm) goods were the least of her legal troubles.

  • Lying to the police is dumb enough, but some dumb criminals just have to take it a step

  • further.

  • 25 year old Valiery Portlock thought he had come up with a foolproof plan for finding

  • new victims to rob.

  • He had equipped his car with lights and an air horn and would pretend to be a police

  • officer to target his victims.

  • Hisgenius” (n: sarcasm) plan fell apart when he used his fraudulent police car to

  • pull over a van in Long Island, New York.

  • When Valiery approached the van, the occupants identified themselves - they were all members

  • of the Nassau County Police Department's electronics squad.

  • Realizing he was in deep trouble, Valiery fled the scene, only to be arrested a short

  • time later by local highway patrol officers who had been tipped off by their colleagues.

  • He was charged with criminal impersonation, reckless endangerment and fleeing the police.

  • Clearly pretending to be one of them is not something the police take lightly.

  • It may not be quite as bad as impersonating a police officer, but this dumb criminal got

  • what he deserved for pretending to be someone he wasn't.

  • When an Iowa City man realized that his driver's license had been stolen, he was understandably

  • frustrated.

  • After dealing with the inconvenience of replacing it, he went on with his life and thought nothing

  • more of it.

  • That is, until a few months later, when a man showed up at the bar where he worked as

  • a bouncer, and presented him with his own ID to attempt to get in!

  • It was an incredible coincidence, and a rare instance of someone getting their stolen license

  • back.

  • Using a fake ID is pretty stupid, but sometimes being honest is just as dumb.

  • In Santa Rosa County, Florida, state troopers pulled over a vehicle for speeding.

  • The car had been travelling more than 25 miles per hour over the speed limit.

  • When officers searched the vehicle, they found a large amount of narcotics, including meth,

  • cocaine, fentanyl and MDMA.

  • What had prompted them to search the car in the first place?

  • The fact that the criminals had stored their drugs out in the open in bags labelledBag

  • Full of Drugs”.

  • The occupants were arrested on drug charges and the police department made a tongue in

  • cheek Facebook post about the drug bust, saying: “Note to self - do not traffic your illegal

  • narcotics in bags labeled 'Bag Full Of Drugs'.

  • Our K-9s can read.”

  • This wasn't the first time police had taken to social media with snarky comments.

  • The Winfield, Missouri police department took to social media to warn the public about a

  • potential new scam in which tricky drug dealers would rip off their customers by selling them

  • smaller quantities than what they had paid for.

  • These dealers would apparently place the drugs on their cellphones claiming they had a cool

  • new scale app, when they were really just typing numbers into the calculator to dupe

  • their customers.

  • The police graciously invited the gullible purchasers of illegal narcotics to bring their

  • drugs into the police station to be properly weighed.

  • Anyone who falls for that one definitely deserves to get caught!

  • These stories are definitely a good reminder that crime doesn't pay, although these dumb

  • criminals clearly didn't get the message.

  • At least their stories of harebrained schemes and poorly executed crimes make for a good

  • laugh!

  • If you thought these dumb criminals were entertaining, you'll definitely like this video called

  • Dumbest Ways to Die”, or you might like this other video, instead.

Who doesn't love a good story about a criminal mastermind pulling one over on law enforcement

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World's Most Dumb Criminals That Didn't Get Away With It

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    Summer posted on 2020/10/12
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