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  • -Guys, it is the end of the week,

  • and that's usually when I catch up on some personal stuff.

  • You know, I check my inbox, return some e-mails,

  • and, of course, I send out Thank You Notes.

  • And I was running a bit behind today,

  • so I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd just like

  • to write out my weekly Thank You Notes right now.

  • Is that cool with you guys? [ Cheers and applause ]

  • James, can I get some Thank You Note writing music, please?

  • ♪♪

  • Still got the beard.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, using Taco Bell's new home delivery service

  • for basically saying,

  • "I'm not just Taco Bell stoned.

  • I'm Taco Bell delivery stoned."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Ohh! I went for it.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, new NHL season, for giving me a great reference

  • when I carve my jack-o-lantern.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • -Come on!

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you, going to a museum with a friend,

  • for giving me the chance to play a fun game of,

  • "How long do I have to look at this painting

  • to seem like I get art?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • -Are they still here? Did they go in the other room yet?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Thank you, pumpkin-flavored beer

  • that only comes out in the fall,

  • for being released just infrequently enough

  • for me to forget that you taste bad.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • Pbht!

  • -Ohh. What is this? Pumpkin?

  • -I don't need that.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, TikTok, for letting every 20-year-old

  • who remembers Vine be like,

  • "Back in my day, we only had 6 seconds.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • We didn't have this much time now, TikTokkers."

  • -...16 years old. -Whippersnappers.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Thank you, matcha green tea,

  • for tasting like what would happen

  • if you added water to 25-year-old chalk.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • It's good for you. -Yeah.

  • -Pumpkin beer. It's really good for you.

  • -Thank you, envelopes you have to lick,

  • for letting me mail my DNA.

  • There you guys have it! Those are my Thank You Notes.

-Guys, it is the end of the week,

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Thank You Notes: The New NHL Season, Envelopes You Have to Lick

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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