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  • -Did you get your I.D. back?

  • I heard there was identity theft.

  • -Oh, well, we're doing -- We did a field piece on identify theft.

  • I didn't lose my I.D.

  • I lost my credit card.

  • -That's right. -And the credit card company

  • do that thing where they ring up,

  • and they go, "Have you given your credit card to anyone?"

  • And I'm like, "Yeah, everyone I buy something from."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It's like, "Protect your number."

  • They ring you up, "What's your number?" "There's my number."

  • "What's the secret code on the back?"

  • Oh, they'll never crack this.

  • What?

  • I just give it. It's like my Social Security number.

  • I give it out to --

  • I probably signed a contract to be on this show.

  • "There's my number. Off you go."

  • You give it away. Off they go.

  • Anyway, but every now and again, we got to travel around so much.

  • They do that thing where --

  • where they -- your credit card stops working.

  • And they go, "Oh, your credit card was being used

  • in Missouri." And I'm like, "I'm in Missouri!"

  • "It was used to buy a plane ticket in L.A.

  • And then it was in Missouri. You bought a hotel."

  • I'm like, "That all tracks. That's meant to be happening."

  • Or they go, "You're in a casino,

  • and you're taking out some cash."

  • What could I be using it for, right?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • But every now and again --

  • Every now and again, they ring you up,

  • and they go, "Did you do -- There was three transac--

  • There were two transactions in Akron, Ohio."

  • They go, "Did you use your card

  • for two transactions in Akron, Ohio?"

  • And I went, "No!"

  • And I go, "What were the transactions?"

  • They go, "To get a car out of the impound

  • and buy some baby formula."

  • And I went, "Ohh. Uh, yeah, I did do those."

  • And I let them have the card for two weeks

  • just till they got themselves back on their feet.

  • I just let them -- [ Laughs ] [ Audience "aww"s ]

  • And then they started buying shoes.

  • And I went, "Ah, enough of that" and got me card back.

  • -Just start buying expensive things, yeah.

  • -Yeah, so, while they were buying discount stuff,

  • I was -- "Alright. Have a good time."

  • -They're buying flat -- [ Laughter ]

  • -About that, I want to --

  • "The Jim Jefferies Show" is returning.

  • Anything new that we can look forward to?

  • -Oh, well, it's the same thing.

  • We're doing all these international field pieces.

  • -They're great. -Each show,

  • we go around the world, and we do -- We go around the world,

  • and we do one field piece in one city.

  • They actual way that's it's done is that I just book a gig.

  • And then we find something quirky about the town I'm in

  • to film during the day.

  • But I think the piece we're about to show is about how --

  • And this is going to happen to you, America --

  • facial recognition.

  • And we're all going to start getting scores.

  • Just like in China, they're looking at your face.

  • And then they're upping your score like your Uber rating,

  • whether you're acting good or not.

  • But it's not for things being illegal.

  • It's like, drunk and disorderly, you lose some things.

  • It's not illegal, is it? Is drunk and disorderly illegal?

  • -No. -Yeah.

  • -No, it's actually cool. -Leave my score alone.

  • [ Laughter ] -Exactly, yeah.

  • I want to show everyone a clip.

  • Here's a look at a new episode of "The Jim Jefferies Show."

  • Check it out.

  • -How accurate is this technology?

  • Like, what if I had an evil twin?

  • Could they murder someone? I'd get blamed?

  • -You can't rule out that possibility.

  • -What about, like, plastic surgery?

  • -It won't match.

  • -Right. So, it wouldn't have been able to tell

  • a young Michael Jackson and an old Michael Jackson.

  • -That would be like two different faces.

  • -What would your algorithm say, just from my face?

  • -Oh, you look very angry.

  • -Have you ever heard the term "resting bitch face"?

  • -[ Speaking Mandarin Chinese ] ..."resting bitch face"?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -He'd never heard that. -No.

  • -Jim Jefferies, everybody!

-Did you get your I.D. back?

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Jim Jefferies Let an Identity Thief Keep Using His Credit Card

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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