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  • -Hi, everybody. Thank you so much

  • for tuning in to "The Tonight Show."

  • I really appreciate it.

  • What a show we have tonight, honey --

  • all the people here tonight --

  • Pierce Brosnan, Nicole Richie.

  • We have Will Ferrell. We have Kristen Wiig.

  • -Yeah. -Oh, yeah.

  • We have Blackpink on the show tonight.

  • The biggest -- that's like the biggest pop group

  • in the world right now.

  • It's amazing. Amazing, fun show.

  • A lot to get into. Let's get to some jokes.

  • Well, guys, the coronavirus is still spreading

  • across the country, and it feels like

  • we're actually going backwards.

  • Yeah, things are so bad, the White House decided

  • to get the band back together.

  • -For the first time in two months,

  • the White House Coronavirus Task Force

  • held a briefing in Washington this afternoon.

  • -Yeah, you can tell it's been a long, stressful two months

  • because Dr. Fauci opened the briefing

  • by lighting up a Marlboro Red 100.

  • [ Inhales ] "Questions?"

  • That's right, they finally got together.

  • I had no idea, but Trump actually

  • assembles the task force

  • by blowing into an empty jug of bleach.

  • [ Imitates horn blowing ]

  • Task force?

  • Yeah, Mike Pence talked about what's being done

  • to control the virus, then immediately after,

  • Trump gave the rebuttal.

  • "We're not doing any of that." "No, this is not a debate.

  • There's no rebuttal. Sorry, guys.

  • Everyone go home. Just turn his mic off."

  • It was an interesting briefing.

  • Pence kicked it off with a moment of silence

  • for all the approval rating points Trump's lost

  • in the past three months.

  • Can we see the Coronavirus Task Force from earlier today?

  • They look like the world's saddest barbershop quartet.

  • Everyone in the photo is wearing a mask except Pence.

  • He's just reminding you that he's the bad boy of the group.

  • Look, the Trump administration has failed to control

  • the pandemic, but hopefully now they're waking up

  • and doing the right thing.

  • Let's see what they've been working on.

  • -The Trump administration formally asking

  • the Supreme Court to overturn the Affordable Care Act.

  • Now, if successful, this could leave up to 23 million Americans

  • without coverage.

  • -Even the coronavirus is like, "That ain't right.

  • I mean, look, I've been with you guys.

  • I'm giving you -- but that's just...

  • It's cruel, it's insane."

  • They want to take away health care

  • in the middle of a pandemic.

  • Even worse, they also want to take away Netflix,

  • puzzles, and toilet paper.

  • Well, good luck with this pandemic, everyone.

  • Meanwhile, yesterday Joe Biden was asked

  • what he would do differently regarding the pandemic

  • if he were president.

  • Here's what he had to say.

  • -The one thing we do know,

  • these masks make a gigantic difference.

  • I would insist that everybody on public

  • be wearing that mask.

  • Anyone to reopen would have to make sure

  • that they walked into a business

  • that had masks.

  • -Masks are for our safety.

  • Biden shouldn't have to say any of that stuff.

  • It's like begging the public, please wear oven mitts

  • when taking out a casserole out of an oven.

  • Please, just like...

  • Well, guys, the 4th of July is right around the corner

  • and it looks like Trump plans on celebrating the holiday

  • with a fireworks spectacular at Mount Rushmore.

  • It will be fun when Trump gets to Mount Rushmore

  • and says, "This is beautiful.

  • Now where do I put the quarters so they sing?

  • All the presidents on Mount Rushmore are excited

  • about the fireworks show -- well, except for Lincoln.

  • [ Popping ] "What was that?

  • You're kidding me, right?"

  • Looks like Trump isn't the only one traveling,

  • as Mike Pence kicked off his Faith in America tour

  • with his own rally in Wisconsin this week.

  • And judging by the commercial I saw, I think he's really

  • trying to appeal to younger voters.

  • Take a look at this. -What's up, America?

  • You ready to cut loose and let it all hang out this summer?

  • Well, that's perfect, because

  • Mike Pence is coming to your town

  • on his Faith in America 2020 Summer Tour.

  • Get ready to be totally rocked with wholesome low-key events

  • for the entire family.

  • We're talking an all you can drink water station.

  • You will be so clear headed and hydrated,

  • your parents will be calling you for a ride home.

  • We got the hottest merch to wear to church.

  • Wrinkle-free button-down shirt? Hell, yeah!

  • I'll take one in white, one in off-white,

  • and one in eggshell -- all the colors.

  • The first 100 attendees will also get

  • official Mike Pence pants.

  • Bitch, pleats!

  • And then it's time to head inside a tightly packed space

  • with no masks for the main event,

  • a three-hour monotone speech by the big dog himself.

  • [ Barks ]

  • It's the Faith in America 2020 Summer Tour.

  • Get your tickets today.

  • Yah! [ Whip cracks ]

  • -Some business news. I don't know about this.

  • I saw that Pizza Hut Taiwan has a new ramen pizza.

  • Check it out.

  • That pretty much looks like 2020 on a plate.

  • When you order it, the person on the phone just asks,

  • "Are you okay?"

  • Stoners are like, "I'm high, but I'm not that high."

  • I don't know what that thing is.

-Hi, everybody. Thank you so much

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Mike Pence Refuses to Wear Mask at Coronavirus Briefing | The Tonight Show

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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