Not -- Not well.

And I know you've been playing since you were in high school.

-Yeah. -I heard that,

and you said not well,

but that's the realities of golf, isn't it?

-I'm consistently bad. Yeah. [ Laughter ]

-We should definitely get a game.

-We should play. I love the game.

It's great. I'm never going to get good.

-I'm not -- I'm not -- I'm not good, either.

-I don't think I even want to be good.

-We gave up. You were -- But who told you?

Someone told me. I was like 48.

I was with Jack Nicholson, old friend,

and we were at tennis, and Jack said,

he said, "Mikey, we should take up golf.

We can do that for the rest of our life.

We can't do tennis." -Yeah.

-And so we took it off and never got better.

[ Laughter ] Never got better.

-Never got better. But who do you golf with though?

I saw you golf with Trump. You golf with Alice Cooper?

-Yeah, I get around. -How was --

[ Laughter ] -I get around.

I golf -- been a while since I golfed with the Donald.

Been a long time. -How is he as a golfer?

-He's pretty good,

but probably not quite as good as he thinks he is.

[ Laughter ]

-That sounds about right. That sounds about right.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Sounds about right. How about --

-He's not bad. -How about Alice Cooper?

-Alice Cooper's good. Alice Cooper's really good.

-You would think. He's a rock 'n' roll legend.

-Well, yeah, yeah. But he's --

You know, he's clean and sober. He finishes his shows, boom.

Early to bed, up early,

lives out there in the desert, you know.

Likes to get up early, play.

He's a single -- single-digit guy.

-I'd love to play with you whenever you want to play.

I know you do a charity thing -- -Let's do it, man.

Yeah, I do a charity tournament, but, I mean, love to do it.

That'd be great. -That'd be great.

It sounds like you're lying, but, yeah, I would love to --

[ Laughter ]

Never gonna invite me to golf. -No, I would.

No, no, I would. -Yeah, you stuttered.

You weren't even looking at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

"I'll get your number. I'll get your number."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ Laughter ]

You have two projects I want to talk to you about on Netflix.

They're giant. I want to talk about

"Kominsky Method," but first, "Green Eggs and Ham."

You have a voice -- -"Green Eggs and Ham."

I am. I'm Sam.

-Sam I am. -You guys know

"Green Eggs and Ham," Dr. Seuss?

[ Cheers and applause ] There you go.

November 8th.

-November 8th. -November 8th.

Animated version of "Green Eggs and Ham"

with Diane Keaton and some other wonderful actors.

-Fantastic. [ Cheers and applause ]

I love that.

-I play guy, the mean guy. -You're the mean guy?

-Yeah. Typecasting, man. -Oh, come on.

How does the nicest guy play a mean guy? Please...

"Kominsky Method," you were really funny.

But I always thought you were funny.

-Oh, thank you. -But this is

like a sitcom world. Is it Chuck Lorre?

-Chuck Lorre, such a good writer,

and Al Higgins, your -- -Yeah.

-Your Steven's brother. -Yeah, Steve's brother.

-Is one of the writers, too. And I'm loving it.

Just really good writing, great cast, Alan Arkin.

This year we got some wonderful additions.

You know Paul Reiser? -I love Paul Reiser.

-Paul Reiser's great. A brilliant idea, my daughter --

plays my daughter's boyfriend.

And I find out that she got a boyfriend that's close

to my age, her father's age.

You know, so it's -- -That's Paul Reiser?

-That's Paul Reiser. -Oh, my goodness.

-I have an ex-wife, an ex-wife, Kathleen Turner.

-No! -Yes, we're gonna go back

to "The War of the Roses." -"Romancing the Stone"!

-Right, "Romancing the Stone." -Oh, wow!

-It's the ex-wife. She'll be that.

Jane Seymour's in the opening episode, Alan's girlfriend.

-You can't beat that.

-Yeah, so it's been a lot of fun.

I'm enjoying it. And it opens this weekend.

-You're getting all these awards for it.

-Yeah, gotten awards for it.

October 25th. October 25th, yeah.

This Friday, we start our new season.

-That's great. I want to show everyone a clip.

Here's Michael Douglas in season two of "The Kominsky Method."

Take a look at this.

-[ Sighs ] -Hello, Norman.

-Good. You're up.

-It's 9:30. -So dig this.

Madeleine lives in Santa Barbara,

and she invited me to come up for the weekend.

-Did you just say, "Dig this?"

-Did I? Blame it on the Montrachet.

Anyway, Santa Barbara -- what do you think?

-What difference does it make what I think?

-True, but I still want to discuss it.

Are you eating? -Yeah.

-Could you stop? It sounds terrible.

-I'm having my dinner. -This late?

You're gonna get acid reflux.

-That'll taste better than what I'm eating.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Michael Douglas, everybody!