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-Welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.
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During what continues to be a very turbulent time,
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I just want to say to everyone out there protesting
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or people going back to work during quarantine,
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please stay safe.
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And we appreciate you.
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We have a great show tonight.
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The co-hosts of "Queer Eye" are on the show tonight.
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And their new season just came out on Netflix.
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And we saw episode one, and it is just great.
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They are just -- it's -- it's almost --
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it's comforting, but it's heartbreaking.
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It's beautiful. It's great.
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And that was only halfway through it.
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-Oh, yeah. -Yeah, even to the end
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is just -- yeah. It's fantastic.
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But we love all of those guys, so they're on the show tonight,
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as well as Christian Slater,
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who has a new show on USA, Tuesdays, at 10:00.
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And, honey, you'll like it.
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It's, like, season two of "Dirty John."
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It's a real -- -Oh, I'm in.
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-Yep. And then our music tonight,
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she's unbelievable.
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And Sia is on the show tonight.
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-Oh. -Yeah.
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She has a motion picture called "Music,"
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and the song's called "Together."
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And Sia is one -- I wish -- you know, I miss seeing
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these people and being in front of these singers.
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'Cause it's people like Sia that --
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And musicians will know what I'm talking about --
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She almost doesn't need a microphone
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when she's performing.
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She's so good and, like, projecting, and it's like, wow!
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It's powerful.
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And I'm always like, "Wow. Were you even using the mic?"
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'Cause she fills up the whole room.
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And I remember even her doing "Chandelier,"
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I want to say, and I was like,
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"You're not gonna hit those notes."
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It was like -- [ Whistling ]
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I can't even whistle it, what she was singing.
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♪ Chandelier ♪ And she hit all the notes,
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and I was like, "Ah!" She is just amazing.
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So, what a great show tonight.
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And thank you so much, again, for watching.
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Let's get to some news.
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Well, you guys, it's another rough week for President Trump.
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Though at this point, I can just say,
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"Well, you guys, it's another week for President Trump."
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CNN just released a new poll yesterday,
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and it doesn't look too good for the President.
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-President Trump's approval rating is the lowest
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it's been since January of last year.
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That's according to a new CNN poll
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that shows the President slipping amid a chaotic week.
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Only 38% approve of the job he is doing.
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That is down 7 points since just last month.
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-Ouch. Right now, the only thing
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lower than Trump's approval rating
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is his underground bunker.
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38%, to put that in perspective, more people approved
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of Lay's cappuccino-flavored potato chips.
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Cappuccino-flavored potato chips.
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Incidentally, 38% is the same ratio of chips to air
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in every bag of Lay's potato chips.
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It's bad. Right now, even the "New York Times"
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op-ed section has more fans.
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[ Chuckles ]
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You know how I know things are bad?
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Earlier today, Don Jr. changed his name to Eric.
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[ Laughs ]
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And now Trump wants to improve his numbers
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by getting his campaign team from 2016 back together.
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Trump was like, "We can do it. They're all out of prison now.
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So..."
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Speaking of Trump's campaign,
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it looks like he's ready to get back out on the road.
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-And now the President is planning
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to get back out on the trail.
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His campaign says they're looking to resume
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those big rallies in the next two weeks,
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despite concerns about the pandemic.
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-Don't worry. Just to be safe,
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everyone gets injected with bleach on the way in and out.
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So...
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Actually, Trump said that they're being smart.
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He was like, "When the rally ends,
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everyone will have to stay in the arena
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for two weeks of quarantine."
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So, that's fair, right?
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Meanwhile, just when it seemed like things
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couldn't get any more upsetting,
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Trump took to Twitter this morning
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to offer a conspiracy theory
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of the police-brutality incident in Buffalo.
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He said that the 75-year-old man who was shoved by the police
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could be an ANTIFA provocateur.
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And, "I watched. He fell harder than was pushed.
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Could be a setup?"
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Yeah, it's pretty interesting that this guy
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is giving a lesson on gravity, from a man who stands like this.
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It's almost like he's, like, free falling,
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like one of those flying squirrel guys.
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♪ Defying gravity ♪
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Um...
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After receiving criticism from both Democrats and Republicans
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for that exact tweet, Trump followed up by tweeting,
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"Make America great again."
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'Cause when the new stuff bombs, you got to go with the hits.
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Well, I saw that Daniel Radcliffe
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released a statement condemning J.K. Rowling's
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controversial tweets about trans people.
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Many people have been surprised about her views,
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but I don't know. If you go back and read
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the "Harry Potter" books, it kind of makes sense.
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There's a character that I forgot totally about.
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There's Hermione, Ron, Harry, and, of course,
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there was the fourth friend that I forgot called Whimpleton.
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I totally --
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Well, here's a couple excerpts from the audiobooks.
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Should make more sense. Listen.
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♪♪
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-"We have to stop Professor Snape
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from getting the Babbling Thwoggit!"
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exclaimed Harry.
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"Grab your wands!" cried Hermione.
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"I'm just gonna say it. I'm not totally sold
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on this whole 'trans' thing," said Whimpleton.
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"Not the time, Whimpleton!" yelled Harry. "Wow!"
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"Use the Portkey to get to the Jackalion!"
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declared Hermione.
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"What kind of creature is that?" inquired Ron.
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"Does it have claws and sharp teeth?" queried Harry.
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"And is it a boy or a girl?
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It has to be one, not neither or both," said Whimpleton.
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"Whimpleton, literally no one asked for your opinion here!"
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shouted the group.
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"We've only found 16 of the cursed Nobbilynooks!"
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Ron gasped.
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"We have to hurry!" bellowed Harry.
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"But wait!" Whimpleton halted.
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"Can I just say, the thing about menstruation is --"
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He never got to finish his sentence,
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as Hermione pulled out her wand
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and transfigured him into a tea cozy
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And at last, Whimpleton was useful.
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But people are thanking Daniel Radcliffe
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for speaking out against J.K. Rowling's tweets.
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It's an easy issue to get wrong,
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so just so everyone's on the same page,
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here's a complete list of all the things
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people want to hear J.K. Rowling's take on.
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♪♪
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-Wizards.
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♪♪