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- Give us a clap there boy!
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(laughing) (upbeat music)
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Do you date a lot?
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You date a lot.
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- I like it.
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Well, no, I don't like it at all.
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But I like the idea of it.
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- Tell me about your first date
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horror story. - Okay, so,
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you've heard of The League, right?
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The app?
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- Duh, it's only the most bougie dating app.
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- No, I mean, they let in anyone.
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Let's be real. - No, they don't.
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I know people that are still on the waiting list for it.
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- Oh, I'm sorry for them.
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Yeah, I found this one guy on the app,
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and he was cute.
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We went to coffee,
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and he bought me my drink which was super sweet.
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It's like fine.
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I don't know if it's instant chemistry,
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but-- - It never is.
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- It's perfectly pleasant.
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He tells me that he went into grad school in Germany.
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And I'm like, "Oh that's super cool.
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"Do you speak German?"
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And he was like, "Oh, yeah, I speak German."
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And I'm like, oh, that's pretty attractive.
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If you speak a European language,
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that's-- - That's (bleeping) hot.
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Whatever.
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- He looks at me and says-- - As long as he's not a Nazi.
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Oh no, is he a Nazi? (record scratching)
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- So-- - Did I just kill
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the punch line?
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(laughing) I'm so sorry.
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- It's okay.
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He looked at me and he's like, "Are you Jewish?"
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(ominous music) - Oh no!
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- So at this point I knew that this was gonna go
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in not a great direction.
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But I was like, "Yes, I am."
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To which he replied,
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"Are you gonna be one of those guys
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"who ask me to role play as a Nazi?"
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(ominous music)
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And I was a little appalled by that.
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(chuckles) It was not at all what I was expecting.
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I look at him and I'm just like,
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"Excuse me?"
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And he's like,
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if you need to work out your trauma on me or whatever.
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- Holy (bleeping).
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- It just went from
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zero to 100-- - Like real quick.
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- I think I was just like,
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"Wow, that's really (bleeping) offensive."
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- You said that? - Yeah.
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(laughing) - (bleep) yeah!
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- I just had so many questions.
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Is this something that a lot of guys are interested in?
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And if they are, fine.
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That's not me, but maybe don't assume that?
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- Just because you're Jewish? - Yes!
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Like I guess this is a trope that I was unfamiliar with.
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- I don't think it is.
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I think that was a very specific case.
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(laughing)
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- It took us to a level that I was not chill with.
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- No, #notchill.
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- And then we never spoke again.
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- Imagine that.
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His loss.
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Isn't that what you do? (laughing)
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- I want to hear about your horror story that--
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- Oh God, mine's just a a disaster.
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(laughing) It's not
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super offensive.
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It's just bad.
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This was when I was only dating men for a period of time.
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Mistake number one.
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He picks me up from my apartment
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on a motorcycle
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(motorcycle rumbles) and doesn't tell me.
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And I was wearing a dress.
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And I was like, okay maybe he just...
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went over his head that he forgot to mention
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that he was picking me up on a motorcycle.
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But then didn't have a second helmet.
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- No, shut it down. - And didn't offer his to me.
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And I was like,
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looked so awkward, this girl in a dress
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with my hair all down,
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and on the back of this (bleeping) motorcycle.
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So we take a drive down to, do you remember Kabuki?
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So we go there.
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And he's talking a lot about himself.
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I'm just waiting patiently for him to finish,
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and he doesn't, he just keeps going and going.
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And I actually had to be like,
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(toilet flushing) I gotta pee, be right back,
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to get him to stop talking for a minute.
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- That's a good strategy. - Yeah.
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And I go in the bathroom and text my friends.
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And I'm like, he's cute and rides a motorcycle, oh my God.
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But he won't shut the (bleep) up.
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(laughing) So I go back to the seat,
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and we're talking, we're talking.
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And I'm like, okay.
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He's like, do you want dessert?
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And I was like, no let's wrap this up
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'cause he's clearly not interested in me at all.
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And then he asks,
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do I want any cocaine.
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(record scratches)
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- That's so generous of him.
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(laughing)
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- Just instead of dessert, how 'bout a little blow?
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And-- - It's basically like
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powdered sugar.
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- Yeah, basically, right.
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And all the dots started connecting.
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I was like, oh that's why I literally haven't spoken once
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this entire date.
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And so he had it in his wallet,
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and I immediately was like, oh, my friend just texted me.
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I'm going to go meet them down the street.
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And he was like, let me take you.
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And I was like, no!
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(laughing) Don't follow me.
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Don't come near me.
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- Please leave forever. - And the worst part about it
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is that after all of that, I still paid for my half.
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- No!
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- 'Cause I was at a point where I was like,
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I just want to get away from this man
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with mountains of cocaine on him,
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and leave the restaurant.
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And I'll do anything, pay anything
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to like-- - Yes.
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- This was a situation where I was like,
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hey, this was fun, but I think we're
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more good as friends.
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Six months later, he gets arrested,
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and is in jail still to this day.
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- You know what, you dodged a bullet.
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- Yes, and who knows what slippery slope
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that could of led to if I would have let his good looks
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and motorcycle blind my good judgment.
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- Yeah.
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- But he was (bleeping) hot.
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That was one of my first dating experiences in LA.
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So I was like, well,
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I feel like I got the worst out of the way.
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(laughing) - It's almost like
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a very LA story, though.
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- Yeah, but you know what?
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Truth be told, I've never had an experience
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as dangerous as that, but they've all been pretty shitty.
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- So do you have a first date horror story?
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- Please, if you do, leave it in the comments below,
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because we don't want to feel so bad
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about our lives. - No, please make us
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feel better about ourselves.
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- And subscribe to this channel,
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if you're not subscribed.
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- Please, yes.
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Do it. - Do people say that?
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Have we ever done that in videos?
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Subscribe. - Subscribe!
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We're YouTubers. - We're YouTubers now.
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We're vloggers.
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(laughing)
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(upbeat music)