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  • -We are here on a Sunday. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • You know, after spending 12 hours on Thanksgiving

  • eating, drinking, and watching football,

  • it was nice to relax today with 12 hours of

  • eating, drinking, and watching football.

  • There were some big matchups today.

  • You had Oakland versus Kansas City,

  • San Francisco versus Baltimore,

  • and Americans versus their bathroom scale.

  • Americans lost.

  • But tonight on NBC,

  • the New England Patriots played the Houston Texans.

  • That's right.

  • For the Texans, it was the biggest game of the year.

  • For the Patriots, it was a short layover in Houston

  • on the way to the Super Bowl.

  • -Oh. -But this is cool.

  • I read that the Houston Texans have one of

  • the biggest jumbotrons in the NFL.

  • Even crazier, they bought it on Black Friday for a 100 bucks.

  • Good deal. -Wow.

  • -It's officially the holiday season,

  • and everyone is in the spirit.

  • Even the Jets gifted the Bengals their first win of the season.

  • That's right -- earlier today,

  • the winless Cincinnati Bengals played the New York Jets.

  • When fans in Cincinnati yelled, "You suck,"

  • both teams were like, "Wait.

  • Are you yelling that at us or them?

  • Them? Us? We're good. Either way, we're good."

  • This is strange. Did you hear about this?

  • Ever since a black cat ran onto the field

  • during Monday Night Football a month ago,

  • teams with cat names are 0-12 heading into today.

  • Yeah. This only proves one thing --

  • that there's a stat guy who definitely

  • didn't bring a date home for Thanksgiving.

  • -Would you look at this? -There's a...

  • Meanwhile today, the Giants hosted

  • the Green Bay Packers for a game in the snow in New Jersey.

  • You could tell it was cold when both quarterbacks

  • had their hand under the center's butt

  • even during the commercials.

  • -Really?

  • -But the weather was brutal today with snow, ice, and rain,

  • slowing down one of the busiest travel days of the year.

  • Flight delays ranged between one hour

  • and "The Irishman" on Netflix.

  • -Oh.

  • -I read that about 30 million people flew for Thanksgiving.

  • Sounds like a lot until you realize

  • 50 million booked tickets.

  • -Oh.

  • -Yeah, travel was crazy all week long.

  • I heard that the day before Thanksgiving,

  • a woman actually gave birth on an American Airlines flight.

  • While it was happening, the guy next to her

  • was like, "You know what?

  • I will buy those headphones."

  • Some 2020 news.

  • During a speech in Iowa yesterday,

  • Jill Biden was introducing her husband,

  • and something a little strange happened.

  • Take a look.

  • -And when they cut to the

  • President of the United States...

  • -It got worse when she pulled her finger out

  • and his teeth were still attached.

  • I mean, it was awful.

  • Meanwhile, everyone is talking about this.

  • All weekend, people have been memeing this shot

  • of Baby Yoda sipping soup

  • in the latest episode of "The Mandalorian."

  • Take a look at him here. Aww.

  • While some classic memes aren't too sure

  • about this new meme on the block.

  • Check out what they had to say.

  • Kermit said, "Not the first green-guy-sipping meme

  • I've seen, but that's none of my business."

  • Willy Wonka said, "Oh, so, a little magical man

  • likes warm drinks?

  • How very original."

  • And, finally, Joe Biden said, "Am I doing it right?

  • Am I doing the meme right?"

  • -That's malarkey. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Finally, guys -- I don't know if you heard this,

  • but health officials... [ Laughter ]

  • You might have heard that. I don't know.

  • Health officials are warning people

  • not to store Thanksgiving leftovers for too long,

  • because they can get unsafe to eat.

  • But, as for me...

  • ♪ I'm holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • ♪ I'm holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • If I eat it, I get E. coli

  • If I eat it, I will die

  • If I enjoy it, I'm a happy guy

  • Will I kill bacteria if its fried? ♪

  • Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • Everybody, sing along!

  • Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -That's right. Come on.

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Turkey sandwich

  • -♪ Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • Holding out for one more Turkey sandwich

  • -We have a great show! Give it up for The Roots!

-We are here on a Sunday. [ Cheers and applause ]

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B2 TheTonightShow turkey sandwich holding thanksgiving football

Jimmy Recaps Thanksgiving, Sunday Night Football and Sings Some Leftover Advice

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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