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-You guys, it's officially the last weekend of summer.
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[ Audience groans ]
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So if you never got that beach bod,
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good news, you have another nine months.
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-Oh. [ Laughter ]
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-That's right, summer's just about over.
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And you can tell fall is here,
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'cause White Claw just started selling pumpkin spice seltzer.
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[ Laughter and applause ]
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The weekend is finally here. A ton of big movies are out
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today Like "Rambo: Last Blood."
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Rambo's been around for 40 years.
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I'm not saying Rambo's getting old,
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but when first blood is drawn,
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it's the nurse checking his diabetes.
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[ Laughter ]
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You may be wondering why I didn't tell that joke last night
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when Sylvester Stallone was here.
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and the answer is simple -- I was scared.
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[ Laughter ]
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Also, the new Brad Pitt movie "Ad Astra" is also out today.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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There's a really crazy scene
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where Brad looks out of his spaceship
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and sees George Clooney still floating around.
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[ Laughter ]
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Let's get to some news tonight.
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President Trump held a formal state dinner
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at the White House for the prime minister of Australia.
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But I think Trump was confused.
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I think Trump was confused
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because he kept asking the prime minister,
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[ As Trump ] "So which Hemsworth brother are you?"
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[ Laughter ]
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I'm a Liam guy myself.
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[ Normal voice ] I saw that one of the guests at dinner
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was the CEO of the company that owns KFC,
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Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.
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It was awkward when Trump saluted him
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and not the prime minister. [ Laughter ]
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[ As Trump ] This man is a colonel.
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Show some respect.
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[ Normal voice ] Some business news.
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I saw that Amazon is buying
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100,000 electric delivery trucks.
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Amazon said, yeah, it's really going to help the environment
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while they deliver 100 million boxes made from trees.
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[ Laughter and applause ]
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I saw that Lay's potato chips are redesigning their bags
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for the first time in 12 years.
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Yep, now they'll be able to hold fewer chips
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and even more air than ever before.
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[ Laughter and applause ]
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-That must -- that must chip.
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-This isn't good. Everyone's fine,
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but a woman in Nebraska caused an apartment fire
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after she tried to burn love letters from her ex-boyfriend.
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[ Laughter ] Thankfully it all worked out,
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cause now she's dating a fireman.
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[ Laughter ] Jealous, Todd?
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And finally this is crazy -- I saw that a man in Spain
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caught a 230-pound catfish. Check this out.
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[ Audience "ohhs" ]
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Although the man was disappointed 'cause the catfish
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looked nothing like its profile picture.