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  • - In America, never leave your house.

  • (audience laughs)

  • Land of the free and land of never leaving your house.

  • (audience laughs)

  • No item too trivial.

  • (audience laughs)

  • No quantity too small

  • (audience laughs)

  • to be hand delivered into your home like an emperor.

  • (audience laughs) Anything.

  • Anything in the world that comes to mind.

  • Any fleeting thought you have while drunk.

  • Anything. (retches) (audience laughs)

  • I want one pen. (audience laughs)

  • I want one, I don't want a box. I want just one pen.

  • I want it in a box with some plastic.

  • Throw some napkins in there (audience laughs)

  • in another box in a bigger box.

  • (audience laughs)

  • 50 million boxes flying across America at all times.

  • The airspace above America is just Amazon Prime.

  • (microphone thuds) (audience laughs)

  • Packaging just knocking into each other

  • like satellite debris.

  • More, more Prime.

  • Can't get enough Prime here.

  • (audience laughs) You need it Prime.

  • We need Prime harder, faster, stronger!

  • (audience laughs) Faster Prime.

  • Prime Now! (audience laughs)

  • Prime Now.

  • Two hour delivery! (audience laughs)

  • Prime now.

  • Give it to me.

  • Now. (audience laughs)

  • When I press buy, put the item in my hand.

  • (audience laughs) (audience applauds)

  • Now.

  • In America, there should be no lag,

  • zero lag, (audience laughs)

  • between when I press the button

  • and when the item is gently placed into my hand

  • so I can use it.

  • Now. (audience laughs)

  • Oh, same day delivery?

  • (Ronnie yells) (audience laughs)

  • Un-American. (audience laughs)

  • Same day?

  • (Ronnie retches) (audience laughs)

  • Now. (audience laughs)

  • Prime now.

  • Break into my house (audience laughs)

  • and put the food I ordered in my mouth

  • (audience laughs)

  • and help me chew it.

  • And then push it down my esophagus with a stick

  • and then pull the feces

  • (audience laughs) out of my anus for me.

  • Now.

  • It's like, where do we go from here

  • (audience laughs) as a civilization?

  • How much more convenience can we get?

  • How much less energy can we use

  • (audience laughs)

  • to get what we want?

  • Let's get Prime before. (audience laughs)

  • Send it to me before I want it.

  • (audience laughs)

  • It's 2019, I have to make a decision

  • before you mail me what I buy?

  • Use artificial intelligence

  • (audience laughs)

  • to substitute my own intelligence

  • (audience laughs)

  • so I can live my life.

  • Send me everything I want before I want it

  • in as many boxes as possible. (audience laughs)

- In America, never leave your house.

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A2 US prime item amazon prime america lag ronnie

Ronny Chieng Thinks Amazon Prime Is Too Slow | Netflix Is A Joke

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    VM3 posted on 2020/07/28
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