I heard there was identity theft.

-Oh, well, we're doing -- We did a field piece on identify theft.

I didn't lose my I.D.

I lost my credit card.

-That's right. -And the credit card company

do that thing where they ring up,

and they go, "Have you given your credit card to anyone?"

And I'm like, "Yeah, everyone I buy something from."

[ Laughter ]

It's like, "Protect your number."

They ring you up, "What's your number?" "There's my number."

"What's the secret code on the back?"

Oh, they'll never crack this.

What?

I just give it. It's like my Social Security number.

I give it out to --

I probably signed a contract to be on this show.

"There's my number. Off you go."

You give it away. Off they go.

Anyway, but every now and again, we got to travel around so much.

They do that thing where --

where they -- your credit card stops working.

And they go, "Oh, your credit card was being used

in Missouri." And I'm like, "I'm in Missouri!"

"It was used to buy a plane ticket in L.A.

And then it was in Missouri. You bought a hotel."

I'm like, "That all tracks. That's meant to be happening."

Or they go, "You're in a casino,

and you're taking out some cash."

What could I be using it for, right?

[ Laughter ]

But every now and again --

Every now and again, they ring you up,

and they go, "Did you do -- There was three transac--

There were two transactions in Akron, Ohio."

They go, "Did you use your card

for two transactions in Akron, Ohio?"

And I went, "No!"

And I go, "What were the transactions?"

They go, "To get a car out of the impound

and buy some baby formula."

And I went, "Ohh. Uh, yeah, I did do those."

And I let them have the card for two weeks

just till they got themselves back on their feet.

I just let them -- [ Laughs ] [ Audience "aww"s ]

And then they started buying shoes.

And I went, "Ah, enough of that" and got me card back.

-Just start buying expensive things, yeah.

-Yeah, so, while they were buying discount stuff,

I was -- "Alright. Have a good time."

-They're buying flat -- [ Laughter ]

-About that, I want to --

"The Jim Jefferies Show" is returning.

Anything new that we can look forward to?

-Oh, well, it's the same thing.

We're doing all these international field pieces.

-They're great. -Each show,

we go around the world, and we do -- We go around the world,

and we do one field piece in one city.

They actual way that's it's done is that I just book a gig.

And then we find something quirky about the town I'm in

to film during the day.

But I think the piece we're about to show is about how --

And this is going to happen to you, America --

facial recognition.

And we're all going to start getting scores.

Just like in China, they're looking at your face.

And then they're upping your score like your Uber rating,

whether you're acting good or not.

But it's not for things being illegal.

It's like, drunk and disorderly, you lose some things.

It's not illegal, is it? Is drunk and disorderly illegal?

-No. -Yeah.

-No, it's actually cool. -Leave my score alone.

[ Laughter ] -Exactly, yeah.

I want to show everyone a clip.

Here's a look at a new episode of "The Jim Jefferies Show."

Check it out.

-How accurate is this technology?

Like, what if I had an evil twin?

Could they murder someone? I'd get blamed?

-You can't rule out that possibility.

-What about, like, plastic surgery?

-It won't match.

-Right. So, it wouldn't have been able to tell

a young Michael Jackson and an old Michael Jackson.

-That would be like two different faces.

-What would your algorithm say, just from my face?

-Oh, you look very angry.

-Have you ever heard the term "resting bitch face"?

-[ Speaking Mandarin Chinese ] ..."resting bitch face"?

[ Laughter ]

-He'd never heard that. -No.

-Jim Jefferies, everybody!