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  • Narrator: Tragedy has hit London and Sherlock holmes is put on the case

  • Idiot 1: Sir you gotta come quick, the adult actor Lord Blackwood...

  • He's disappeared!

  • Holmes: What effect?

  • Idiot 2: He's called Blackwood because he's hung like a horse.

  • Holmes: Most engaging... (sexually)

  • Watson: I'll leave this in your capable hands.

  • Idiot 1: I'm not even sure [you] could get your hands around it sir, It's that big!

  • Holmes: Have the new specs caught wind of it yet?

  • Idiot 2: No, we're keeping it quiet; It would cause havoc if people knew it was gone.

  • I mean normal Blackwood porn?

  • Holmes: Certainly...

  • What's the major concern?

  • Idiot 1: We fear he might use his limb to kill people you know like?

  • Holmes: Indeed...

  • Watson: (puzzled) You're not taking this [seriously] are you Holmes?

  • Idiot 1: (imitates dick whacking) Whack him like... on the face.

  • Idiot 1: (faintly) Whack him like... Holmes: Yes...as you should.

  • Idiot 1: (faintly) Whack him like... Watson: (sigh of disbelief)

  • Idiot 1: whack him... whack. Holmes: It's a matter of professional integrity.

  • Narrator: They must hunt down Blackwood before it's too late.

  • Idiot 2: The witness states he was beaten to death with a sloppy blunt object.

  • Watson: Well? Idiot 2: A penis sir. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • (Crows cawing in the distance)

  • Groundskeeper: I know what I saw, it was Blackwood.

  • Idiot 1: And so it starts...

  • Idiot 1: The penis matters...

  • Narrator: The clues are clear

  • (sexual moan)

  • Idiot 1: Definitely tastes like black wood all right.

  • Idiot 2: How do you know?

  • Idiot 1: Well, we're comparing it to this sample gap from his last shoot.

  • Idiot 1: Tastes exactly the same.

  • (chase music)

  • Narrator: They managed to track him down.

  • Host: Behold! Lord Blackwood.

  • (Crowd chatter and disbelief)

  • Lord Blackwood: You seem surprised? (menacingly)

  • Idiot 1: well..yes. I've never seen any of your films right, so I thought you might be like black or something...

  • Idiot 2: What's your plan? keep on killing people with that thing of yours?

  • Lord Blackwood: I will use that as a weapon; To control them (pause)

  • and then the world.

  • Idiot 1: Which is dick?

  • Idiot 1: Isn't that a tiny bit disillusional?

  • Lord Blackwood: (shouting) For the twelfth chime, I will summon the dark powers

  • Idiot 2: Who the fuck is gonna jam it down our throats?

  • (crowd roars in anger)

  • Holmes: All powerful in the world will be choking on death.

  • Narrator: This Christmas...

  • it's action and mystery as Sherlock Holmes discovers the true secret of Lord...

  • Blackwood.

  • Holmes: It was never any magic...

  • only conjuring tricks.

  • Idiot 1: Yes...

  • It seems he used the pipe of a vacuum cleaner.

  • Idiot 1: Like this, to fake a large penis.

  • (Blackwood grunts)

  • Narrator: "Sherlock Holmes"

  • "and the case"

  • "of the missing porn star"

  • "Cumming Soon"

  • Idiot 2: How would you hung Sherlock?

  • Like a big man?

  • Sherlock: A midget...

  • Idiot 2: Oh..Sorry. (Awkard)

  • (The End :3)

Narrator: Tragedy has hit London and Sherlock holmes is put on the case

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Sherlock Holmes Spoof Trailer

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    Amy.Lin posted on 2020/08/19
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