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  • -Now a report claims that Trump wants

  • Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney out, and he has floated

  • Kellyanne Conway as a replacement.

  • -Boo! -Boo!

  • This monologue is offensive. -I'm sorry. What's that?

  • -It's us, the Lucas bros, and we're deeply offended.

  • -I didn't even get to the punch line yet.

  • -Oh, it's not the joke. It's the entire monologue.

  • -That right. It offends our people.

  • -Your people? -Yes, Jimmy, twins.

  • -Mm-hmm.

  • -We're radical twin activists sent here by the Twin-AACP.

  • -I'm sorry. The what? -The Twin-AACP.

  • -That's right.

  • The Twin Association for the Advancement of Cloned People.

  • -Yep.

  • -We fundamentally disagree with the concept of the monologue.

  • -Mm-hmm. -Monologue -- one.

  • -Yep. You couldn't do one for each of us?

  • We have to share one?

  • -The monologue isn't just for you.

  • -Oh, yeah. We know. We know.

  • Why can't you do a late-night dialogue, Jimmy?

  • -We know why you can't do one, because you're a twincist.

  • The monologue only accounts for singletons.

  • -Mm-hmm. -I'm not a twincist.

  • What is a singleton?

  • -You are, Jimmy. You're a singleton.

  • -Yeah. Mm-hmm.

  • -Yeah, singletons have single-handedly

  • destroyed our universe.

  • -Of course they'd call it a universe.

  • Call it something else. -The multiverse.

  • -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

  • -So, we demand an apology. -Okay, okay.

  • Well, on behalf of all singletons,

  • I would like to apologize for the concept of the monologue.

  • -That apology is not good enough.

  • -Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. -No, no, no.

  • We're going to need something more.

  • -That's right.

  • -Uh, can we move into your apartment?

  • -Yep.

  • -I don't think so. -Alright.

  • -Okay, then give us a billion dollars

  • but only pay us in $2 bills.

  • -No.

  • -Okay, how about you clone yourself...

  • -Mm-hmm.

  • -...and change the name of the show to

  • "The Tonight Show with Twinny Fallon."

  • -I like that. -No. Close, but no. Still no.

  • -Well, then we guess the protests

  • will continue on indefinitely.

  • [ Chanting ] One, two, three, four!

  • Singletons are such a bore!

  • -Five, six, seven, eight!

  • Twins are dope, you can't relate!

  • -Oh, my God. Come on.

  • The Lucas brothers, everybody. The Lucas brothers. Get out.

-Now a report claims that Trump wants

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B2 TheTonightShow monologue lucas mm twin apology

The Lucas Brothers Demand an Apology for Jimmy's "Twincist" Monologue

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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