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  • I remember one of my my parents had a mass toot for me because they wanted to be amazing at Mass.

  • And I was pretty good at numbers and I'd have this tutor and he told me that he goes.

  • The reason that you're struggling with next question is because you're always worried about what your parents think.

  • Onda, that really stayed in my head.

  • I was just like, Wow.

  • So as long as I'm trapped by what my parents think, I can actually never find the answers to the real questions of life.

  • I've always had friends who were older than me, and I could see a lot of them in the most successful careers successful jobs, beautiful partners, whatever it waas.

  • But I saw a sense of lack of fulfillment, meaning and purpose in their lives.

  • Andi, I've always been an observer, and I would see these people are like five years older than me, seven years older than me, maybe 10 years older than me, and I'll be watching them go.

  • Is that the life I want?

  • And often the advice I give to people today is fast forward where you are.

  • Look at yourself in 10 15 20 years time and ask yourself the question.

  • Is that where I want to be?

  • If you're in a company, look at the person who's 20 years ahead of you and ask yourself, Is that where I want to be?

  • If you're in a startup looking, where other startups have got to in similar roles and go, is that where I want to be?

  • And if the answer is no, then you need to find a new part.

  • And for me, the answer at that time from observing was no.

  • The path that my parents or society or the university I went to the community I had that was carving out for me.

  • It didn't feel like the path for me, so I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path.

  • I was just so fortunate that it happened to be an uplifting, powerful path, as opposed to something that could have actually taken me down the wrong road because that could have been possible to I think even one step before that is opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences.

  • See, we live in Echo Chambers.

  • We're just surrounded by the same thinking how often do you bump into a monk?

  • You know, it just doesn't happen.

  • You don't have no one has a dinner party and goes, Oh, yeah, We just invited the monk, you know, from town, like the local monk, like no one ever does that.

  • And so we meet people who are just like us Most of the time on We talked about this in business all the time.

  • If you wanna be a billionaire, spend time with billionaires.

  • If you wanna be a millionaire, spend time millionaires.

  • If you wanna be a tech startup, spend time, You know, that's that's the common rhetoric that we hear all the time.

  • But what if you want to find purpose and master the mind?

  • So for me, the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences and new role models because most of us can't see ourselves in people.

  • So then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see.

  • Andi.

  • I mean, there's this beautiful quote that I've been saying it everywhere, and I wish I wrote it, but I didn't.

  • So it's by a philosopher and writer named Cooley.

  • And he said that today I'm not what I think I am.

  • I'm not what you think I am.

  • I am what I think you think I am.

  • Just let that blow your mind from it.

  • Z so powerful.

  • I'm not what I think I am.

  • I'm not what you think I am.

  • I am what I think you think I am.

  • So we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves.

  • Hence, my identity is made by what my parents think I should be.

  • My identity is made up by what my college or university thinks I should achieve.

  • While you're living in that bubble in that echo chamber.

  • Getting to what you really want to do is impossible because maybe that just doesn't fit.

  • And I think so many people feel that way today that they don't fit into the current education system.

  • They don't fit with the three or four or five careers that you're taught exist.

  • So that process of self excavation and actualization first requires being exposed.

  • You can't be what you can't see.

  • If I never saw a monk, I would never have wanted to be a month.

  • If I never meet a billionaire, I wouldn't want to be one because I don't know what that feels like.

  • I don't know what it looks like.

  • I don't know what it takes on.

  • And I think that's the biggest challenge of our society, that we're not exposed.

  • So that's the first step being exposed to unique experiences and role models.

  • Second Step is finding that experience or role model that you're passionate about.

  • Exactly like you said, taking it seriously, shadow their network with them, spend time with them, observed them even from afar.

  • It takes that observation being addicted to observing that person's lifestyle.

  • And then the third step is going yes or no.

  • Does that work for me?

  • No.

  • Everyone who's gonna go from become a monk is gonna feel like the way I did, and that's cool.

  • But no, everyone is going to go and follow and shadow a billion angle.

  • That's exactly the lifestyle I want.

  • They may want the result, but do they want the hard work that goes with it?

  • And so for me, that's the third step.

  • It's observing, focusing, shadowing, getting as close to the process of that individual and then going yes or no Do I want that process not do I want the result.

I remember one of my my parents had a mass toot for me because they wanted to be amazing at Mass.

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I Am Not What I Think I Am - Jay Shetty

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/09/16
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