Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • M: Hi ducky.

  • S: Good morning, my love.

  • M: So guys

  • M: Had a real rough night last night. Did not sleep well at all. Just had a lot of body pain

  • and... I told Simon today that I really want to make this video because

  • I keep telling you guys about building a ladder, and about the importance of how it's little steps.

  • It's not necessarily like huge epic trips to Hawaii.

  • And you've only seen me in my videos bei positive and happy.

  • So I want to show you guys how I get through a really hard day and how I build that ladder.

  • Just so that you guys can look at this video and go:

  • "I know those days," and like, "okay, I can follow some of those steps." Or

  • people who don't know what you're going through; you can show them what it's like to build a ladder. So

  • I'm starting my ladder

  • to build myself out because I'm feeling so down and depressed, and my body is killing me that I just wanted

  • to stay at home in bed all day and not leave the house, but

  • I'm starting my first step: I'm getting out of bed, and that is a really big base ladder step.

  • Then I'm gonna go pick out some colorful clothing,

  • something that makes me feel happy to wear, and something that I think people

  • looking at me on the street might smile if they see.

  • And then we'll see where we're going from there.

  • Two very important rungs on the ladders, guys.

  • M: Thanks for getting through this with me, ducky. S: I'm always there for you, girl.

  • M: Alright, let's go.

  • S: Okay.

  • M: Okay.

  • M: -sniffs- My tears steamed up my glasses, and I couldn't see where I'm going.

  • M: I'm down! S: You did it, girl!

  • M: Ladder!

  • S: I love you, mum!

  • M: He's the worst possible therapy dog, because he smells so bad.

  • M: I'm sure most therapy dogs like smell good, but Spudgy just is like

  • You're just like moving your mouth away from him when he tries to rub his slimey face on you.

  • M: Thanks, buddy; it does make me feel better. I love you.

  • M: This is my pig hat,

  • and my pig hat I use to get extra strength when I'm having a real hard time

  • So when I've acknowledged that I'm having a hard day,

  • Simon puts the pig hat on me, and it gives me more power because the pig hat is filled with the power of the pig.

  • M: Kogi does not like the pig hat.

  • S: Why do you have two pigs, by the way?

  • M: They're different. This is a pig, and this is a pig /hat/.

  • S: Question: Why do you have three pigs?

  • M: [in Meemer's voice] What the-?

  • M: Well, we were gonna film and open

  • the fan mail. I can't even -- S: live stream. -- a live stream today, but I'm feeling a bit too down.

  • Uh, my original plan for when I wake up feeling miserable is usually lying in bed and not doing anything all day.

  • I usually just like lie on the couch all day and watch Netflix and literally chill, because I put ice packs on my body. Get it?

  • M: Chronic pain joke~ S: Netflix and chillll - what what? M: Netflix and chill~

  • M: Today, I'm gonna push myself. I have

  • serious shoulder pain. My shoulder's been dislocated for how long ago, ducky?

  • S: Probably like three weeks. M: Three weeks. I can't get it back in. I'm seeing physiotherapists; it's not working.

  • My elbow hurts; my knees are shooting.

  • Everything is just in so much pain, and

  • When you're in pain, it mentally affects your mind as well and so it's real easy just to stay at home,

  • but it doesn't make you feel better, and I think we can all agree to that.

  • Whether you're depressed or you have chronic pain or whatever you're going through, staying at home does not

  • necessarily make you feel better. It's good sometimes, because you need to rest your body.

  • But in this case, for my mental well-being, I'm gonna try real hard to get out of the house.

  • To add a different rung to my ladder that helps me pull myself out of this pit.

  • M: Hey, never underestimate the importance of music.

  • I've been enjoying what Simon calls "shitty George Michael." You don't know anything about music!

  • This is, ladies and gentlemen, "The Best of George Michael," and I love George Michael, and

  • music makes you feel really great, but you have to try to avoid the dark music. Because man, do I have a whole, entire playlist

  • dedicated to dark music. But on this day - this is not the day. This is the day that you listen to something that makes you smile.

  • Something that makes you want to dance. Even if you're just like elbow dancing, 'cause you can't support your weight.

  • So that's a - that's a big rung on my ladder is listening to music to kinda get me going.

  • M: My hair is soaking wet.

  • Um, but I just do not have the energy to blow dry it. So what I'm gonna do is some loose braids.

  • I'm not lifting my arms up high. I'm keeping them down as low as I possibly can, and I'm just gonna do some real

  • loose braids. It still looks cute, right? S: You're a cute girl -- M: Looks cute~ -- I like your little braids!

  • M: So I'm gonna try to do one more on this side here.

