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Whatever you call them, not many people actually like their own.
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But why do they stick out like that?
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Why are they made of that bendy cartilage tissue and not bone?
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And why do you always get a spot on the end of it
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right before a job interview?
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Our lives would be very different
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if instead of noses we just had two wee holes on the front of our face.
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I mean why do you think Voldemort was always so raging?
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My life is terrible.
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Like loads of our external organs, noses evolved to help us eat
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and therefore live.
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Our nose is close to our mouth with downward pointing nostrils
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so even at the very last minute
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we can smell if something has gone rotten.
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Noses even help us eat when we're too young to nip to the shops ourselves
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by making sure we don't suffocate while being breastfed.
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That little air gap created by your nose pushing up against the breast
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coupled with the fact that the larynx sits much higher when you're a baby
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means that you can eat and breathe at the same time.
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The external nose is mainly made up of a springy cartilage
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and it's a good job too.
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They take quite a bit of a bashing throughout our lives
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so it makes a lot of sense that they're softer
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and less likely to splinter and shatter.
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While our jutting noses are in prime position to take a battering,
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the position is also helpful for keeping rainwater or sweat
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from flowing straight into our nostrils.
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Not all creatures are so design savvy.
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The Myanmar snub-nosed monkey has an upward pointing nose
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and is nicknamed the sneezing monkey
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because every time it rains monkey goes atishoo!
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Sounds cute, but when you're trying to live your best camouflaged life
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a sneeze isn't the best way to stay concealed from predators.
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So your nose probably isn't as unfortunately shaped
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as the snub-nosed monkey,
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but what if you're not happy with it?
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Rhinoplasty, or a nose job to the rest of us,
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is the most common plastic surgery carried out anywhere
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and it's nothing new.
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Rhinoplasty first became popular during the mass syphilis outbreak
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in 16th Century Europe,
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as one of the unfortunate symptoms of advanced syphilis
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is the loss of soft tissue and therefore your nose.
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A nose job then was as much fun as the disease.
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Surgeons would cut a flap in the arm,
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attach it to where your nose once was
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and once it fuses with your face
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sever your arm free and mould what's left
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into something resembling a nose.
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Now push the thought of arm flaps from your mind
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and think instead about lovely, warm weather.
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Our environment has influenced the way our noses evolve too.
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In warmer climates there is less need to warm the air up
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on the way into the lungs
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so the immediate flow of air straight into the lungs is preferable
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resulting in shorter, flatter noses.
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In colder climates, you're more likely to find long, thin noses
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that are better at heating and humidifying cold air
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before it gets to the lungs.
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As well as being damned cute,
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dogs are said to have one of the best senses of smell going.
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According to a recent study carried out in Florida,
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specially trained dogs had an almost 97% accuracy
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in sniffing out cancer in blood samples.
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But our own sense of smell certainly isn't to be sniffed at -
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humans are better than dogs
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at identifying the smell of some ripe fruits
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simply because it's a more valuable trait to us.
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And if you wonder why the smell of ripe fruit takes you right back
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to your 2008 Benidorm weekender featuring too many mango daiquiris,
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it's because of odour memory -
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a rather unique ability that we possess
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because the part of our brain that deals with our sense of smell
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is right next to the hippocampus, the area where memories are formed.
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Saving us from suffocation and salmonella,
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sneezing and freezing,
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it's safe to say we owe a whole lot
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to our pointy, flat, wide, button, bumpy noses.
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Even if it is where all the bogeys live.