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  • Thank you so much for being here.

  • People in Chicago love you.

  • Love ya.

  • Yeah, they're nice, they're nice.

  • They're nice people here.

  • They are wonderful people.

  • You've got a wonderful state here.

  • Absolutely.

  • First of all, I wanna say...

  • (laughing)

  • I wanna say I'm a huge fan of your name.

  • Your name, you have the best name.

  • Barack Obama.

  • When I first heard it, I thought I was sure it was Irish,

  • when I first heard it.

  • It is...

  • There's an apostrophe after the o.

  • [Conan] I knew that, I knew that.

  • And Barack is actually an ancient Celtic name.

  • Very nice.

  • So we're ancient cousins,

  • is what you're saying. That's exactly right.

  • You and me, we're right there.

  • I'm taking you to Ireland someday.

  • This is my brother here.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Now, there's a lot I have to ask you,

  • first of all, you live in Chicago, your wife is from here,

  • any advice for me?

  • I'm a guy, I don't know the area,

  • what would you tell a guy?

  • Well, you know-

  • [Conan] Where should I go?

  • What should I do?

  • The key is to get into the neighborhoods.

  • You know, Millennium Park is beautiful,

  • and Wrigley Field everybody knows about,

  • but you know, going out into the neighborhoods,

  • visiting some local restaurants,

  • for example, my favorite restaurant in Chicago

  • is a place on the west side called MacArthur's.

  • (audience cheering)

  • Some folks know MacArthur's here.

  • Some of the best soul food in Chicago.

  • Soul food.

  • And I mean, you'll stand out a little bit.

  • (audience laughing)

  • I will not.

  • There aren't that many, six six guys in the restaurant.

  • It's about time they saw a giant red pompadour in there.

  • I want my soul food.

  • Bring it on.

  • Now, is it true that you've gone to the same barbershop,

  • is it true, here in Chicago, for 20 years?

  • The Hyde Park Hair Salon.

  • [Conan] Hyde Park Hair Salon.

  • Hyde Park.

  • Hyde Park?

  • Okay.

  • Do you tell people I'm going to the barber shop

  • or it's time for my trip to the hair salon?

  • No, no, the...

  • It's called hair salon, but when you go in there,

  • it's more shop than salon.

  • Right?

  • And it sounds like a nice kinda down to earth place,

  • not too fussy.

  • You know, you sit down...

  • The first time I went there was with a guy named Wally.

  • He's an old grumpy guy.

  • And he's day, "Sit down, what do you want?"

  • And I'd say, "Well, I'm not sure."

  • Okay, just shut up.

  • And he'd start cutting your hair.

  • That's a great service technique, just shut up.

  • But now I've got a guy who's...

  • He and I, we've been together for about 10 years.

  • Very brave of you to come out with this.

  • Listen, let me say, the relationship between

  • a man and his barber, that's...

  • It's sacred, it's a real bond.

  • It's serious business.

  • Where do you get your hair cut, Conan?

  • I don't, this isn't real.

  • This is, scientists work on this.

  • (audience applause)

  • This is a high density polymer that NASA invented.

  • Hair.

  • Hair is for wimps.

  • This has robotics in it, it can do things.

  • Ah, there you go.

  • (audience laughing)

  • I'm an ass, by the way.

  • I wanna talk about something.

  • First time that you had real intense national exposure,

  • and the first time I think you came to

  • a lot of people's attention,

  • 2004 democratic national convention,

  • you gave the keynote address.

  • You blew everybody away.

  • People are still talking about that speech.

  • Brilliant speech. (audience applause)

  • Thank you.

  • And I was thinking, do you ever use...

  • You have such oratorical power, have you ever,

  • do you ever go home to your family

  • and try and use that oratorical power?

  • I'll tell you a quick story.

  • You know, we have dinner together,

  • my wife asked my two daughters, seven and four,

  • Malia, how was your day?

  • She'll say, "Tell us about it."

  • Four year old, Sasha, how was your day?

  • They ask my wife, how's your day?

  • Then finally, my wife says,

  • "Well, let's ask daddy how his day was."

  • And my four year old will say, "Boring."

  • And my wife will say, "Well, that's not nice.

  • You know, actually, people come and listen to daddy speak."

  • And the two of them fall out of their chairs.

  • They think that is the funniest thing.

  • The notion that somebody would be interested

  • in what their father has to say.

  • Kids just don't care, yeah.

  • But have you ever been tempted to just

  • jump up behind a podium in front of your kids

  • to tell them, you know, go to your room?

