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  • - You keep moving and you're ruining the angle.

  • You're changing angles.

  • - I've gotta host the segment. - I'm trying to be

  • a good model for you,

  • as well as-- - Do it, do it.

  • This is as natural as I can do it.

  • - Oh no, no.

  • I'm going for a different angle.

  • (beep)

  • - I'm Iliza Shlesinger.

  • - Hey, Mark Wahlberg here.

  • I'm already deep into my portrait mode I'm drawing.

  • - And this is Portrait Mode with Harper's Bazaar.

  • We're gonna be drawing each other

  • perfectly anatomically correct to a T.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - The movie comes out March 6th on Netflix.

  • (ding)

  • Watch it seven times the first day,

  • six times the second day,

  • five times the third day.

  • - Is that March 6th on Netflix?

  • - No, no.

  • - Probably at midnight,

  • 'cause people always wanna know.

  • - Oh no.

  • You're gonna be mad at me.

  • You move too much.

  • (laughs)

  • - I'm trying to...

  • That's fine.

  • That's fine.

  • - You're sweet.

  • - You captured the nose,

  • which is the most expensive part of me.

  • - The craziest accidents happened on one of my sets.

  • Oh my god.

  • Actually, the worst thing that happened to me

  • was I had a clear earplug pushed

  • all the way underneath my eardrum

  • that was there for three weeks before

  • I had even realized it.

  • And my head was swollen up like that.

  • The perfect storm.

  • So that was the worst.

  • Oh no, I messed up your lips. - Can I see your eye?

  • Can you look at me?

  • Are they the same shape?

  • - I don't know.

  • How the (beep) do I know?

  • I can't see.

  • - Well you look at yourself the most.

  • - I don't know, I don't look at myself that much.

  • I look at what I'm looking at.

  • - [Interviewer] Who was the funniest person on set?

  • - Probably me.

  • You know what?

  • Alan. (ding)

  • Had some real zingers.

  • One morning we came into work

  • and someone was like,

  • "Alan, how are you this morning sir?"

  • And he just went,

  • "Worse."

  • I thought that was pretty great.

  • - One of the funnier moments with Alan was Winston,

  • I think it was our first scene together,

  • he comes to me and Alan and he goes,

  • "Oh, what are you guys hoping to get from this scene?"

  • And Alan goes,

  • "I want it to be over."

  • - Yeah, that was the gist of him the whole time.

  • He's like,

  • "I used to be an actor, I don't know what this is."

  • I'm giving you a lot of neck veins.

  • - [Mark] Nice.

  • - 'Cause they're not there now but I do think you have them.

  • Thick neck Wahlberg. (ding)

  • Here we go.

  • - [Interviewer] Can you share an on-stage story?

  • - An on-stage story.

  • We had a woman lose control of her bowels

  • in the 8th row one time and

  • it's a testament to the house crew

  • because they were able to swap out

  • the seat and get her out of there.

  • And there was a full explosion,

  • and I didn't know, and I was on stage.

  • I don't know.

  • Nobody wants to hear stories about

  • lighting cues gone awry or...

  • - Oh my god, that sounds so cool.

  • Tell me more about the lighting cues.

  • - Well this one time,

  • I made this joke about a ghost

  • and then the lights did flicker

  • and I was like, oh my god.

  • Come see me live.

  • Come see all this riveting story come to life.

  • - [Interviewer] One minute left.

  • - This is pretty good.

  • - I wanna sign my name on this one.

  • It's good enough for a museum somewhere.

  • Last little final touches, come on.

  • - [Iliza] I know, this is make or break.

  • I tried to pronounce your traps.

  • I'm making them...

  • - Trappy?

  • - Trappy. - [Interviewer] 10 seconds.

  • - Trappy traps.

  • - [Interviewer] Seven, six, five, four, three,

  • two... - Treasure this always.

  • (buzzer)

  • - Okay.

  • This is my picture of the lovely Iliza.

  • - I look like a character

  • on a deli menu. (ding)

  • - Well I'm doing the best I can.

  • - [Iliza] Okay, fine.

  • - Do you have to be offensive?

  • - It's offensive to look at.

  • (laughs)

  • Mine's so good.

  • - What?

  • Let's see this masterpiece.

  • - No, I wanna get the rest of your explanation.

  • - Lovely polka dots.

  • Beautiful smile.

  • Very alert eyes.

  • (Iliza laughs)

  • I don't think you're intoxicated,

  • even though you act it.

  • - That's your compliment is that I'm awake?

  • (laughs)

  • - It's all made from love.

  • - I'm definitely keeping that.

  • It's really bad but I'm keeping it.

  • - Oh my god.

  • - Okay.

  • This is our suspect.

  • - What the (beep).

  • - And this is the area.

  • I think you'll notice,

  • I pay homage to some great parts of you.

  • You got a great hairline.

  • - It's like Joe Rockhead from the Flintstones.

  • - You got a great hairline.

  • - It's terrible.

  • - You have tiny eyebrows.

  • You got a strong nose. - [Mark] Why do I

  • have nipples?

  • - 'Cause it was poking out of your shirt.

  • You'll notice the traps

  • are strong with this one. - I don't see any nipples.

  • - Well no, but in theory they would be.

  • In most women's fantasies they would be.

  • Your strong neck.

  • - Major Adam's apple.

  • - Adam's apple.

  • I gave you your chain.

  • - And a main jugular, nice.

  • - So I gave you a man-neck.

  • And those are your teeth.

  • And then your tiny mouth.

  • - So it looks like Frankie Muniz

  • on steroids. - It does.

  • A jacked Frankie Muniz.

  • - I love it.

  • I love it.

  • - This is pretty good.

  • This looks like a bad guy in Beavis and Butt-Head

  • but it's still pretty good.

  • And it's proportional.

  • - Was that one me?

  • - What is this line on my face?

  • - [Mark] I was trying to...

  • You were moving.

  • - How come I only have eyelashes on the left eye?

  • - Where? No, they're there.

  • Oh the bottom. - No, no.

  • It's time, you't can add it.

  • Pencils down.

  • Two hours in hair and makeup for that.

  • This has been Portrait Mode for Harper's Bazaar.

  • - One more time, a little more.

  • - No way. - Enunciate more.

  • - No way.

  • I'm doing all the heavy lifting here.

  • - Just one more.

  • - This has been Portrait Mode for Harper's Bazaar.

  • - That was good.

  • - And please watch Spenser Confidential on March 6th.

  • - Yeah, what she says.

  • - Despite the representation,

  • I am Iliza Shlesinger.

  • - I'm Mark Wahlberg.

  • - This is Mark Wahlberg.

  • This is the man you should be searching for.

  • - Look at the polka dots on the fingers.

  • See that was getting into that detail

  • but I didn't have enough time.

- You keep moving and you're ruining the angle.

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Mark Wahlberg & Iliza Shlesinger Roast Each Other's Portraits | Portrait Mode | Harper’s BAZAAR

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    Summer posted on 2020/07/30
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