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  • -♪ All right, oh, hey

  • -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey

  • Hey, hey hey, hey

  • All right, all right ♪ -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey

  • -♪ All right, oh, hey

  • -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey

  • Hey, hey hey, hey

  • All right, all right ♪ -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey

  • Hey, hey, hey

  • -♪ Hey, hey

  • ♪♪

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Look at this!

  • Oh, my goodness. Look at you guys!

  • Welcome, everybody! Welcome, welcome, welcome!

  • Oh.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

  • We are coming to you

  • from the University of Texas in Austin.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you to the students for being here,

  • the school for having us,

  • and Samsung for making all this possible.

  • I am so happy to be in Austin. I've done it all.

  • I came, I saw, I got into a scooter accident.

  • [ Laughter, cheers, applause ]

  • You guys, I am so pumped to bring "The Tonight Show" to U.T.

  • Because if you saw my grades in high school,

  • you'd know this is the only way I was getting into U.T.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • We have 3,000 students in the house tonight.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • You guys are the best.

  • So many people wanted to come,

  • we had to do a lottery for tickets.

  • But if you wanted to come somewhere

  • that's easy to get into, y'all would be at Texas A&M right now.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Oh! Oh!

  • Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

  • -Snap!

  • Dang!

  • -By the way, I like my jacket. Right?

  • I like my jacket. I like this frill.

  • [ Laughter, cheers ]

  • I wanted to look like Johnny Cash.

  • Instead, I look like Woody from "Toy Story"

  • going through a goth phase.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Had to put this outfit on after I jumped into the U.T.

  • fountain in my suit.

  • Please don't tell me what you did to that fountain.

  • I don't want to know. [ Laughter ]

  • I don't want to know what's in that water.

  • But this morning, I woke up with a rash on my longhorn.

  • Do you know if that makes sense to you?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • One of the best parts about U.T.

  • has to be the live Longhorn mascot, Bevo.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • He's a real live steer. Let's take a look at him.

  • Where's Bevo -- There he is.

  • Aw, yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • That's right.

  • That's the 15th Bevo in U.T. history.

  • And if you want to know what happened to the other 14 --

  • Franklin Barbecue, located at 900 East 11th Street,

  • Austin, Texas, 78702.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I wanted you all to know that there will be

  • no political jokes tonight.

  • I also want you to know that your school colors

  • are white and burnt orange,

  • so you're making it pretty hard.

  • I just want to let you know this.

  • [ Laughter, cheers, applause ]

  • I've had the best time here.

  • This week felt just like my time in college --

  • I didn't go to class, I don't know any girls,

  • and I'll be gone before graduation.

-♪ All right, oh, hey

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A2 TheTonightShow applause austin laughter texas fountain

Jimmy's Monologue from the University of Texas at Austin

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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