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  • - Welcome fruit lovers!

  • I'm Pear, and-

  • - Cut, cut.

  • Let's try that again, this time with more emotion.

  • - More emotion?

  • Dude, I'm just introducing the video.

  • - Oh, wait, I misread that.

  • Not more emotion, more explosions.

  • (laughing)

  • Back to one.

  • - Ugh.

  • Anyway, I'm Pear, and this is Orange on a power trip.

  • - We're showing you how to direct a movie.

  • Watch and learn, people!

  • - As you can see, somebody thought it'd be a good idea

  • to give Orange a bullhorn and let him direct this episode.

  • - Release the doves, release the crew for lunch,

  • release your bowels.

  • (laughing)

  • Okay, back to one.

  • - Ugh, anyway, here goes nothing.

  • Step one, go through the script with a director's eye.

  • - This is total garbage!

  • Needs a complete rewrite.

  • - Um, dude, that is garbage.

  • The script is over here.

  • - Oh.

  • Hey, I just had a brilliant idea for the new ending.

  • Single tear will roll down our lead actor's cheek.

  • - Wow, well that's an improvement over

  • the usual TNT explosion ending.

  • - Yeah, Pear, this is serious art we're doing here.

  • Back to one!

  • - Do you even know what "back to one" means?

  • You sure are saying it a lot.

  • - You think this is easy, Pear?

  • I'm wearing a turtleneck, and I don't even have a neck.

  • (laughing)

  • - Uh, the next step a director should take

  • is to plan out your shots.

  • - Okay, so we'll have a crane shot,

  • followed by a crane shot, followed by a crane shot,

  • followed by-

  • - Lemme guess, another crane shot.

  • - (scoffs) please.

  • Shot number four is a slime shot.

  • - What the heck is a- (screaming)

  • - Perfect!

  • Moving onto shot number five, another crane shot!

  • (laughing)

  • - Ugh, okay.

  • Step three is to get the most out of your actors.

  • - (Orange) Um, Pear, I'm sorry to inform you,

  • but you've been recast.

  • We're bringing in someone else to play the role of Pear.

  • - What?

  • Who could play Pear better than me?

  • - Daniel Day-Lewis.

  • - Okay, that's fair.

  • - Okay, that's fair.

  • - Are you just copying what I say?

  • - Indeed, it's how I learn your ways.

  • - Ugh.

  • - Ugh.

  • - Stop it.

  • - Stop it.

  • - Orange.

  • - Orange.

  • - Ah.

  • - Orange, I'm worried this character might be too boring.

  • Mind if I spice him up a little bit?

  • I'm thinking something along the lines of,

  • "Hello, fruit lovers!

  • I'm Pear, and welcome to how to."

  • - Wow, that was perfect.

  • Brilliant! (audience cheering)

  • That's a wrap, cut.

  • Back to one.

  • Let's get loud.

  • - Uh, not so fast, Orange.

  • There's still step four.

  • Once filming is complete, the director still needs

  • to oversee the editing process.

  • - Ah, do I have to?

  • I really just liked yelling at people with a bullhorn.

  • - Orange, you have to keep an eye on the editors.

  • They're a weird bunch.

  • If you don't watch them like a hawk, who knows

  • what kinda crazy things they might slip in?

  • - Like what?

  • - [Pear] Well, you're blue now, for one thing,

  • but seems like that might be the least of your worries.

  • - Ah, oh no, I lost control.

  • I've failed as a director.

  • Pear, how do I get things back on track?

  • - Just make sure the video ends the way you planned.

  • The single tear, remember?

  • - That's right, the single tear.

  • Editor, fix my mistakes, we've (indistinct)

  • Make him sadder, sadder I say!

  • Ah, can't you fix this?

  • I'm telling you, we need more emotion.

  • Oh wait, I misread that, I need more explosion.

  • - Hey, I could do that.

  • No sweat, boss.

  • (explosion) (laughing) - Nooo!

  • (upbeat music)

- Welcome fruit lovers!

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HOW2: How to Direct a Movie!

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    Summer posted on 2020/07/30
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