the Green Bay Packers taking on the Chicago bears.

Everybody was excited.

Now we get to watch football, and, more importantly,

we get to drink in the middle of the week!

Yes! [ Cheers and applause ]

That's right -- tonight was the big Packers-Bears game.

Both teams played great, but in the end,

the big winner between the two cities

was once again Pepto-Bismol.

But right now, the Kansas City Chiefs are

the big favorites to win the Super Bowl,

while the biggest underdogs are the Miami Dolphins.

Yeah, the Dolphins are 500-to-1 long shots to win it all.

You can tell they're depressed.

When they run out of the tunnel,

the music in the stadium is Adele.

Seriously, I am so pumped that football is back.

For once, it'll be nice to see someone fumble

that isn't Joe Biden.

Speaking of Biden, did you guys see him

on CNN's town hall last night?

This is real. It was crazy.

He was onstage, and he just started bleeding from his eye.

I swear. Check out -- This is real.

Look at this.

I don't know if he wants to be President

or the next Bond villain.

"I think climate change is real, Mr. Bond.

No more straws for you, Mr. Bond.

The turtles will see to that."

But back to football.

I saw that the Eagles' offensive line just posed naked

in "ESPN the Magazine'S" "Body Issue."

Take a look at this. This is real. Wow!

They look like a boy band that fell on really hard times.

They just changed their slogan from "Fly, Eagles, fly" to

"Why, Eagles, why?"

I was like, "Oh."

This is pretty big.

I don't know if you guys saw this story

about Trump and a Sharpie?

Do you know it's -- It's trending right now.

It's a pretty long story, but let's just get right into it.

Let's start from the beginning.

This weekend, Trump tweeted that Alabama would be

hit by Hurricane Dorian, even after

the National Weather Service said that wasn't the case.

Trump tweeted, "In addition to Florida, South Carolina,

North Carolina, Georgia, and Alabama

will most likely be hit much harder then anticipated."

But, in real life, Alabama was never in any danger,

so rather than admit he made a mistake, yesterday,

Trump doubled down and presented an old map that showed

the path of the hurricane, and it looks like

a small addition was made to the -- Just take a look.

See if you can find the...

-It was going to be hitting directly,

and that would have affected a lot of other states,

but that was the original chart.

-I don't know if you saw.

Dave, can we zoom in on that map that he was --

Can you -- Do you see there's clearly --

There's clearly another drawing. What...

There's clearly -- Yeah, someone --

and I'm not saying who -- clearly used a Sharpie to draw

another circle around Alabama to back up his claim

and then added it to this map.

People were shocked that he didn't draw it

to look like this.

And, clearly, he drew on the map.

Americans saw that and were like,

"Don't let him anywhere near the Constitution, please."

[ As Trump ] As you can see, our Founding Fathers

clearly wanted free guac at Chipotle.

That's what they...

[ Cheers and applause ]

That's what they wanted. I didn't do it.

Someone else did that to the Constitution.

[ Normal voice ] But after the embarrassment,

Trump tweeted a different map showing that Dorian

would hit Alabama yet again.

Take a look. Yeah.

You know, something about that photo made me think,

and I was like -- I was looking at that.

I'm like, "Why does he love this?

Why is he so attached to that map?

And I think I can see why." Check this out.

Yeah, he's like -- That's his hair.

As I mentioned before, last night,

CNN hosted 2020 Democrats for seven hours of town halls

focused on climate change.

Seven hours. Even C-SPAN was like...

[ Snores ]

And during last night's town hall,

Bernie Sanders received a question from

a member of the audience, and it brings us

to a new segment called "Get to Know the Voter."

Enjoy. ♪♪

-I have large feet. ♪♪

-There you go. Some more 2020 news.

I saw that... [ Laughter ]

I saw that Bill de Blasio is thinking about

dropping out of the presidential race next month.

-Aww!

-Yeah, when he told his family, they were like,

"We thought you dropped out six weeks ago.

This is terrible news."

This is strange here.

A bride told her maid of honor that she

could wear anything she wanted to her wedding,

and so she decided to dress up like a T. rex.

This is real. Take a look at this. Yeah.

It was funny until she dropped the rings and said,

"Oh, can someone please -- I'm sorry.

This is awkward. Oh, boy. Could someone, please..."

It got even weirder when one of the grooms was like,

"Hey, Doug, what's her deal?"

Well, finally, the big movie this weekend

is "IT Chapter Two."

[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, I'm excited.

I don't know if you've seen the trailer, but it's pretty scary.

Take a look at this.