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- Howdy, howdy brew lovers.
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Welcome to another episode of "The Juice."
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The only round table talk show that has round hosts.
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(Orange laughs)
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- Today's topic com courtesy of Mad attach G&A.
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If you could travel in time, where would you go and why?
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- My, what a timely question.
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(Orange laughs) (audience laughs)
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Now let's squeeze out some answers,
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'cause I wanna know: What's "The Juice?"
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(audience applauds)
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- If I could go back in time, I'd go back to last Thursday.
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A butterfly landed on a leaf, right outside my window.
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It was such a nice moment, yay!
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- Really, Marshmallow?
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You could pick any other time in history.
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- Oh, in that case, I'd pick yesterday!
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- Let me guess: 'Cause yesterday a puppy
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snuggled a kitten or something?
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- How'd you know? (Marshmallow cheers)
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- Well, I know where I'd go: June 24th, 1957.
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A date forever etched in my mind.
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I had just returned stateside from active duty,
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in the Southeast Asia.
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And as I stepped off the boat,
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who should I see but a tall drink of water,
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who goes by the name of Marilyn Monroe?
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Yes, the Marilyn Monroe!
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We locked eyes.
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There was a shared understanding in that moment,
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which was both physical and I'd even go
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out on a limb and say metaphysical.
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We conversed for an hour, perhaps two,
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touching on a range of topics.
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All of which Marilyn spoke to with ease and expertise.
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As we parted ways, she asked me
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for my landline phone number.
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Sure, no problem.
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I jotted it on my palm.
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But it was sweaty, yah see.
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I had that affect on women in those days.
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They'd catch the vapors from old Grandpa Lemon.
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And as soon as I finished, I saw the final
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one in my phone number smudge into the number seven.
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Marilyn was rushed off to some
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red carpet event by her handlers
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before I could correct the mistake.
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And that was that.
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She never called, because she couldn't call.
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I came to find out years later
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that Joe DiMaggio, who she married later that year,
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just so happen to have a phone number
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strikingly similar to mine!
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One digit off, in fact, ending in a seven, instead of a one.
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Quite the tale, yes?
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(audience applauds) - Woe!
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- Yeah, quite the tall tale!
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- I don't believe it for a moment.
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What do yah have to say to that, Grandpa Lemon?
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- It probably just seems that way to you
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'cause you know, you're so short.
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(Orange laughs loudly)
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- Nice one, Grandpa Lemon!
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- I'm surprised no one else has picked the future.
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That's where I'd time travel to.
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I wanna know where technology takes us as a society.
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I wanna know what scientific breakthroughs await us.
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- And I wanna see if the butterfly comes back tomorrow!
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(Marshmallow cheers)
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- I was thinking' a bit bigger, but yeah.
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That's a reason too.
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- The future?
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Please, why would I go to the future
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when I've already seen it?
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- Oh my gosh.
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Are you about to promote your EDM album again?
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- Hey, there's are sounds on this things
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you've never heard before people!
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This is the future, and the future is
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entitled the EP to end all EPs.
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Every sound in track seven was recorded
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by wild raccoons I let loose in the recording studio.
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Let's have a listen!
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- Let's not. (Marshmallow cheers)
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- Hey, dang, I only have like 10 of those!
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Ugh, anyway, it's an easy call for me.
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If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years
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and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.
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- It's not like you have much of a choice.
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That's the only floor you could reach.
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(Orange laughs)
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(Little Apple laughs) - Where would you
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time travel to, Orange?
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- Mm, probably five seconds ago.
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I kinda regret what I said to Little Apple just then.
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I wish I could say something else.
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- Aw, I appreciate that.
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Well, let's take it back then.
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If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years
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and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.
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- More like Bitty-coin once you get involve, am I right?
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(Orange laughs)
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- Orange, I thought you were going to apologize.
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- Why would I do that?
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- Nah, I just got a better idea for a joke is all.
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I have a reputation to maintain, you know?
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(Orange laughs)
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(Little Apple grunts)
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Oh, I just thought of an even better joke.
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Can we take it back again?
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- Absolutely not!
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(audience laughs) - Okay, okay!
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Everybody calm down, 'cause I have a surprise.
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Before the show, I contacted Dr. Bananas.
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And he actually made a real time machine.
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(audience applauds) Come on out, Dr. Bananas!
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(audience and panel cheers)
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- Yes, hello!
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Thank you for having me.
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This time machine is a single-use machine.
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So I'm afraid only one of you will be able to journey
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to your desired destination.
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(audience and Orange sighs)
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- We can only choose one?
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- My vote's for Grandpa Lemon.
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Partly, because I want 'em to be happy.
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And partly, because I don't believe
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his story about Marilyn Monroe for a second.
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(Grandpa Lemon snoring)
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(audience laughs)
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- Maybe we should wake 'em up.
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I mean, this could change the course of his entire life!
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- Wake up, Grandpa Lemon, wake up!
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(Grandpa Lemon snoring)
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(audience laughs)
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- Aye, wake up! - Don't worry,
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I got this!
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(whipping noise) Wake up!
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(audience laughs)
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(Grandpa Lemons snoring)
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Huh, he's out like a light,
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and he also out of luck.
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'Cause if he's not gonna use it I will!
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Woo hoo hoo hoo!
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- Wait!
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(machine engine revs)
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(racing lightspeed music)
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- Listen, it's an easy go for me.
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If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years
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and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.
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- At your size, maybe you should
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stick with Light-coin instead.
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(Orange and audience laughs)
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- Orange!
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(upbeat folk music)