  • Using the great Barack Obama voice.

  • My fellow Obamas.

  • The time has come.

  • I'll try that out.

  • That would work for you.

  • You will clean your room in this century.

  • Have you always been a gifted speaker?

  • Have you always... No, no.

  • Was it something that you developed over time?

  • No, you know, I have flopped so many times.

  • I think it's like being a comic, you know,

  • you get up and every...

  • And sometimes it's working for you,

  • but you know that time where everybody just--

  • I don't know what you're talking about.

  • You start getting kind of hot flashes and...

  • No.

  • No?

  • (laughing)

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • Is this one of those moments?

  • No, no, no.

  • I know exactly what you're talking about.

  • Anyone who's a...

  • And so how do you handle when you...

  • Because people, I think, just assume that

  • you're such a gifted speaker,

  • that you've never had those moments.

  • Describe what it's like for you when you're up there

  • and you feel like it's not working, you're not getting them.

  • It's not working, and the main mistake everybody makes,

  • and I do the same thing, is you just keep on talking, right?

  • ' Cause you think, well, eventually I'm gonna

  • come up with something that they like,

  • and that makes it worse because what happens is

  • not only are you bad, but you're long winded.

  • Right, right.

  • Do you just throw out random words at a certain point?

  • Corndog, onion, blueberry.

  • Anything here, people?

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • But I think that's what's been happening

  • in the White House lately.

  • (audience cheers and applause)

  • Throw anything against the refrigerator,

  • see if it sticks.

  • Yeah.

  • Well, let me ask you something.

  • I know president Bush is famous for nicknames.

  • Has he tried to give you a nickname?

  • He loves to give everybody...

  • You know, the thing...

  • I can't tell whether he's trying to give me a nickname

  • or whether he just can't pronounce my name.

  • (audience laughing)

  • [Conan] Give him the benefit of the doubt.

  • Sometimes he calls me Bama.

  • [Conan] Bama?

  • Bama.

  • Sometimes he calls me Rock.

  • He calls you what?

  • Rock.

  • Rock.

  • Rock is cool.

  • Rock is not bad.

  • Bama, Rock.

  • I like that, yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • (laughing)

  • I just picture him going Bama.

  • Get Bama, get Bama, get Rock.

  • Mr President, are you all right?

  • They're gonna think he's having a fit or something.

  • Now, I'm curious, you have been very successful,

  • you've had a lot of success and a lot of adulation.

  • You've been very successful, I think,

  • at remaining humble and having a sense of humor

  • about yourself.

  • Does that come naturally to you?

  • It's my wife.

  • It's your wife.

  • It's nice when someone else does it for you.

  • Yeah, exactly.

  • She tells me about my ears.

  • She talks about my ears a lot.

  • That's an old standard, how big they are.

  • Oh really?

  • That's nice.

  • So your kids are saying boring

  • and she's like, "Yeah, big ears."

  • This is a horrible home life you have.

  • It's basically, you know...

  • Often I come home feeling pretty full of myself

  • and they knock me down pretty quick.

  • Yeah.

  • I think that's what our loved ones are for.

  • That's why we marry.

  • I feel good, oh yeah?

  • Thanks mom.

  • Now I have to ask you, I wouldn't be doing my job,

  • that's not true, I'm a comedian, not a pundit,

  • but I'm gonna ask anyway.

  • So many people are speculating,

  • you hear Barack Obama is gonna be

  • a presidential candidate in '08

  • or he's gonna be on the ticket.

  • And I just wanna say... (audience applause)

  • I just wanna say,

  • if there's something you'd like to say here,

  • there's probably never a better venue than right now.

  • This is the kind of thing you wanna say

  • just after Chewbacca has made out with George Wayne.

  • (laughing)

  • I was thinking about you as my running mate.

  • Oh, hey.

  • (audience cheers)

  • Me and Conan.

  • It sounds good, Obama O'Brien.

  • Obama O'Brien sounds amazing, yeah.

  • Obama O'Brien.

  • It would be the worst thing you ever did.

  • You'd think it was funny and then like a day later

  • you'd be like, this guy is an idiot.

  • Barack, come on over, let's talk.

  • It's been a thrilling week for us,

  • but it was a real honor to have you be on

  • our last show here in Chicago.

  • And I know you're a busy person,

  • but we were thrilled when you said you'd stop by.

  • Listen, I love Conan O'Brien and most of all,

  • I love the audience here.

  • (audience cheers and applause)

  • The guy's a pro.

  • Thank