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  • -Listen to this.

  • A new coffee shop just opened

  • in Seattle called DreamBoyz Espresso,

  • where all the baristas are buff, shirtless guys.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Best part is you can order your coffee tall, grande,

  • or Magic Mike XXL. It's great.

  • -Oh, oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Colin, Michael Che.

  • -Jimmy. -What's up?

  • -Jimmy. -What's going on?

  • -A coffee shop with shirtless baristas

  • and that's the best you got, really?

  • -Tell him, Che.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Jost, Che, what?

  • You guys you think you can do better than that?

  • -Oh, we know we can. Probably.

  • -Well, you know what that means?

  • It is time for a good old-fashioned

  • "Tonight Show" joke-off.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • I think we all know the rules.

  • One more time, a new coffee shop just opened in Seattle

  • called DreamBoyz Espresso,

  • where all the baristas are buff, shirtless guys.

  • And go.

  • -Beep, beep, beep.

  • It's 3 bucks for a coffee

  • and 50 bucks for them to grind your bean.

  • -Alright, that's good, that's good.

  • Meep.

  • Shirtless baristas -- This is great news for everyone

  • who wishes the strip club played more Norah Jones.

  • Sorry. [ Laughter ]

  • -Beep, beep, beep! Trust me.

  • You don't want to see how they draw a heart in your foam.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Eh!

  • Every customer was like, "I'll take one cup of Joe-y."

  • -Beep.

  • -All the baristas are buff, shirtless guys?

  • "I can't wait to check it out," said the health inspector.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Beep, beep, beep!

  • -Said Colin, "Please don't tell Scarlett you saw me here."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Eh!

  • The Wi-Fi password

  • is bow-chicka-wow-wow underscore 69.

  • -Beep!

  • But I don't recommend this place if you have a nut allergy.

  • -Oh! Stop, stop, stop, stop.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Alright, alright, alright, alright.

  • -Kids are watching this.

  • -I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one.

  • Alright, here's the next story.

  • Several big alcohol companies

  • say they're working on developing drinkable marijuana.

  • And go.

  • -Oh, beep!

  • And somehow it still gives you cotton mouth.

  • -Beep, beep, beep.

  • Of course, all marijuana is drinkable

  • when the cops pull you over.

  • -Eh!

  • Meanwhile, Natural Ice said

  • they're still trying to develop drinkable beer.

  • -Beep, beep!

  • They even got a catchy name for it -- Snoop Dogg's Urine.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Beep, beep, beep.

  • If you want to know what drinkable marijuana tastes like,

  • just take a sip out of Che's mug right now.

  • -Yes. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • I'll give him that one.

  • -It's for my glaucoma.

  • -Oh, you have glaucoma?

  • -Glaucoma, yeah, yeah, yeah. Helps him read, yeah.

  • -Alright, Jost, you got that one.

  • Alright, last story here.

  • Iggy Azalea says her upcoming shows will have a twerk pit.

  • Go.

  • -Beep, beep.

  • As in "I entered the twerk pit and nine months later,

  • you were born."

  • -Beep, beep, beep!

  • That's insane. Iggy Azalea has upcoming shows?

  • [ Laughter, audience groans ]

  • -Wow.

  • -Alright, well, it's a twerk pit, twerk pit, alright.

  • Eh! Fans were like, "Of course, the person with the tallest ass

  • is right in front of me."

  • -Beep, beep!

  • A twerk pit sounds cool, but I bet it smells terrible.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Beep, beep, beep.

  • Okay, sure, right.

  • But when I started twerk pit, I'm banned from Chuck E' Cheese.

  • -Yeah.

  • Eh!

  • So, if you hear people clapping, that's not hands.

  • There you are, everybody!

  • -Colin Jost, Michael Che, everybody!

  • Thank you, guys.

-Listen to this.

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C1 ADV beep beep beep twerk pit shirtless che

Joke-Off with Michael Che and Colin Jost

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    林宜悉   posted on 2020/07/03
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