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  • - New York City is the only city I've lived in

  • where people fight subway trains and win.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Like, any other city on the planet,

  • when the train doors start to close, (beeping)

  • that means that train is departed.

  • Okay, you're supposed to shut up

  • and wait patiently for the next train.

  • Oh, not in New York.

  • In New York, if you can slip a piece of paper

  • in between those doors.

  • One millimeter of space,

  • that's all you need.

  • You got a fighting chance.

  • People take it for granted now,

  • strolling up to closing train doors

  • in New York, just uppercutting them

  • in that black rubber part

  • like that's the personal open button

  • for every commuter on the train.

  • Just bam.

  • This train aint' leaving

  • 'til I get on board.

  • Where's my ticket?

  • Right here buddy.

  • My first week in New York,

  • I was on this crowded subway train

  • and it was packed.

  • All the way to the doors.

  • Right, I'm on the train

  • and it's packed all the way to the doors

  • and the doors start closing in front of me.

  • And as the doors start closing,

  • this guy walks up to the closing train doors

  • and just jams his fingers.

  • Just right into the door.

  • No regard...

  • for his limbs or appendages.

  • Like his need to get on this train

  • exceeded his need to grip things.

  • He did a cost/benefit analysis in his head.

  • And he was like, you know what?

  • This is overrated.

  • Who needs this motion?

  • Who needs this point of articulation, right?

  • Let's get on this train.

  • My life will be perfect.

  • So just create enough of a gap

  • to start fighting

  • and he fights this train for eight seconds.

  • He just fights it to a stalemate.

  • OK? It's a judge's decision.

  • He can't move, the train can't move.

  • No one can move.

  • And after eight seconds,

  • he gets tired, he starts gassing out.

  • So he uses his head

  • to jam up the door.

  • Like a door stop.

  • As he readjusts his grip, right?

  • He starts chalkin' up his hands

  • for round two.

  • And I'm standing there,

  • just facing the top of his oily scalp.

  • Just thinking yo man,

  • just let it go, all right?

  • I'm new in town.

  • I'm not sure if I'm supposed to help you

  • or if we're both gonna get arrested.

  • Okay, I don't know the social etiquette in this situation.

  • All I know is there's a train in three minutes.

  • It's the A-C-E line in Manhattan.

  • All right, if you let this go,

  • we will all get to where we need to get to go to quicker.

  • But he's like no, this is the one, man.

  • This is the last train ever.

  • And he fought the train,

  • for like four more seconds,

  • and he won.

  • He won, the train tapped out.

  • Train was like all right.

  • Gotta respect your ground game and just full mount

  • to omoplata is out of control.

  • Anyone else want to run in here at the last minute?

  • It's not a schedule to keep or anything.

  • And that's the problem with America.

  • Right there.

  • Too many civil liberties.

  • It's too much freedom here.

  • You guys took your bill of rights and just ran with it.

  • That shit would never fly in Malaysia.

  • Where I'm from in Malaysia,

  • you stick your hand in the door,

  • the doors close,

  • you get dragged for like a mile.

  • You get brought to your knees by the system.

  • As the train runs over you,

  • it starts going after your family.

  • Right?

  • Start like bleeding out on the tracks.

  • The doors open.

  • We all walk over your dead corpse.

  • Yeah, that's what you get you dumb fuck.

  • Not in America.

  • In America, one man can stop the entire train line.

  • Because everyone can make a difference.

- New York City is the only city I've lived in

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Ronny Chieng Saw A Man Fight A NYC Subway Train | Netflix Is A Joke

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    VM3 posted on 2020/07/28
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