Subtitles section Play video
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-Hey, guys, it's Friday,
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and that's usually when I check my inbox,
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I return some e-mails, and of course
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I write out thank-you notes.
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So, let's write out some thank-you notes.
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♪♪
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[ Piano music playing ]
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Thank you, wearing a mask outside in the summer,
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for introducing me to an entirely new problem --
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chin sauna.
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Good job, guys. What are you eating?
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-Ice. -Hmm.
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♪♪
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Thank you, FDA, saying some hand sanitizers
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may contain a lethal ingredient,
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for not even being in the top 100 news stories
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from 2020 that give me anxiety.
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♪♪
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[ Chuckles ]
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Thank you, President Trump returning from Tulsa,
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for looking like a dad who's about to tell his family,
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"We have to move again."
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♪♪
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Thank you, Disneyland, delaying your reopening,
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for being good news for stopping the coronavirus,
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but bad news for couples who have made Disney
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their whole personality.
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♪♪
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Really chomping on those ice back there, huh?
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♪♪
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Thank you, "Hamilton" on Disney+,
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for being such an authentic Broadway experience
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that I couldn't get tickets.
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[ Laughs ]
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You can press other buttons if you feel like it now, guys.
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It's up to you. Thank you...
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-Ooh, uhh. -...summer --
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-Ooh... -Music, please.
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Music, please. -Ooh, uhh.
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-Music, please. Why would I --
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Music -- Music, please. Why would I do that?
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Thank you, summer solstice,
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for being the longest day of the year
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in the longest year in history.
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Music, please. -Ooh, uhh.
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-[ Sighs ] -Ooh, uhh, ooh, uhh.
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-Thank you -- Music, please.
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-Ooh, uhh. Ooh, uhh. -Music, please.
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Thank you... [ Chuckles ]
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Music, please. Music, please.
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Music, please. -Ooh, uhh.
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[ Laughter ] -Thank you,
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Declaration of Independence... -Ooh, uhh.
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-Yeah, "ooh, uhh." Thank you.
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-Ooh, uhh.
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-Thank you, Declaration of Independence,
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for being the original
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"I'm so mad, I'm gonna write a letter!"
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-Ooh, yeah!
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-Music, please. -Ooh, uhh!
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-Ahh... -Thank you...
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coleslaw, for looking like someone threw
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a bunch of grass clippings in a bowl of milk.
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-Ahh...
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-And finally, thank you, water slides,
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for being crazy straws for people.
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Thank you very much. Those are our thank-you notes.
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Thank you for being great,
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for playing that music, you guys.
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Really great job.