  • A lot of people have been asking me about what this like blue, sticky stuff they see on my knees and legs are.

  • And it's KT tape, which is like a athletic wrap or athletic tape. Doesn't cure it.

  • It doesn't make it feel like super better, but it keeps me from damaging it /more/.

  • Mobility aids: These are all different types of aids that are important to help you out, and I used to be really embarrassed to wear these out.

  • This is so ugly! I asked them if they had it in black or white, and they're like, [in accent] "No, only skin color beige!"

  • Ugh. Anyways, so I added some Sailor Moon charms that I got from some of you nasties in the mail.

  • But it like doesn't even - I can't even draw on it. It's just so ugly. I'm trying real hard not to use a heavy bag

  • or something that will pull my shoulder throughout the day. This I can easily just sling over here. Alright, I think we're ready to go!

  • M: Butterfly!

  • M: You see him? S: It's a little butterfly in a rosemary plant. M: He's like omnomnomnom~

  • M: When I'm having my... like lowest of days, I try my absolute hardest

  • to look at things around me and try to observe some thing that's like

  • interesting or cool or beautiful. Like this Morning Glory plant, like climbing up and just spilling over.

  • And like this butterfly eating. If I just walk like constantly and I just think inside my own head that I'm just like

  • looking inside myself and seeing all this darkness. So I try to like

  • turn the spotlight and face it outwards, so that I can see things that are like cool or pretty or nice.

  • So that's one of the big, strong things I try to do. And I'm lucky today that I can walk.

  • 'Cause you know, ducky, when I'm having a bad like leg or knee day -- S: Mhm.

  • M: You know, me taking a taxi or I'm not leaving at all or I have my cane. But now I can like walk and like observe some things.

  • M: Come observe with me~

  • M: That's a big boy!

  • M: A nice, salted salmon onigiri.

  • M: Made me really happy to open it up; felt like some big, happy childhood memories.

  • Added definitely a little rung to my ladder on this one.

  • Really hard to eat with one hand.

  • M: I strongly believe that it is extremely important to get out of the house, even if it's just going for a walk or going to the library or

  • going to a university campus or sitting in a coffee shop, observing people.

  • Seeing life existing outside of your own mind. Just so critical to your well-being.

  • I'm enjoying amazing coffee at Light Up Coffee, which is one of our favorite shops. A little bit of a walk from our house, but -

  • nice to get here. -sighs- Nice to enjoy, nice to look around.

  • -groans-

  • Ugh, so pooped.

  • So, just got home after my big adventure out.

  • I'm really happy that I went out. I think that my attitude changed a lot from the morning.

  • In the morning, I was just about to - just give up on everything.

  • And now I feel like I'm all tuckered out from an adventure day, where I just went for a simple walk around the block,

  • but I saw so many things and people - alive and people walking, and people in wheelchairs, and people on bikes, and...

  • And I feel really happy that I left the house and I had a really good onigiri.

  • But I have to know my limits, and my leg and knee and ankle started to hurt so I'm back home.

  • I got my pig hat on, and I got my ice packs, and I'm gonna start icing my body down, and maybe just watch a...

  • A funny TV show to make me feel happy.

  • -sigh- So

  • I hope you guys can see the importance of like the small things, helping you to build a ladder.

  • Even if you don't live in Japan and you don't live somewhere like that you think is super cool,

  • I think you can still get out there and start changing your perspective and start changing your mindset to see things in a different way.

  • You know, rub your toes on the grass, or, you know, walk to the convenience store and get a lollipop or a

  • popsicle or take the car, or call an Uber, or take your bike, you know.

  • Get out there and change your mind.

  • Don't keep your spotlight shining inwards in a dark, dark place and let it consume you.

  • Try to, try to turn that spotlight so that it shines out, and you start seeing the things that life has to offer you.

  • And you know what? You know you're gonna have another bad day.

  • It might be tonight. It might be tomorrow.

  • But at least you started to like build that ladder, to kind of get out of that pit.

  • So I hope this helped out with you guys. Let me know in the comments section any

  • tips that you do to help yourself build a ladder. What small things you do within your own house.

  • What you do with your body. What you do outside the house.

  • Umm, yeah. And I hope this video didn't make you guys feel too down, but I think it's important to share

  • some of my bad days with you, too, so that you guys can get an understanding that it's not --

  • it is not super easy. You know, I do struggle like you guys struggle, and I.. and I try to make myself positive and happy

  • so that you guys can also feel the positivity, so...

  • Pig hat and Martina out.

M: Hi ducky.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

A2 ladder pig hat pain build rung

How I Deal with Chronic Pain - Build A Ladder

  • 4 0
    Summer posted on 2020/08/14
Video vocabulary