Tyler Perry is my guest tonight.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Tyler is so busy, not only is he here now,

but he also played every Democrat at tonight's debate.

-Really? -Very impressive.

That's right. Earlier tonight in Iowa

was the first Democratic debate of 2020.

Of course, the top candidates are still

Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren.

Can we see them?

They look like a '60s folk band

that reunited for one final tour.

[ Laughter and applause ]

♪ The answer, my friend, is blowing in ♪

♪ Little Jacky paper ♪

[ Laughter ]

Actually, I think Joe Biden was a little confused

about which TV program he was on.

Check out his podium.

Yeah, no. Wrong show, Joe.

A lot of people criticized the fact

that all six candidates on stage were white.

But I think it might explain who sponsored tonight's debate.

Watch this.

-Tonight's Democratic debate

is brought to you by Dockers khakis.

Now with extra pleats.

Oatmilk -- turn anything into milk, and white people buy it.

Subaru, perfect for driving your kids, Noah and Charlotte.

HGTV -- it's B.E.T. for white people.

And, of course, the Oscars.

[ Audience ohs ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

And tonight everyone was focused on

Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren

after Bernie reportedly told her

a woman can't win the presidency.

Most Americans disagree,

while every Oscar voter sided with Bernie.

-Really?

-I'm surprised Bernie said that to Warren.

You think he would have learned his lesson

after he said the same thing to Cleopatra.

[ Laughter ]

But at tonight's debate, it was freezing in Iowa

with temperatures reaching 14 degrees.

Democrats said they hadn't seen numbers that low

since Bill de Blasio was in the race.

[ Laughter and applause ]

Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Seriously, it was so cold,

all the candidates shrunk to the size of Pete Buttigieg.

-Really? -Yeah.

[ Laughter ] It was so cold,

Joe Biden's teeth were chattering on his nightstand.

[ Laughter ]

Hey, I want to say congrats to the --

-[ Laughing ] What?

-That's how cold it was. -Yeah, yeah. It was a cold one.

[ Laughter ]

-I want to say congrats to the LSU Tigers on winning

the college football national championship.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Congratulations.

Last night they beat Clemson.

And today classes at LSU were canceled.

The only thing more empty than an LSU classroom

is the movie theater showing "Cats."

Wait, what? [ Audience ohs ]

-Dang. -I saw that LSU's

Heisman-winning quarterback Joe Burrow

threw for five touchdown passes last night.

Yeah, on one hand -- Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]

On one hand, he's the best player in college football.

On the other, he's one step closer

to playing for the Bengals.

[ Laughter ]

President Trump was at the big championship last night.

And this was cool.

The referees actually used his tie to measure first downs.

-Oh. [ Laughter ]

-That's right. Trump and Melania were at the game,

and they were seen chatting with Vince Vaughn.

Take a look.

-Yeah. So everyone's been --

everyone's been wondering what Vince Vaughn said to Trump.

Well, we actually were able to enhance the audio.

[ Laughter ]

And we have it for you now. Here, check this out.

-I had an amazing breakfast today.

-What did you have?

-Let's see, I had a quarter cup of prune juice.

-Uh-huh. -Yeah.

And an unfrosted Pop-Tart. -I need to try that.

But can I use a different juice?

-Apple juice works. -What?

-Apple juice should work well, too.

-Terrific. -Hey, your fly is down.

-Thank you, Mr. President.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Wow.

-Amazing we got that audio. -Wow, thank gosh.

[ Applause ]

-Well, you guys, last night

was another great episode of "The Bachelor."

We love it here and -- [ Cheers and applause ]

Yeah. The biggest story was the drama

between Kelsey and Hannah Ann.

Did you see what went down?

Apparently, Kelsey had brought a bottle of champagne

from her home in Iowa that she wanted to save

for a special moment with Peter, the Bachelor.

But Hannah Ann opened it with him instead.

Hannah Ann opened it. [ Audience oohs ]

[ Laughter ]

Take a look. Take a look.

-Hey, I have to say something. It's not okay what you did.

I set this up.

I brought this bottle from Des Moines.

Don't try to play dumb.

-I didn't know.

-[Bleep] You knew.

[ Bleep ] -I didn't.

-Tammy just went over here and told me.

-Bring Tammy here. -Literally.

-Because this was my thing. I set all this up.

-I had no idea. I would have never done that.

-I've had this -- -I had no idea.

-Oh, my God.

[ Laughter ]

-Yep. Iowa champagne.

Or as it's also known, Budweiser.

[ Laughter and applause ] -Hey!

-I brought it from my home.

[ Laughter ]

Kelsey really couldn't catch a break

'cause when she finally got to share some champagne with Peter,

it didn't go too well. Watch this.

-We can drink from the bottle. -Is that okay?

-Yeah. -Okay.

-I'm not a classy bitch all the time, so it's fine.

-There we go. Alright, sure.

Oh!

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Whoa! -Oh.

-Right then she made history as the first "Bachelor" contestant

to be bad at drinking right there.

[ Laughter ]

This is going viral.

A couple in the Philippines just held their wedding ceremony

right in front of an active volcano.

Check this out. Look at this.

Oh, my goodness. [ Audience ohs ]

Even worse, the bride had just thought,

"God, if this is a mistake, please give me a sign."

[ Laughter ]

Kelsey really liked that joke. -Yeah.

-And finally, a weatherman in Calgary wanted to show off

how cold it is in parts of Canada right now,

so he left his clothes out overnight.

Take a look at what happened.

[ Knocking ]

[ Audience ohs ]

[ Laughter ]

Mike Pence calls those jeans relaxed fit.

We have a great show.