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  • -You guys, it's officially the last weekend of summer.

  • [ Audience groans ]

  • So if you never got that beach bod,

  • good news, you have another nine months.

  • -Oh. [ Laughter ]

  • -That's right, summer's just about over.

  • And you can tell fall is here,

  • 'cause White Claw just started selling pumpkin spice seltzer.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • The weekend is finally here. A ton of big movies are out

  • today Like "Rambo: Last Blood."

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Rambo's been around for 40 years.

  • I'm not saying Rambo's getting old,

  • but when first blood is drawn,

  • it's the nurse checking his diabetes.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • You may be wondering why I didn't tell that joke last night

  • when Sylvester Stallone was here.

  • and the answer is simple -- I was scared.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Also, the new Brad Pitt movie "Ad Astra" is also out today.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • There's a really crazy scene

  • where Brad looks out of his spaceship

  • and sees George Clooney still floating around.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Let's get to some news tonight.

  • President Trump held a formal state dinner

  • at the White House for the prime minister of Australia.

  • But I think Trump was confused.

  • I think Trump was confused

  • because he kept asking the prime minister,

  • [ As Trump ] "So which Hemsworth brother are you?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I'm a Liam guy myself.

  • [ Normal voice ] I saw that one of the guests at dinner

  • was the CEO of the company that owns KFC,

  • Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.

  • It was awkward when Trump saluted him

  • and not the prime minister. [ Laughter ]

  • [ As Trump ] This man is a colonel.

  • Show some respect.

  • [ Normal voice ] Some business news.

  • I saw that Amazon is buying

  • 100,000 electric delivery trucks.

  • Amazon said, yeah, it's really going to help the environment

  • while they deliver 100 million boxes made from trees.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • I saw that Lay's potato chips are redesigning their bags

  • for the first time in 12 years.

  • Yep, now they'll be able to hold fewer chips

  • and even more air than ever before.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -That must -- that must chip.

  • -This isn't good. Everyone's fine,

  • but a woman in Nebraska caused an apartment fire

  • after she tried to burn love letters from her ex-boyfriend.

  • [ Laughter ] Thankfully it all worked out,

  • cause now she's dating a fireman.

  • [ Laughter ] Jealous, Todd?

  • And finally this is crazy -- I saw that a man in Spain

  • caught a 230-pound catfish. Check this out.

  • [ Audience "ohhs" ]

  • Although the man was disappointed 'cause the catfish

  • looked nothing like its profile picture.

-You guys, it's officially the last weekend of summer.

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B1 TheTonightShow laughter trump prime minister minister prime

Trump Dines with Australia's Prime Minister and KFC CEO

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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