Subtitles section Play video
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(phone chimes)
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- You're on Tinder?
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I thought you were dating Jessica.
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- She dumped me so I'm rebound swiping.
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- Oh.
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- Guys, I just matched with Emma Stone!
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- What?
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- I just matched with Emma Stone on Tinder.
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- No you didn't.
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That's a fake profile or a bot or something.
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- Yeah, there's no way it's the Emma Stone.
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- She just tweeted "I just matched with a guy that looks like Captain America."
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- Oh well it's definitely not Matt then.
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- "Before he takes the serum."
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- (screams) It's the Emma Stone!
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(group screaming)
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- I can't believe this!
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- I was delivering a package and I heard screaming.
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- He matched with Emma Stone.
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- The guy who orders male Spanx?
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- I like the way that they lift.
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Have you been opening my mail?
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- If this is true I'm living beneath my potential.
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I should be with Chris Hemsworth.
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I should be with Shaquille O'Neal.
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You seen these legs? That's right.
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You can keep that.
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- Okay, there has to be some sort of rational explanation.
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Matt, be honest.
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Is this some sort of Make A Wish situation?
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- Matthew...
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I just heard the news.
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I am so proud to call you my son.
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- Dad?
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I haven't seen you in like 10 years.
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- I know, but...
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You've never really given me a reason to visit you til now.
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- Okay, get out of here.
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- Can I sleep on your couch?
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- I'll unpack that later.
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Guys I'm beginning to think I can't do this.
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- Matthew look at me!
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I'm gay but if I matched with Emma Stone, I couldn't say no.
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- You're gay?
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- This isn't about me!
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- I feel like it should be.
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- Wait, is Emma Stone going blind?
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Is she depressed?
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Siri, has Emma Stone suffered any recent head trauma?
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- She sent a message.
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It says...
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"Hi."
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(group screaming)
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(intense music)
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- Oh man the tabloids are gonna eat this up.
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Emma Stone dates average man.
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- Below average.
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- Careful how you respond.
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She's way out of your league.
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Emma Stone is the New York Yankees and you are a blind man in Peru swinging a stick at a pigeon.
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- Forgive the intrusion my children but the Vatican's detected a great miracle in this vicinity.
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- Father, he just matched with Emmma Stone on Tinder.
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- With a face like that?
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Checkmate atheists.
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- Guys I think I flew too close to the sun.
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I have to call it off.
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(group screaming no)
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- Get his phone!
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- Stop him!
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(group screaming)
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- Not interested...
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Send.
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It was for the best.
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(phone chimes)
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It's not my phone.
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- It was me.
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I just matched with Emma Stone on Tinder.
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I don't even have Tinder.
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Thank you!
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(heavenly music)
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- Hey guys!
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Thank so much for watching that sketch and thanks to our friends at Purple for making it possible.
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Make sure you check out JK! Studios for more sketches just like this one.
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- Well guys, my Purple pillow just shipped.
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(gasping)
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- You're gonna have so much neck support.
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- I know.
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My memory foam pillow is hot garbage.
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- I know.
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Memory foam seriously makes you hot.
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But Purple's technology is really different.
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It cools you down and cradles your pressure points.
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It's pretty cool.
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- I've got a package for Matt from Purple.
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(group screams)